Isibuko, izithombe ozishuthe zona, izithombe, ukuzihlola... Sizicingela ngokwethu noma ngokucabangisisa ngathi. Kodwa lokhu kusesha kuvame ukusishiya singanelisekile. Kukhona okukuvimbela ukuthi uzibuke ngendlela eqondile ...
Singasho ngokuphepha: phakathi kwethu kukhona abambalwa abaneliseke ngokuphelele ngokwabo, ikakhulukazi ngokubukeka kwabo. Cishe wonke umuntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi owesilisa noma owesifazane, angathanda ukulungisa okuthile: ukuzethemba kakhudlwana noma ukwenama kakhudlwana, ukuba nezinwele ezigoqene esikhundleni sokuba ziqonde futhi okuphambene nalokho, ukwenza imilenze ibe yinde, amahlombe abe banzi ... Sibhekana nokungapheleli, okwangempela noma okucatshangwayo. , ikakhulukazi ebusheni. “Nganginamahloni ngokwemvelo, kodwa ukuhlazeka kwami kwandiswa ngokulahlwa yicala lobubi bami. Futhi ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi akukho lutho olunethonya elimangalisayo ekuqondeni komuntu njengokubukeka kwakhe, futhi hhayi kuphela ukubukeka ngokwako, kodwa inkolelo yokukhanga kwayo noma ukungathandeki, "uLeo Tolstoy uchaza isimo sakhe engxenyeni yesibili ye-autobiographical. trilogy" Ebuntwaneni. Ubusha. Intsha».
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ubukhali balezi zinhlupheko bufiphazwa, kodwa ingabe zisishiya ngokuphelele? Okungenzeki: uma kungenjalo, izihlungi zezithombe ezithuthukisa ukubukeka bezingeke zidume kangaka. Njengokuhlinzwa kwepulasitiki.
Asiziboni njengoba sinjalo, futhi ngenxa yalokho sidinga ukugomela «Mina» ngokusebenzisa abanye.
Thina njalo subjective
Sikwazi kangakanani ukuzibona ngokwethu? Ingabe singazibona sisohlangothini njengoba sibona into yangaphandle? Kungase kubonakale sengathi sizazi kangcono kunanoma ubani. Nokho, ukuzibuka ngokungakhethi kuwumsebenzi cishe ongenakwenzeka. Umbono wethu uhlanekezelwa ukuqagela, izakhiwo, ukuhlukumezeka okwenzeka ebuntwaneni. "I" yethu ayifani.
“I-ego ihlale iyi-alter ego. Ngisho noma ngiziveza ngokuthi “mina”, ngihlukaniswa kuze kube phakade kimina,” kusho isazi se-psychoanalyst uJacques Lacan encwadini yakhe ethi Essays.1. - Ukusebenzelana nathi ngokwethu, nakanjani sibhekana nokuhlukana. Isibonelo esigqamayo isimo lapho umuntu ophethwe i-Alzheimer's eqhuba izingxoxo naye ngenkolelo yokuthi ubhekene nomunye umxhumanisi. Ekuqaleni kwekhulu lesi-XNUMX, udokotela wezinzwa nodokotela wezengqondo uPaul Solier wabhala ukuthi abanye besifazane abasebasha bayeka ukuzibona esibukweni ngesikhathi sokuhlaselwa okubuhlungu. Manje i-psychoanalysis ihumusha lokhu njengendlela yokuzivikela - ukwenqaba ukuxhumana neqiniso.
Ukuzibona kwethu okujwayelekile, okuzinzile noma okuncane kuwukwakhiwa kwengqondo, ukwakheka kwengqondo yethu.
Okunye ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa kungashintsha ukwazi kwethu kangangokuthi isiguli sibe nokungabaza ngobukhona baso noma sizizwe njengesithunjwa, sivalelwe emzimbeni ongaziwa.
Ukuhlanekezelwa kwengqondo okunjalo kuwumphumela wokugula noma ukushaqeka okukhulu. Kodwa ukuzibona kwethu okuzinzile noma okuncane esikujwayele kuwukwakheka kwengqondo, ukwakheka kwengqondo yethu. Ukwakhiwa kwengqondo okufanayo kuwukubonakaliswa esibukweni. Lokhu akusona isenzakalo esingokomzimba esingasizwa, kodwa ukuqagela kokuqaphela okunomlando wako siqu.
Uma uthi nhla
Umzimba wethu “wangempela” awuwona umzimba webhayoloji, onenhloso umuthi osebenza nawo, kodwa umqondo owakhiwa ngaphansi kwethonya lamagama nemibono yabantu abadala bokuqala ababesikhathalela.
