Asicabangi ukuthi izingane zineqiniso lazo, zizizwa ngendlela ehlukile, zibona umhlaba ngendlela yazo. Futhi lokhu kufanele kucatshangelwe uma sifuna ukuxhumana kahle nengane, kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Erica Reischer.
Ngokuvamile kubonakala kithi ukuthi amazwi ethu enganeni ayibinzana elingenalutho, futhi akukho ukuncenga okusebenzayo kuye. Kodwa zama ukubheka isimo ngeso lezingane...
Eminyakeni embalwa edlule ngasibona leso simo. Ubaba wafika enkanjini yezingane ezofuna indodakazi yakhe. Intombazane yadlala ngentshiseko nezinye izingane futhi, isabela emazwini kayise, “Sekuyisikhathi sokuhamba,” yathi: “Angifuni! Ngijabule kakhulu lapha!» Ubaba wenqaba: “Usuhlale usuku lonke. Sekwanele". Yacasuka le ntombazane yaphinde yasho ukuthi ayifuni ukuhamba. Baqhubeka nokuhilizisana waze wagcina eseyibambe ngesandla uyise wayongena nayo emotweni.
Kwakubonakala sengathi indodakazi yayingafuni ukuzwa izingxabano. Kwadingeka bahambe ngempela, kodwa wenqaba. Kodwa uyise akazange acabangele neyodwa into. Izincazelo, ukukholisa akusebenzi, ngoba abantu abadala abacabangi ukuthi ingane ineqiniso layo, futhi ayihloniphi.
Kubalulekile ukukhombisa inhlonipho ngemizwa yengane kanye nombono wakhe oyingqayizivele wezwe.
Ukuhlonipha iqiniso lomntwana kusho ukuthi siyamvumela ukuba azizwe, acabange, abone indawo ezungezile ngendlela yakhe. Kungase kubonakale sengathi akukho lutho oluyinkimbinkimbi? Kodwa kuze kufike kithina ukuthi "ngendlela yethu" kusho ukuthi "asifani nathi." Yilapho abazali abaningi beqala khona ukuphendukela ezinsongweni, ukusebenzisa amandla nokukhipha imiyalo.
Enye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokwakha ibhuloho phakathi kweqiniso lethu nelengane iwukubonisa uzwela enganeni.
Lokhu kusho ukuthi sibonisa inhlonipho ngemizwa yengane kanye nombono wakhe oyingqayizivele ngezwe. Ukuthi siyamlalela ngempela futhi siqonde (noma okungenani sizame ukuqonda) umbono wakhe.
Uzwela lulawula imizwa enamandla eyenza ingane ingazamukeli izincazelo. Yingakho imizwa iphumelela lapho isizathu sihluleka. Ukukhuluma ngokuqinile, igama elithi "uzwela" lisikisela ukuthi sizwelane nesimo somzwelo somunye umuntu, ngokuphambene nozwela, okusho ukuthi siyayiqonda imizwa yomunye umuntu. Lapha sikhuluma ngozwelo ngomqondo obanzi njengokugxila emizweni yomunye, kungaba ngozwela, ukuqonda noma uzwelo.
Sitshela ingane ukuthi ingakwazi ukubhekana nobunzima, kodwa empeleni siphikisana neqiniso layo.
Isikhathi esiningi asiqapheli ukuthi asihloniphi iqiniso lomntwana noma sibonisa ukungahloniphi umbono wakhe. Esibonelweni sethu, ubaba wayengabonisa uzwela zisuka nje. Lapho indodakazi ithi ayifuni ukuhamba, yayingase iphendule: “Mntanami, ngibona kahle ukuthi ujabule kakhulu lapha futhi awufuni ngempela ukuhamba (uzwela). Ngiyaxolisa. Kodwa phela umama usilindele isidlo sakusihlwa, futhi kungaba kubi ukuthi sifike sekwephuzile (incazelo). Ngicela uvalelise kubangani bakho bese upakisha izinto zakho (isicelo)».
Esinye isibonelo ngesihloko esifanayo. Umfundi webanga lokuqala uhlezi esabelweni sezibalo, kusobala ukuthi isifundo akasinikwanga, futhi ingane, icasukile, ithi: “Ngeke ngikwazi!” Abazali abaningi abanezisusa ezinhle bayophikisa: “Yebo, ungenza konke! Ake ngikutshele…”
Sithi uzobhekana nobunzima, efuna ukumgqugquzela. Sinezinhloso ezinhle kakhulu, kodwa empeleni sikhuluma ukuthi isipiliyoni sakhe "akulungile", okungukuthi siphikisana neqiniso lakhe. Ngokuxakayo, lokhu kubangela ukuthi ingane iphikelele enguqulweni yayo: «Cha, angikwazi!» Izinga lokukhungatheka likhuphuka: uma ekuqaleni umntwana ecasulwa ubunzima benkinga, manje ucasulwa ukuthi akaqondi.
Kungcono kakhulu uma sibonisa uzwela: “Sithandwa, ngiyabona ukuthi awuphumeleli, kunzima kuwe ukuxazulula inkinga manje. Ake ngikugone. Ngikhombise lapho ubhajwe khona. Mhlawumbe singaqhamuka nesixazululo ngandlela thize. Izibalo zibonakala zinzima kuwe manje. Kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi ungayithola."
Vumela izingane zizwe futhi zibone umhlaba ngendlela yazo, ngisho noma ungawuqondi noma ungavumelani nazo.
Naka umehluko ocashile, kodwa oyisisekelo: "Ngicabanga ukuthi ungakwazi" nokuthi "Ungakwazi." Esimweni sokuqala, uveza umbono wakho; okwesibili, ugomela njengeqiniso elingephikiswe into ephikisana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwengane.
Abazali kufanele bakwazi «isibuko» imizwa yengane futhi babonise uzwela kuye. Lapho uveza ukungavumelani, zama ukwenza kanjalo ngendlela ebonisa ukubaluleka kokuhlangenwe nakho komntwana ngesikhathi esifanayo. Ungavezi umbono wakho njengeqiniso elingephikiswe.
Qhathanisa ukusabela okubili okungenzeka emazwini omntwana: “Akukho lutho olujabulisayo kuleli paki! Angithandi lapha!»
Inketho yokuqala: “Ipaki elihle kakhulu! Ilungile njengaleyo esivame ukuya kuyo." Okwesibili: “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi awukuthandi. Futhi ngiphambene. Ngicabanga ukuthi abantu abahlukene bathanda izinto ezihlukile."
Impendulo yesibili iqinisekisa ukuthi imibono ingahluka, kuyilapho eyokuqala igcizelela umbono owodwa oqondile (owakho).
Ngendlela efanayo, uma ingane icasulwe okuthile, khona-ke ukuhlonipha iqiniso layo kusho ukuthi esikhundleni semisho enjengokuthi “Ungakhali!” noma “Hhayi-ke, konke kuhamba kahle” (ngalawa mazwi uphika imizwa yakhe okwamanje) uzothi, isibonelo: “Ucasukile manje.” Okokuqala vumela izingane zizizwe futhi zibone umhlaba ngendlela yazo, ngisho noma ungawuqondi noma ungavumelani nawo. Futhi ngemva kwalokho, zama ukubancenga.
Mayelana Nombhali: U-Erika Reischer ungudokotela wezengqondo futhi ungumbhali wencwadi yabazali ethi Okwenziwa Abazali Abakhulu: 75 Amasu Alula Okukhulisa Izingane Eziphumelelayo.