Uphila ngaphansi kwengcindezi awazi ukuthi wenqabe kanjani. Noma unamahloni kakhulu. Oncike kuzakwethu. Noma mhlawumbe ukhathazekile ngesimo sokujabula ngokweqile somntwana owenqaba ukuya esikoleni. Indlela ye-Adlerian isiza ukubhekana nezinkinga ezihlukahlukene, kuhlanganise nokucindezeleka nokukhathazeka kokukhathazeka. Kungani ethakazelisa? Okokuqala nje, ukuba nethemba.
Ubani onqumayo ukuthi ukuphila kwethu kuyoba njani? Thina kuphela! kuphendula indlela ka-Adlerian. Umsunguli wayo, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sase-Austrian u-Alfred Adler (1870-1937), wakhuluma ngeqiniso lokuthi wonke umuntu unendlela yokuphila eyingqayizivele engathonywa kakhulu umndeni, indawo ezungezile, izici esizalwa nazo, kodwa "ngamandla ethu okudala amahhala." Lokhu kusho ukuthi umuntu ngamunye uyaguqula, ahumushe okwenzeka kuye—okungukuthi, ngempela udala ukuphila kwakhe. Futhi ekugcineni, akusona isenzakalo ngokwaso esizuza incazelo, kodwa incazelo esiyinamathisela kuso. Isitayela sempilo sikhula ngaphambi kwesikhathi, lapho sineminyaka engu-6-8.
(Ungacabangi) ngayo
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseMelika uRudolph D. Dreikurs, esathuthukisa imibono ka-Adler phakathi nekhulu leminyaka elidlule, sathi: “Izingane ziyizibukeli ezinhle kakhulu, kodwa azihumushi kahle. Lokhu kubonakala kuwumthombo wezinkinga zethu. Ingane ibheka ngokucophelela okwenzekayo nxazonke, kodwa ayenzi iziphetho ezifanele ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uMarina Chibisova siyachaza: “Njengoba ziye zasinda lapho abazali bazo behlukana, ngisho nezingane zomkhaya owodwa zingafinyelela iziphetho ezihluke ngokuphelele. — Ingane eyodwa iyonquma: akukho okungithandela kona, futhi nginecala ngeqiniso lokuthi abazali bami bahlukana. Omunye uzoqaphela: Ubudlelwano ngezinye izikhathi buphela, futhi lokho kulungile hhayi iphutha lami. Owesithathu uzophetha ngokuthi: udinga ukulwa futhi wenze kanjalo ukuze bahlale becabanga nami futhi bangangishiyi. Futhi wonke umuntu uya phambili ekuphileni ngokuqiniseka kwakhe.
Kunamathonya amaningi ngaphezu kwamazwi angawodwana, ngisho nanamandla, awabazali.
Okunye ukufakwa kuyakha impela. “Omunye wabafundi bami wathi ebuntwaneni bakhe wafinyelela esiphethweni: “Ngimuhle, futhi wonke umuntu uyangithanda,” kuqhubeka isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Uyithathephi? Isizathu akukona ukuthi ubaba onothando noma umuntu angamazi wamtshela ngakho. Indlela ye-Adlerian ikuphika ukuxhumana okuqondile phakathi kwalokho abazali abakushoyo nabakwenzayo kanye nezinqumo ezithathwa yingane. Futhi ngaleyo ndlela kukhulula abazali emthwalweni omkhulu womthwalo wemfanelo womuntu siqu ngezinkinga ezingokwengqondo zengane.
Kunamathonya amaningi ngaphezu kwamazwi angawodwana, ngisho nanamandla, awabazali. Kodwa lapho izimo zengqondo ziba yisithiyo, ungakuvumeli ukuba uxazulule ngokuphumelelayo izinkinga zokuphila, kunesizathu sokuphendukela kusazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.
Khumbula konke
Umsebenzi ngamunye neklayenti ngendlela ye-Adlerian uqala ngokuhlaziya indlela yokuphila kanye nokusesha izinkolelo eziyiphutha. “Ngemva kokubheka kabanzi ngazo, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sinikeza iklayenti incazelo yalo, ebonisa ukuthi lesi simiso sezinkolelo sithuthuke kanjani nokuthi yini engenziwa ngakho,” kuchaza uMarina Chibisova. — Ngokwesibonelo, iklayenti lami uVictoria uhlale elindele okubi kakhulu. Udinga ukubona kusengaphambili noma iyiphi into encane, futhi uma ezivumela ukuba aphumule, khona-ke okuthile ekuphileni kuzophazamiseka.