“Kwesinye isikhathi, umntwana uyaqalaza. Futhi okokuqala - ebusweni bukanina. Abone ukuthi umbhekile. Ufunda ukuthi ungubani kuye. Futhi uphetha ngokuthi uma ebheka, uyabonakala. Ngakho likhona,” kubhala isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yezingane uDonald Winnicott.2. Ngakho-ke, ukubheka komunye, okuphendulelwe kithi, kwakhiwe esisekelweni sobuntu bethu. Ngokufanelekile, lokhu ukubukeka kothando. Kodwa empeleni lokhu akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi.
“Uma engibheka, umama wayevame ukuthi: “Uye ezihlotsheni zikayihlo”, futhi ngazizonda ngenxa yalokhu, ngoba ubaba washiya umndeni. Ebangeni lesihlanu, waphuca ikhanda lakhe ukuze angaboni izinwele zakhe ezigobile njengezakhe, "kusho uTatyana oneminyaka engu-34 ubudala.
Lowo abazali bakhe ababebukeka benengekile angase azibheke njengomuntu ongavamile isikhathi eside. Noma mhlawumbe ngokulangazela ukufuna rebuttals
Kungani abazali bengenabo umusa kithi ngaso sonke isikhathi? “Kuxhomeke ebuntwini babo siqu,” kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uGiorgi Natsvlishvili. — Izimfuno ezeqile zingabonwa, ngokwesibonelo, kumzali odidekile otshela ingane ukuthi: “Qaphela, kuyingozi yonke indawo, wonke umuntu ufuna ukukukhohlisa .... Anjani amamaki akho? Kodwa umzukulu kamakhelwane uletha ezinhlanu kuphela!
Ngakho-ke ingane inokukhathazeka, ukungabaza ukuthi muhle ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba. Futhi umzali we-narcissistic, ngokuvamile umama, ubona ingane njengesandiso sakhe, ngakho-ke noma yimaphi amaphutha engane abangela intukuthelo noma ukwesaba kwakhe, ngoba abonisa ukuthi yena ngokwakhe akaphelele futhi othile angayibona.
Lowo abazali bakhe ababebukeka benengekile angase azibheke njengomuntu ongavamile isikhathi eside. Noma mhlawumbe ubheke ngokulangazela ukuphikiswa, ukubopha izindaba eziningi zothando ukuze uqiniseke ngokukhanga kwazo, nokuthumela izithombe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana eziqoqa ukuthandwa. “Ngivame ukuhlangana nokufuna imvume kumakhasimende ami, futhi laba abafana namantombazane angaphansi kweminyaka engu-30 ubudala,” kuqhuba uGiorgi Natsvlishvili. Kodwa isizathu asikho ngaso sonke isikhathi emndenini. Kunombono wokuthi ukunemba kwabazali kuyabulala, kodwa empeleni, izindaba ezinjalo zingavela ngaphandle kokubamba iqhaza kwabo. Indawo edinga kakhulu."
Ama-conductor alokhu kunganaki kokubili amasiko abantu abaningi - cabanga ngamamuvi wesenzo nemidlalo enamaqhawe anamandla namamagazini emfashini anamamodeli azacile ngokwedlulele - kanye nombuthano ongaphakathi, ofunda nabo kanye nabangane.
I-Mirror Curves
Akukhona ukubonakaliswa esikubona esibukweni noma ezithombeni okungabhekwa njengento engokoqobo engokoqobo, ngoba nje sizibuka ngombono othile, okuthonywa imibono (kuhlanganise nokungavezwanga ngokuzwakalayo) yabantu abadala ababalulekile bobuntwana bethu. , bese kuba abangani, othisha, ozakwethu, sibe nethonya kanye nemibono yethu siqu. Kodwa futhi zakhiwe ngaphansi kwethonya lomphakathi namasiko, zinikeza izibonelo, nazo ezishintshayo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Yingakho ukuzethemba ezimele ngokuphelele, «Mina», ngaphandle admixtures of ithonya labanye abantu, kuyinto utopia. Akukona nje ukuqondana ukuthi amaBuddha acabangele owabo «I» njengenkohliso.
Asizazi kangako njengoba siqagela, siqoqa ulwazi lapho kunesidingo, siqhathanisa nabanye, silalela ukuhlola. Akumangazi ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi senza amaphutha ngisho nakuleyo mingcele engalinganiswa ngobuqotho. Sekusondele ihlobo, kuyaphawuleka ukuthi abesifazane abaningi bahamba begqoke izingubo ezingalingani, begqoke izimbadada lapho iminwe iphuma khona ... Ngokusobala, esibukweni babona inguqulo encane noma encane yabo. Lokhu kuyisivikelo eqinisweni: ubuchopho bushelela izikhathi ezingajabulisi, buvikela i-psyche ekuphatheni kabi.
