Okuqukethwe
Mhlawumbe wonke umbhangqwana udlula kulesi sigaba: konke kuhamba kahle ebuhlotsheni, kodwa kukhona ubulili obuncane. Kwesinye isikhathi lesi simo sihambisana ngasese nabalingani bobabili. Futhi kuyenzeka ukuthi umuntu usalokhu enganelisekile. Kungani ungalufuni ucansi futhi yini enciphisa isifiso socansi?
Ukuze ulungise inkinga, kufanele uqale unqume imbangela yayo. Yiqiniso, kukhona amaningi angaphezu kwamahlanu. Ukuya ocansini kuthintwa isimo sempilo, nokungafani kwama-biorhythms, nanoma yikuphi ukungaboni ngaso linye kwabashadile. Futhi abanye besifazane, ngisho nanamuhla, bangaphansi kwenkohliso yokuthi akufanele bajabulele ubulili, ngakho-ke baphathe njengomsebenzi.
Futhi nokho izizathu ezivame kakhulu, ngokusho kokubonwa kwabelaphi bomndeni, yilezi ezilandelayo:
1. ukucindezeleka
Izimo ezicindezelayo njalo zinciphisa ukuhlanganiswa kwe-testosterone, ihomoni lapho isifiso sobulili sincike ngokuqondile. Futhi, impendulo ye-biochemical ekucindezelekeni ihilela ukukhululwa kwe-cortisol (i-hormone yokukhathazeka) ne-adrenaline. Lesi sakamuva silungiselela umzimba ukuthi ubhekane nezimo ezinzima ngokukhuphula ushukela wegazi nomfutho wegazi ukuze uqhubekisele phambili imisipha nobuchopho.
Nokho, ekuphileni okuvamile asikudingi konke lokhu. Yingakho ngemva kwesimo esicindezelayo sizwa ukukhathala okunamandla. Luhlobo luni locansi uma ufuna nje ukuwela embhedeni ulale? Ukuntuleka kokulala okujwayelekile nakho kuthinta impilo yocansi hhayi ngendlela engcono kakhulu.
Kusenza singakunaki lokho okushukumisayo okujabulisayo njengokuphulula.
Ukuqeda lezi zimbangela, kuyadingeka ukuthatha izinga lokucindezeleka ngaphansi kokulawula futhi unqobe ukuqwasha. Ungaqala ngomthetho olula: ungahloli i-imeyili yakho yomsebenzi futhi ungabuki izindaba ngaphambi kokulala.
Futhi ubulili buyindlela engcono kakhulu yokushelela imiphumela yokucindezeleka. Phela, lapho senza kaningi uthando, ama-endorphin amaningi kanye ne-oxytocin emzimbeni - amahomoni enjabulo nothando.
2. Ukudla okungafanele
Lesi yisona sizathu esivimbela kakhulu sokwehla kwesenzo socansi. Ukuzuza kwesisindo okuphawulekayo kunomphumela omubi emsebenzini wemithambo yegazi, kuhlanganise nendawo yangasese, ethinta kabi ukuzwela kwabo.
Isidlo sakusihlwa esinenhliziyo yonke singenza ize noma yimaphi amathuba obusuku bothando. Wonke amandla omzimba azoya ekugayekeni kokudla. Futhi ukudla okunamafutha nakho kubangela umuzwa wobunzima nokozela.
Ngakho-ke, kungcono ukuba nesidlo sakusihlwa kusenesikhathi nokudla okulula - amasaladi emifino, inhlanzi kanye nezilwane zasolwandle.
Kuyafaneleka ukusho amagama ambalwa mayelana notshwala. Ngokuphambene nezinkolelo-ze, inani elikhulu lotshwala alikhulisi i-libido, kodwa liyayibulala. Ukusetshenziswa kabi kotshwala kuthinta iziphetho zemizwa ezibhekene nokumiswa kwabesilisa kanye nokuzwela kwe-clitoral kwabesifazane.
