Ukulalela izimangalo zendoda ethandekayo kungase kube okungajabulisi kakhulu. Ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa enkomishini yekhofi engenacala enkampanini yomngane omdala. Kungani amadoda evame ukungayithandi le mibuthano yabesifazane? Besabani? Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uGalina Turetskaya uyachaza.
Ngenkathi siphuza ngokuthula i-morning yethu i-Americano endaweni yokucima ukoma, mina nomngane wami saqala ukukhuluma ngokuthi iholide lethu ndawonye, ngaphandle kwamadoda, laliyi-godsend. Futhi ngeke sifune ukuba sesimweni lapho kufanele sikhethe phakathi kokuthula emkhayeni kanye nenjabulo elula yokukhulumisana nabangane. Kungani amadoda nezintombi zethu, njengeMpumalanga neNtshonalanga, bengakwazi ukuzwana ndawonye. Le ngxoxo ibe mnandi.
Uke waqaphela yini ukuthi iningi lamadoda, okungcono kakhulu, liyazehlisa ukwamukela iqiniso lokuthi owesifazane udinga intombi futhi, lapho kukhulunywa ngezintombi, abhonge ngendlela yenja edlule isifundo, kodwa namanje ayifuni ukwabelana ngethambo? Futhi ngokushesha noma kamuva, siyayeka ukudalula le ngxenye ebalulekile yokuphila kwethu wesifazane kuye, bese lokhu kuphila kuphenduka kuphaphatheke futhi kunciphe ngesikhumba esiluhlaza, noma kube inhlabathi evundile ethela izithelo ezicebile ezivela embewini yezinsolo zakhe. Kodwa konke kwaqala ngokungenacala!
Ngemva kokuhlolisisa okuhlangenwe nakho kwethu siqu, sikhumbula izintombi nabangane, izihlobo zabo, abasebenza nabo kanye nomakhelwane, sifike ezibalweni ezingase zibonakale zinempikiswano, kodwa lokhu akubalulekile kangako: Amaphesenti angama-80 amadoda asesimweni sokucasha noma sokucasha. ukucekela phansi ukuxhumana kwamakhosikazi nezintombi zawo, ikakhulukazi abangashadile nabaphumelele emphakathini.
Ngobulungisa, kufanele kushiwo ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi indoda ilungile impela ekwahluleleni kwayo mayelana nezintombi zethu, kodwa lokhu akusivimbeli ukuba sibathande, futhi lapho bethandana, abasahluleli. Kodwa ezimweni eziningi, ukungathandi kwendoda nokuxwaya izintombi zayo akunangqondo neze. Ubona kuzo usongo ekukhetheni kwakhe yedwa kanye nokuzinza kwe-oda lomhlaba wasekhaya.
Uma ukuphila kungixilonga “ngokuthanda okubi” futhi, ngiyazi ukuthi abangani bami abalwayo abazongisiza ngivuke ekuthathekeni ngokweqile.
Izintombi zingabahlukumezi baphakade, abahloli bezincwadi nabahloli. Indoda iqagela ukuthi ubudoda buthathwa ukuze buhlaziywe yizintombi zayo, njengomkhandlu we-dissertation. Ngezinye izikhathi ngamancoko, ngezinye izikhathi ngokungenasihawu, siyahlukanisa, sibuyekeze izimpilo zomuntu siqu zomunye nomunye, futhi ukuvota ngamabhola amnyama noma amhlophe kungaba okubaluleke kakhulu kothile. Kulokhu kuphela lowo ongenele ukhetho engekho futhi ancishwe ithuba lokuzivikela.
Ngakho-ke, amadoda ahlakaniphile awazithukutheli izintombi zethu, futhi ngezinye izikhathi azidlalela ipayipi ngendlela ye-fakir egqoke isigqoko samaHindu nezicathulo ezinezinzwane ezigobile. Futhi amadoda angenalo ulwazi olwanele asibeka ngaphambi kokuzikhethela. Iqiniso elilula «Ngitshele ukuthi ungubani umngane wakho futhi ngizokutshela ukuthi ungubani» liqondwa ngendlela ehlukile amadoda nabesifazane.