Ubuchopho benza okufanayo ngezinhlangothi ezingathandeki zobuntu: bubenza bushelelezi ekubukeni kwethu, futhi asiboni, isibonelo, ukudelela kwethu, ukhahlo, ukumangala ukusabela kwalabo abasizungezile, esibabheka njengokuthinta noma ongabekezeleli.
U-Leo Tolstoy kule noveli wabiza le ncwadi kanje: "ingxoxo ngokwakho, nalowo weqiniso, uqobo lwaphezulu ohlala kuwo wonke umuntu."
Ukuzibona kwethu kuhlanekezelwa isifiso sethu sokuthola ukuvunyelwa umphakathi. UCarl Jung wabiza imaski enjalo yezenhlalo ngokuthi "Persona": asizinaki izimfuno zethu "Mina", ukuzinqumela ngesimo, izinga lomholo, amadiploma, umshado noma izingane. Uma kwenzeka ukuthi i-facade yempumelelo iwa futhi kuvele ukuthi kukhona ukungabi nalutho ngemuva kwayo, ukushaqeka okungathi sína kungase kusilindele.
Ngokuvamile endaweni yokwamukela izivakashi, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sibuza umbuzo ofanayo: "Uyini?" Ngokuphindaphindiwe, ufuna ukuthi sizichaze nge-epithets ehlukene, senqaba ukwamukela izindima zomphakathi kulo mkhakha: ufuna ukuba singazibizi ngokuthi "izisebenzi zasehhovisi ezinhle" kanye "nabazali abakhathalelayo", kodwa sizame ukuhlukanisa imibono yethu mayelana ngokwethu, isibonelo : «irascible», «uhlobo», «funa».
Idayari yomuntu siqu ingafeza injongo efanayo. U-Leo Tolstoy encwadini ethi "Uvuko" ubiza idayari kanje: "ingxoxo nawe, naleyo qiniso, ubuyena bukaNkulunkulu obuhlala kuwo wonke umuntu."
Isidingo sababukeli
Uma sizazi kancane, sidinga kakhulu ababukeli ukuthi basinikeze impendulo. Mhlawumbe yingakho uhlobo lwesimanje lwe-self-portrait, i-selfie, luye lwazuza ukuthandwa okunjalo. Kulokhu, umuntu othwetshulwayo kanye nomuntu othwebulayo bangumuntu ofanayo, ngakho sizama ukuthwebula iqiniso lobuntu bethu ... noma okungenani ukudlulisa umbono wethu ngathi.
Kodwa futhi kuwumbuzo kwabanye: "Ingabe uyavuma ukuthi nginje?"
Ukuzama ukuziveza ngendlela evumayo, kubonakala sengathi sicela imvume yokwenza isithombe esifanelekile sibe semthethweni. Ngisho noma sizibamba ezimweni ezihlekisayo, isifiso sisafana: ukuthola ukuthi sinjani.
Izwe lobuchwepheshe likuvumela ukuthi uphile enaliti yemvume yababukeli iminyaka. Nokho, ingabe kubi kakhulu ukuzicabangela wena ngokwakho?
Nakuba ukuhlola kwangaphandle kungenanhloso nhlobo, phela abanye baba namathonya ahlukene. Emibhalweni yesiJapane yenkathi ye-Edo, ubuhle bafaka upende omnyama emazinyweni abo. Futhi uma uDanae kaRembrandt egqoke izingubo zesimanje, ubani ongabuncoma ubuhle bakhe? Okubonakala kukuhle kumuntu oyedwa kungase kungamjabulisi ngempela omunye.
Kodwa ngokuqoqa ukuthandwa okuningi, singaziqinisekisa ukuthi okungenani abantu abaningi besikhathi sethu bayasithanda. URenata oneminyaka engu-23 uyavuma: “Ngithumela izithombe nsuku zonke, ngezinye izikhathi izikhathi ezimbalwa, futhi ngibheke ngabomvu ukuthola impendulo. "Ngidinga lokhu ukuze ngizizwe sengathi ngiyaphila nokuthi kukhona okwenzekayo kimi."
Izwe lobuchwepheshe likuvumela ukuthi uphile enaliti yemvume yababukeli iminyaka. Nokho, ingabe kubi kakhulu ukuzicabangela wena ngokwakho? Ucwaningo oluningi lubonisa ukuthi labo abenza lokhu bajabula kakhulu kunalabo abazama ukuzigxeka.
1 UJacques-Marie-Émile Lacan Essay amaphuzu (Le Seuil, 1975).
2 "Indima Yesibuko Somama Nomndeni," ku-Game and Reality kaDonald W. Winnicott (Isikhungo Sezifundo Zobuntu Jikelele, 2017).