3. Ukuzinyeza
Ukuzibheka okungalungile kwenza umuntu aboshwe futhi adume kabi, akuvumeli ukuphumula. Uma kubonakala kuwe ukuthi awukwazi ukuthakasela noma ubani ngokocansi, kusho ukuthi lokhu kunciphisa intshisekelo yakho enqubweni ngokwayo.
Ngakho-ke, udinga ukuyeka ukugxila ekushiyekeni kwakho. Ukuphila kocansi okusebenzayo akubona kuphela abanikazi bomzimba ophelele.
Yeka ukucabanga ngamasentimitha engeziwe okhalweni, khathazeka nge-hump ekhaleni noma amabala angemuva. Zithande, uzizwe ukhululeke kakhulu. Umphumela ngeke uhlale ulindile. Uma ungakwazi ukuzenzela, ungabhalisela ukuqeqeshwa ukuzethemba noma ukubonisana nochwepheshe.
4. Ukuntuleka kwemizwa
Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abesifazane badinga isikhathi esengeziwe sokuzizwa benesifiso sobulili. Akuvamile ukuba idlule abameleli bengxenye enhle yesintu ngokuzumayo. Futhi ngokuvamile bayenqaba isipho sophathina, hhayi ngoba bengalufuni nhlobo ubulili namuhla, kodwa ngoba bamane bengasizwa isifiso.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, amadoda avame ukubona ukwenqatshwa njengokungazimisele nhlobo komlingani ukwenza uthando. Kubo, lokhu kungase kusho ukuthi: "Akasangifuni."
Konke lokhu kuholela ekwehleni kokuxhumana ocansini kwabashadile.
Kungokwemvelo ukuthi asikwazi ukufisa ukusondelana noma nini lapho uzakwethu esesimweni esigculisayo. Nokho, cabanga ukuthi yini engashintsha isinqumo sakho.
Chazela umlingani wakho ukuthi i-foreplay ibaluleke kangakanani kuwena, imibhalo yothando phakathi nosuku, ukuqabulana okude ngemva kokubuya emsebenzini, okuthambile, okucatshangwa ukuthi kukhululekile, ukuthinta ngenkathi ulungiselela isidlo sakusihlwa, nezinye izimpawu zocansi.
Cabanga ngalokho okuvulayo. Mhlawumbe ifilimu nomlingisi omthandayo? Ukubhucungwa kwenkanuko? Usuku ekhefi ethokomele? Zisize usethe isimo socansi.
5. Awazi ukuthi uthandani
Abesifazane abaningi abazi ukuthi yisiphi isikhundla okungenzeka ukuthi babe ne-orgasm, noma bayathanda ukuqabulana ngesikhathi socansi, nokuthi yini evame ukubavulela embhedeni. Abanye abantu abazicabangi ngisho nalezi zinto.
Abanye, ngokuphambene nalokho, sekuyisikhathi eside bephupha ukuthi umlingani wabo, isibonelo, ebabophe embhedeni, kodwa banamahloni ukusho kanjalo. Futhi lokhu, yiqiniso, akusizi impilo yocansi.
Ake sidwebe ukuhambisana okulula. Uyazazi izintandokazi zakho zokupheka futhi ngeke udle i-tuna tartare uma ungakwazi ukumela inhlanzi eluhlaza. Ngakho uma umlingani wakho ezopheka lesi sidlo ukuze adle, uyamxwayisa, futhi angashintsha imenyu.
Pho kungani siziphatha ngendlela ehlukile uma kuziwa ocansini?
Uma ubulili bungalethi injabulo, ekugcineni isifiso siyaphela. Cabanga ngalokho okungase kukuthakasele. Ngalokhu, ngendlela, kuyasiza ukubuka izithombe ezingcolile futhi uxoxe ngalokho okubonayo nomlingani wakho.
Ungesabi ukuthi uzokwahlulela. Ucansi kufanele luyeke ukuba yindaba engavumelekile. Ungesabi izifiso zomzimba wakho. Xoxani ngenkinga nenze konke ukuze amazwi angahlukani nezenzo.
Mayelana Nombhali: USarah Hunter Murray Isazi Sezengqondo, Isazi Semibhangqwana kanye Nochwepheshe Wezobudlelwane Bocansi we-American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.