Ukuze sihlaziye indlela yokuphila, siphendukela kuzinkumbulo zakuqala. Ngakho-ke, uVictoria wakhumbula ukuthi wayeshwiba kanjani ejimini ngosuku lokuqala lwamaholide esikole. Wayejabule futhi wenza izinhlelo eziningi zaleli sonto. Wabe esewa, waphuka ingalo futhi wahlala inyanga yonke efake ukhonkolo. Le nkumbulo yangisiza ukuba ngibone isimo sengqondo sokuthi nakanjani “wayezowa lapho esjingi” uma ezivumela ukuba aphazamiseke futhi azijabulele.”
Ukuze uqonde ukuthi isithombe sakho somhlaba asiyona into engokoqobo enenjongo, futhi isiphetho sakho sobuntwana, empeleni esinenye indlela, singaba nzima. Kwabanye, imihlangano engu-5-10 yanele, kanti abanye badinga izinyanga eziyisithupha noma ngaphezulu, kuye ngokuthi ukujula kwenkinga, ubunzima bomlando kanye nezinguquko ezifunwayo.
Zibambe
Esinyathelweni esilandelayo, iklayenti lifunda ukuzibheka. The Adlerians have a term — «ukuzibamba» (ukuzibamba). Umsebenzi uwukubona isikhathi lapho inkolelo eyiphutha iphazamisa izenzo zakho. Ngokwesibonelo, uVictoria walandelela izimo lapho kwakunomuzwa wokuthi “uzophinde awe ejimini” futhi. Kanye nomelaphi, wabahlaziya futhi wafinyelela isiphetho esisha kuye: ngokuvamile, izenzakalo zingathuthuka ngezindlela ezahlukene, futhi akudingekile ukuba uwele e-swing, ngokuvamile uyakwazi ukusukuma ngokuzolile futhi uqhubeke.
Ngakho iklayenti licabangisisa kabusha ngeziphetho zezingane bese likhetha ukutolika okuhlukile, umuntu omdala. Bese ufunda ukwenza ngokusekelwe kukho. Isibonelo, uVictoria wafunda ukuphumula futhi ahlukanise imali ethile ukuze ayisebenzise ngokujabula, ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuthi "uzoyindiza."
“Ngokubona ukuthi kuningi okungenzeka kuye ukuziphatha, iklayenti lifunda ukwenza ngokuphumelelayo,” kuphetha uMarina Chibisova.
Phakathi kokuhlanganisa nokususa
Ngokombono ka-Adler, isisekelo sokuziphatha komuntu sihlala siwumgomo othile onquma ukuhamba kwawo ekuphileni. Lo mgomo "uyinganekwane", okungukuthi, awusekelwe emqondweni ojwayelekile, kodwa ngomqondo ongokomzwelo, "womuntu siqu": isibonelo, umuntu kufanele ahlale elwela ukuba ngcono. Futhi lapha sikhumbula umqondo inkolelo-mbono ka-Adler ehlotshaniswa nawo ngokuyinhloko - umuzwa wokuzizwa uphansi.
Isipiliyoni sokungabi nalutho siyisici somunye nomunye wethu, u-Adler wayekholelwa. Wonke umuntu ubhekene neqiniso lokuthi abazi ukuthi kanjani/abanakho okuthile, noma ukuthi abanye benza okuthile okungcono. Kulo muzwa kuzalwa isifiso sokunqoba nokuphumelela. Umbuzo uthi yini ngempela esiyibona njengobuncane bethu, njengokususa, futhi kuphi, sizodlulela kuphi? Yile vector eyinhloko yokunyakaza kwethu okuyisisekelo sendlela yokuphila.
Eqinisweni, lena impendulo yethu embuzweni othi: yini okufanele ngilwele ukuyenza? Yini ezonginika umuzwa wobuqotho obuphelele, okusho? Okokuhlanganisa okukodwa - ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi awubonwa. Kwabanye, ukunambitheka kokunqoba. Okwesithathu - umuzwa wokulawula okuphelele. Kodwa lokho okubhekwa njenge-plus akuhlali kuwusizo ngempela ekuphileni. Indlela ye-Adlerian isiza ekutholeni inkululeko enkulu yokuhamba.
Funda kabanzi
Ungakwazi ukujwayelana nemibono ye-Adlerian psychology kwesinye sezikole ezihlelwa minyaka yonke yi-The International Committee of Adler Summer Schools and Institutes (ICASSI). Okulandelayo, iSikole Sasehlobo Sonyaka sama-53 sizoba seMinsk ngoJulayi 2020. Funda kabanzi ku- .