Okuqukethwe
Ukwabelana ngemizwa yakho, imicabango, kanye nezidingo zakho nabanye kuvame ukuba nzima kakhulu, ikakhulukazi uma ubungavunyelwe ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho futhi uveze imizwa «engalungile», njengentukuthelo noma ukwesaba, njengengane. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uSharon Martin sichaza ukuthi kungani lokhu kwenzeka nokuthi kufanele kwenziweni ngakho.
Wafundiswa kanjani ukubhekana nemizwa yakho useyingane?
Ingabe izinkathazo zakho nokungabaza kwakho kwathathwa ngokungathi sína? Ingabe ukuceba kokuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo nokukhuluma kwazo kwakhuthazwa? Ingabe abazali bakho bangaba isibonelo sokubonisa imizwa ngendlela enempilo?
Emikhayeni eminingi, imizwelo ibangela ukungakhululeki. Indlela abakhuluma ngayo ingase ifanekisele, noma kungase kube nemithetho engabhaliwe emkhayeni okungafanele kukhulunywe ngayo ngokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu. Abanye abazali bachazela izingane zabo ukuthi imizwelo ethile, njengentukuthelo, ayamukeleki, ayivamile. Ingane emndenini onjalo ifunda ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho kwayo akufanelekile, futhi yona ngokwayo ayinalo ilungelo lemizwa nezidingo.
Imizwa “ifuna” ukuqashelwa futhi ivezwe
Uma wawuqaphela umndeni wakho kule ncazelo, khona-ke cishe, njengengane, wafunda ukuthi akufanele ube nawo, ingasaphathwa eyokuveza imizwa. Akufanele ucele lutho kunoma ubani, uncike kunoma ubani noma uthembele kunoma ubani. Ngokunokwenzeka, wena ngokwakho kwakudingeka ufune izindlela zokuhlangabezana nezidingo zakho, ufunde ukuphatha imizwelo nemizwa. Lokhu kungase kuholele emizamweni engemihle "yokungcwaba" imizwa yabo ngokujulile, iphazamise kubo noma ibaminzise.
Kodwa imizwa yakho ibingeke ivele iphele! Imizwa “ifuna” ukuqashelwa futhi ivezwe. Ngoba uyaphika ukuthi zikhona, ngeke zinyamalale. Imizamo yokuphazamisa kubo ngeke isebenze: imizwa izoqhubeka inqwabelana futhi ishube ngaphakathi uze ubhekane nayo.
Imizwa isinika ulwazi olubalulekile
Imizwa yakho idlulisa izimpawu ezibalulekile eziklanyelwe ukukusiza ukuba ubhekane nesimo, wenze izinqumo, uzazi, futhi uxhumane nabanye. Isibonelo, ukwesaba noma intukuthelo ingakuxwayisa ngengozi futhi ikusize uthathe isinyathelo ukuze uyigweme.
Ubuhlungu bemizwa bukutshela ukuthi kukhona okungalungile futhi bukusiza ukuthi unqume ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze ngokulandelayo. Uma ungazi ngakho, ngeke ukwazi ukucela lokho okudingayo - umusa nenhlonipho kwabanye.
Ukwabelana ngemizwa kusisondeza kwabanye
Ngokuvamile siyesaba ukutshela umlingani wethu mayelana nezinto esiye sabhekana nazo nezidingo zethu, ikakhulukazi uma singajwayele ukwenza lokhu. Mhlawumbe uyesaba ukuthi othandekayo uzokuziba izambulo zakho, angaziqondi, noma anqabe ukwamukela lokho akuzwayo. Noma mhlawumbe uzokwahlulela noma asebenzise lokho akushilo ngokumelene nawe ...
Kodwa maningi amathuba okuthi ubudlelwano nomlingani wakho busondelane futhi buthembeke nakakhulu uma ekugcineni wabelana naye ngezinkathazo zakho nezifiso zakho. Sonke sinesidingo esijulile sokuqonda nokwamukelwa. Lapho sibonisa abanye izinhlangothi zethu ezisengozini - ukwesaba, ukuhlangana, izinkumbulo esinamahloni ngazo - lokhu kusiza ukusungula ukuxhumana okusondelene kakhulu ngokomzwelo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, lapho sakha izifiso zethu ngokuqondile, maningi amathuba okuba zigcwaliseke. Iningi lifuna ngobuqotho ukujabulisa abalingani babo, kodwa abantu abakwazi ukufunda izingqondo, futhi kuyoba okungalungile ukulindela othandekayo ukuba aqonde njalo intuitively lokho okudingayo.
Udonga luzokuvikela ebuhlungu, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ngeke likuvumele ukuthi uzizwe usondelene nabanye.
Uma uke walinyazwa ebuhlotsheni bamanje noma obudlule, isifiso sokuzihlukanisa, ukufihla ngemuva "kodonga lwamatshe" siyaqondakala. Udonga luzokuvikela ebuhlungu, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ngeke likuvumele ukuthi uzizwe usondelene nabanye. Futhi bona, ngeke bakwazi ukukuthanda uma ungawavumeli ukuba angene enhliziyweni yakho.
Ayikho indlela elula nephephile yokwabelana ngolwazi lwakho. Kodwa-ke, uma unquma ukuthi usulungele ubuhlobo obujulile, futhi uqaphele ukuthi lokhu kudinga ukuvula umhlaba wakho wangaphakathi, ungafunda kancane kancane ukwethemba abanye.
Kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano obunempilo, inqubo yokwabelana ngolwazi olusondele kakhulu lwenzeka ngokuhambisana futhi kancane kancane. Okokuqala, vuma ngobuqotho ukuthi kunzima futhi kuyethusa ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho, izifiso nezidingo zakho. Kungase kuvele ukuthi umlingani wakho wesaba ukukubonisa uhlangothi lwakhe olusengozini.