Owesifazane, othanda indoda futhi amukele ukuphila kwakhe nendawo ezungezile, ubona kubangane bakhe izimfanelo ezinhle kakhulu zothandiweyo wakhe. Phela siyaqonda ukuthi kusamele sabelane nabanye ngakho makube ngabantu abafanelekile. Indoda yehlulela owesifazane ngabangane bayo. Lapho umunwe wakhe wokumbeka icala, yazi ukuthi zona kanye izimfanelo azithole kuye, uzidlulisela kuwena.
Ngakho-ke ukukhetha ngokweqile lapho, kubonakala sengathi, yini ayikhathalelayo. Umbuthano oshisa izikhotha wamadoda ezimangalela izintombi zethu: izinto ezingenangqondo, ukumosha, ukuhlakanipha okuphansi .... uhlu lungaqhutshekwa, futhi, vele, ukuxega kuyakuthwesa umqhele. Misa isifiso sakho sokujaha ukuvikela umngane wakho. Esikhundleni salokho, bhekisisa othandekayo wakho: njengoba wazi, babona kwabanye lokho abangakuboni kubo.
Ebusheni bami, ngalahlekelwa umngane, nginqotshwa iziphakamiso ezingabonakali, kodwa eziqhubekayo zobumnandi, othandekayo, othandekayo, oyedwa kuphela. Ekhuthele, ephumelelayo ngokwenhlalo nangokwezimali, ekhululekile, wayebonakala eyiphupho lakhe elibi - kodwa kuthiwani uma ukunambitheka kwe-tart kokunye impilo yakhe kukhanga kakhulu kimi kunomhlaba ohleliwe weKhrushchev yethu? Futhi wayenomona ngokuphelele ngami ngenxa yesikhathi esidlule esivamile naye, lapho kwakungekho khona, kodwa kwakukhona uchoko lwentsha yesikhungo.
Sengibuyela ekhaya ngemva kwemibuthano yamantombazane, ngacabanga ukuthi yiziphi izindaba engizomtshela umyeni wami nokuthi yini okufanele ngithule, futhi angizange ngizithande ngalobu buzenzisi. Ukusindisa izinzwa zami, ekuqaleni ngayeka ukukhuluma ngomngane wami nje jikelele, ngase ngiyeka ukuqomisana.
Ngenhlanhla, leli phutha lalungiswa: umngane wami wangibamba ezingalweni zakhe, ngase ngivalelisa endodeni ngedwa, futhi ukunambitheka kwe-tart kwenye impilo kwakungahlangene nhlobo nakho. Ngolunye usuku nje, ukungabaza kwakhe nokuziqinisekisa kwakhe kohlobo “kanye namagilebhisi aluhlaza ...” kungazelelwe kwaba buthakathaka kwaze kwaba seqophelweni lokungenzeki ngokuphelele lokuhlalisana.
Ngitshele ukuthi ubani umuntu wakho futhi ngizokutshela ukuthi ungubani. Futhi uma impilo iphinda ingixilonga “ngokuthanda okubi”, ngiyazi-ke ukuthi yizintombi ezilwayo ezizongisiza ngivuke ekuthathekeni. Sihleleke kangangokuthi silwela ukuvulela othandekayo umnyango wethu wangaphakathi, futhi izintombi zethu zinendawo enkulu lapho. Kwesinye isikhathi ngisho nami ngithuswa yizinga lokusondelana esikulungele ukuhamba lapho sixoxa ngempilo yethu yocansi namadoda. Yimiphi-ke imizwa okufanele ivuse lokhu kumaqhawe anoveli yethu?
Mhlawumbe, amamitha-skwele omphefumulo, kanye nama-square metres efulethini, nawo anomkhawulo, futhi indoda, ngaphezu kwendawo yayo, iphinde ihlale endaweni eseduze.
Kodwa sidlulela phambili - sihilela amadoda kulokhu kuxabana okuseduze, sihlanganyele izimpilo zomuntu siqu zezintombi zethu nazo, sizame ukuqhuba inkhulumomphendvulwano nabo ngokwemithetho efanayo, noma kunalokho ngaphandle kwemithetho, futhi siyacasulwa ukungaqondi kwabo. Mhlawumbe lokhu kuyimpande yenkinga «amadoda kanye / noma intombi»? Indlela yokuyixazulula? Yiqiniso, asizange siyithole iresiphi yenkomishi yesibili noma yesithathu yekhofi. Kodwa ukube ubukhona, bekuzohlanganisa ukuhloniphana.
