Okuqukethwe
Ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi le ndoda iyahamba? Zonke izingxoxo zehlela ekuxoxeni ngezinhlelo ze-TV nemisebenzi yasekhaya? Ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi umlingani wakho akanandaba nokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye? Lokhu kuziphatha kungase kube uphawu lokulahlekelwa isithandwa ebudlelwaneni bakho. Sikutshela indlela yokuqonda ukuthi indoda ilahlekelwa isithakazelo, nendlela yokuziphatha ukuze imbuyisele.
Ukuqhelelana ngokomzwelo kuvamile ebudlelwaneni. Njengomthetho, ikhula kancane, ngakho-ke kulula ukuyikhumbula kuze kube yilapho ibanga phakathi kwakho likhulu.
Ziningi izizathu zokuhoxa emoyeni, ezinye zazo okungenzeka zihlobene nophathina wakho kanti ezinye zihlobene nawe. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Guy Winch sigqamisa izizathu ezivamile zokuthi kungani umlingani wakho angase ahoxe ngokomzwelo futhi akutshele ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma indoda iphelelwe isithakazelo.
6 izizathu zokuthi kungani indoda ihambe
1. Umgomo ufinyelelwe
Uma kukhulunywa ngokusondelana ngokomzimba, akuvamile ukuthi abesifazane nabesilisa baziphathe ngendlela ephambene. Abesifazane bazizwa bexhumene kakhulu ngokomzwelo nokukhangwa. Nakuba uthando lwamanye amadoda luphela kalula - ikakhulukazi ngemva kokusondelana kokuqala. Lokhu kuholela abaningi ekuzibuzeni: kungani amadoda elahlekelwa isithakazelo ngemva kocansi?
Impendulo ilula, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uMark Rosenfeld. "Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi indoda iziphatha kanjani ngaphambi kobulili bokuqala, isizathu sangempela sokuthi kungani elahlekelwa isithakazelo ngemuva kokuthi azizwa ekhanga ngokwanele "okungezona ngokomzimba" kuwe," uchwepheshe uyaqiniseka.
Impela kukhona uhlobo lwamadoda ahloselwe ukusondelana nowesifazane kuphela. Uma insizwa ekuqaleni yayingenasithakazelo kuwe njengomuntu, akufanele ukhathazeke ngayo!
2. Fisa ukuba wedwa nawe
Imibhangqwana eminingi, ikakhulukazi leyo enezingane ezincane, ayinaso isikhathi sayo. Abanye abantu bazama ukuzehlukanisa ngokufaka ama-headphone noma bacime ngokucwila ezinhlelweni ze-TV noma kumafoni abo. Uma lokhu kuyindaba yakho, inkambo engcono kakhulu yokwenza iwukuba ubuze umlingani wakho ukuthi unesidingo yini sokuba yedwa, futhi nixoxe ukuthi ningasichitha kanjani futhi nini isikhathi ningekho ndawonye. Kungcono uma isivumelwano sivumelana futhi ube nesikhathi sakho.
3. Ukucindezeleka kuyimbangela
Abantu bavame ukuphendula emazingeni aphezulu okucindezeleka nokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo ngokuhoxa. Indlela yokuziphatha esimweni esinjalo? Uma kunezingcindezi ezisobala empilweni yomlingani wakho noma empilweni yomuntu siqu, uGuy Winch weluleka ngokubuza ukuthi ubhekana kanjani nesimo, uma kunjalo. Kufanele uxoxe ngezinketho zokunciphisa noma ukubhekana nokucindezeleka. Uma ucabanga ukuthi indoda ingase icindezeleke, phakamisa ngobumnene ukuthi ibonane nochwepheshe.
4. Imizwa ayifani
Ingabe umlingani wakho akabeki isikhathi nomzamo ebudlelwaneni ngendlela abeyenza ngayo? Ukugwema ukusondelana? Awuqondi ukuthi kwenzekeni? Ungaqali ukulwa, kunalokho khetha isikhathi sokukhuluma. Ungakwenzi lokhu ngokuzenzakalelayo ukuze indoda ikwazi ukuzilungiselela ngokwengqondo ingxoxo yobudlelwano.
Mbuze ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngawe nokuthi zikhona yini izinto angathanda ukuzishintsha ukuze azizwe ejabule. Ngaphambi kokuphendula, qiniseka ukuthi uqonda ngokugcwele umbono wakhe (lokhu kunzima, kodwa kubalulekile). Uma engazimisele noma engakwazi ukuxoxa ngezindlela zokuvuselela ubuhlobo, ungase uthande ukunikeza imibhangqwana ukwelashwa.
5. Umjikelezo wokugwema
Indoda icabanga ukuthi uncike kuyo, ngakho ithatha igxathu elibuyela emuva, okukwenza uzizwe ukhathazekile futhi wesaba. Le mizwa idala isifiso sokuthola ukuthi yini engalungile ngokushesha, okuphoqa umlingani ukuthi athathe elinye igxathu emuva, eliqhubeka nomjikelezo kuphela.
Ukuze unqume ukuthi lezi zinguquko ziyimbangela enkingeni yobudlelwano, thatha isinyathelo sesikhashana futhi "udinga" indoda kancane kancane - okungenani isonto lonke. Uma umlingani wakho ephendula ngokufudumeza futhi abe nentshisekelo kakhudlwana futhi engeneka, manje usuyazi ukuthi ungawunqamula kanjani lo mbuthano ononya.
6. Umjikelezo wokugxekwa nokumiswa
Ukuqhelelana ngokomzwelo kusuka kumlingani ngokuvamile kubangela ubuhlungu obukhulu. Ungasabela kuye ngokugxeka noma ngokucasuka, njalo ubonisa ukucasuka kwakho kumlingani wakho.
Kulokhu, indoda ingase ihoxise nakakhulu, ngoba izosaba ukuthi noma yimiphi imizamo yokusebenzisana izoholela ekugxekeni nakakhulu kuye. Ukuze unqamule lo mjikelezo, qiniseka ukuthi ukuxhumana kwakho nomlingani wakho kulandela umthetho we-80-20: okungenani amaphesenti angu-80 okuxhumana kwakho kufanele angathathi hlangothi noma ahle, futhi amaphesenti angu-20 kuphela angalungile.
Kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu, khuluma! Ungaqali izingxabano, ungashayi izitsha, ungazifaki emicabangweni yakho. Nakuba uxoxa nabangani bakho phezu inkomishi yekhofi okuyinto abesifazane indoda ukulahlekelwa isithakazelo, ungakwazi ngokushesha kakhulu ube omunye wabo. Ungesabi ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kumlingani wakho, kodwa kwenze ngokuzibamba. Futhi khumbula, isizathu sokulahlekelwa isithakazelo, ukuhoxiswa noma ukuhoxiswa ngokomzwelo kwendoda kungaba yinoma yini, hhayi wena kuphela. Ngakho zama njalo ukuqonda umlingani wakho ngaphambi kokugxumela esiphethweni.