Okuqukethwe
Eminyakeni eyi-10-12, ingane iyayeka ukusizwa. Ngokuvamile asazi ukuthi ufunani, wenzani, ucabangani — futhi siyesaba ukuphuthelwa amasignali e-alamu. Yini ekuvimbela ukuthi uthintane?
1. Kukhona izinguquko ezingeni le-physiological
Nakuba ngokuvamile ubuchopho bukhiwa eminyakeni engu-12, le nqubo iqedwa ngokuphelele ngemva kwamashumi amabili. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ama-lobes angaphambili e-cortex, izindawo zobuchopho ezilawula ama-impulses ethu futhi zinesibopho sokukwazi ukuhlela ikusasa, ziqhubeka nokuthuthukisa isikhathi eside kakhulu.
Kodwa kusukela eminyakeni engu-12, izindlala zocansi "zivuliwe". Ngenxa yalokho, osemusha akakwazi ukulawula ukuguquguquka kwemizwelo okubangelwa izivunguvungu zama-hormone, isazi sezinzwa uDavid Servan-Schreiber waphikisa encwadini ethi “The Body Loves the Truth”1.
2. Thina ngokwethu sandisa ubunzima bokuxhumana.
Lapho sikhuluma nentsha, singenwa umoya wokuziphikisa. "Kodwa umntwana uzifunela yena kuphela, ukuzivocavoca, futhi ubaba, isibonelo, usevele elwa ngobuqotho, esebenzisa wonke amandla okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe namandla," kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esikhona uSvetlana Krivtsova.
Isibonelo esiphambene yilapho, bezama ukuvikela ingane emaphutheni, abazali beveza okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kwentsha kuye. Kodwa-ke, okuhlangenwe nakho kuphela kukodwa kungasiza ukuthuthukiswa.
3. Sifuna ukumenzela umsebenzi wakhe.
“Ingane iyaphila. Udinga ukuthuthukisa "I" yakhe, ukuze abone futhi avumele imingcele yakhe. Futhi abazali bakhe bafuna ukumenzela lo msebenzi,” kuchaza uSvetlana Krivtsova.
Yiqiniso, osemusha umelene nakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, namuhla abazali basakaza enganeni imiyalezo engaqondakali okusobala ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuyifeza: “Jabula! Thola into oyithandayo!» Kodwa akakwazi ukwenza lokhu, kuyena lokhu kuwumsebenzi ongenakwenzeka, i-psychotherapist ikholelwa.
4. Singaphansi kwenganekwane yokuthi intsha ayinaki abantu abadala.
Ucwaningo lwezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo eNyuvesi yase-Illinois (USA) lubonise ukuthi intsha ayiphikisani nje nokunakwa kwabazali, kodwa, ngokuphambene nalokho, ikwazisa kakhulu.2. Umbuzo uthi sikukhombisa kanjani lokhu kunaka.
“Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi yini ebakhathazayo ngaphambi kokuphonsa wonke amandla okufundisa kulokho okusikhathazayo. Nokubekezela nothando okwengeziwe,” kubhala uDavid Servan-Schreiber.
1 D. Servan-Schreiber «Umzimba uthanda iqiniso» (Ripol classic, 2014).
2 J. Caughlin, R. Malis «Funa/Hoxisa Ukuxhumana Phakathi Kwabazali Nentsha: Ukuxhumana Nokuzethemba Nokusetshenziswa Kwezidakamizwa, Ijenali Yobudlelwane Bomphakathi Nobuntu, 2004.