Angifuni ukuthi: ngithande, thanda nomngane wami. Lokhu kuyinketho, futhi kuzwakala kungenangqondo. Kodwa ukuhlonipha ubungane bethu, izindinganiso zethu ezivamile kanye nezithakazelo zethu, awuphoqelekile nje kuphela, kodwa ubophekile kabili. Lezi zifana nezidingo eziphoqelekile zomuntu ozobhapathizwa lapho efaka isicelo somsebenzi: umuntu omuhle akayena umsebenzi uma udinga uchwepheshe onokuhlangenwe nakho onemfundo ekhethekile nolwazi lwesiNgisi. Futhi ngiyazibophezela ukugcina ubukhosi bezifunda ezingomakhelwane - ubudlelwano nendoda yami nezintombi zami.
Ngikholelwa ukuthi indoda iyakwazi ukusiqonda isidingo sethu sokukhulumisana nezintombi uma ichazelwa kahle incazelo yefomu. Sisehluke kakhulu, futhi ifomu liyamcasula.
Wonke lawa mahora amaningi okukhuluma, ukuthenga, ukugcoba okungenangqondo kwezinyembezi kanye ne-snot, okungagcini nganoma yini eyakhayo, kodwa ngemva kwalokho ukuphila kuphinde kube nokubekezeleleka ekuqaleni, bese kumangalisa, lawa amaholide akhululekile, lapho kuphela ngemva kwesonto izingxoxo ezijabulile amakhefu amafushane aqala ukuvela kuzo, futhi noma kunjalo ngoba ukuthula okuhlangene nakho kunomphumela wokwelapha ... Akaqondi, kodwa uzozama.
Amanye amadoda azothi: "Izintombi zimbi." Othile, ethumele umkakhe ekhofi nabangane, uhlikihla izandla ngenjabulo elindele iphathi yobhiya. Othile ngomqondo omuhle akanandaba nobani nokuthi yiziphi izinto owesifazane wakhe achitha isikhathi, uyazethemba, futhi ukuzethemba nokwethemba kungamazwi empande efanayo. Mhlawumbe indoda enjalo ngeke inake iholide nentombi olwandle, ngoba inhlangano yayo yokuqala izoba ulwandle, ilanga nengxoxo yesifazane ngesikhathi sokwelashwa kwe-spa, hhayi ubuhle be-resort ezintambo.
Kodwa ngizogwema uvivinyo olunjalo lokuzethemba, ukuze ngolunye usuku angeke angibeke ngaphambi kohambo oluzimele oluya endaweni yokuphumula. Kuvele ukuthi iholidi nentombi kusazomele kwenziwe umhlatshelo. Angiwuthandi ngempela umqondo wokudela noma yini - hhayi ngenxa yendoda, noma ngokomthetho. Ngezikhathi lapho amadoda ethatha indawo eqinile empilweni yami, ukuxhumana nabangane-izintombi ngokwemvelo kwancishiswa kwaba kuncane, futhi angikhumbuli ukuthi ngahlushwa yilokhu.
Mhlawumbe, amamitha-skwele omphefumulo, kanye namamitha-skwele efulethini, nawo anqunyelwe, futhi indoda, ngaphezu kwendawo yayo, iphinde ihlale nomakhelwane. Leyo yindawo nje yentombi yangempela okuthakaselayo ukuthi ihambe iphelele - lokhu kuyingxenye yemfihlakalo eyenza sibe abantu besifazane. Kunesilingo sokuphetha ngebinzana elithi: amadoda ayafika aphinde ahambe, kodwa izintombi zihlala. Kodwa akunjalo. Siyaphila, futhi siyashintsha, futhi ngezinye izikhathi sihlukana nabangane, njengabesilisa.
Ukusondelana kungumqondo ongaphezu kokwehluka ngokobulili, futhi kungokwendingilizi encane yamanani ama-XNUMX buXNUMXb engizowavikela kuze kube sekugcineni, ngoba ukuphila ngaphandle kwawo akunangqondo futhi akunanjongo. Ngizokuvikela kokubili ukusondelana nomngane nokusondelana nendoda, ngisho noma kufanele ngibavikele komunye nomunye. Futhi ake ukusabela kwendoda ezintwenimbi zakhe kube ukuhlolwa kwe-litmus ekuhlolweni kokuhloniphana nokwamukela izithakazelo zomunye nomunye, ngakho-ke, ngenxa yamandla obudlelwane.