Okuqukethwe
Ukhuluma ngothando lwakhe olusha ngamehlo avuthayo, futhi uba nokukhathazeka okwengeziwe? I-intuition yakho ithi: othandekayo usengozini! Kodwa ngeke udlule kuye ngenkathi ekhangwa umlingani omusha. Kungaba kanjani?
Ubuhle bomashiqela benza isisulu sobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo njengokubulala izinzwa okuncane. Esiphithiphithini se-adrenaline sothando, akabuzwa ubuhlungu, akayiboni inkinga, akakwazi ukuhlola isimo ngendlela efanele.
Kodwa izisulu eziseduze zilubona ngokushesha usongo. Izintelezi zomhlukumezi zibathinta kancane, futhi bazizwa belahlekelwe: umuntu ababemazi futhi bemthanda uba nomehluko kulobu budlelwano, ulahlekelwa nguye kanye nempilo yakhe yangaphambili. Ungamsiza kanjani umngane noma ilungu lomndeni kulesi simo?
Ukuqonda kanjani ukuthi othandekayo ungene ebudlelwaneni nomhlukumezi
Bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane bangaba abahlukumezi. Udlame alwenzeki ngokushesha: isisulu siqala ukuthambisa ngobuhle nokunakekelwa. Isiqephu esisodwa asikhombisi ukuba khona kwalesi simo. Ngakho-ke, kungenzeka ukuqonda ukuthi othandekayo unamathele kuwebhu yokuhlukunyezwa kuphela ngenhlanganisela yezibonakaliso.
Ukuthotshiswa nokugxekwa qala ngokubhuqa okulula futhi ukhule ube ukubhuqa okunzima nokuhlekwa umphakathi. Imizamo yokuvikela imingcele yephulwa ngokudideka: uphi umuzwa wakho wokuhlekisa? Lena yindlela umhlukumezi aqeda ngayo ukuzethemba komuntu ohlukunyeziwe.
ukulawula okunonya kulula ukudida ngokunakekela ekuqaleni. Umhlukumezi umboza ukunaka, kodwa empeleni - ubusa zonke izindawo zempilo yomuntu ohlukunyeziwe futhi ulawula zonke izinyathelo.
ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini. Umhlukumezi udala i-vacuum yokuxhumana ezungeze isisulu: uzama ukuxabana nabangane nezihlobo, ucela ukushiya umsebenzi, akahambisani nezithakazelo zomuntu siqu nokuzilibazisa. Lezi izimpawu ezisobala, kodwa kukhona futhi ezifihliwe.
Umashiqela ubonisa ukubanda nokungazi, ukuqhuma kwentukuthelo, lapho isisulu sihlala sinecala, ngoba "wasehlisa". Ibeka umuzwa wecala kulowo ohlukunyeziwe futhi imenze angabi nasizo: "engelutho, engenangqondo, engabonakali" - akekho okudingayo lokhu, futhi umhlukumezi "wayemzuzile". Kancane kancane, isisulu silahlekelwa ilungelo lokuvota, ukubaluleka kwakhe, inkululeko nokuphila.
Izihlobo ziyahlupheka futhi zifuna ukubuyisela othandekayo, kodwa ngokuvamile azikwazi ukuthi kwenziwa kanjani.
Imithetho yosizo ngokuhlukunyezwa
Ukusindisa othandekayo ebuhlotsheni obuhlukumezayo kuqala ngathi. Siyahlola: ingabe igunya lethu liyokwanela ukuthi umuntu asivulele isifuba?
Izihlobo ngokuvamile aziqondi ukuthi kungani isisulu sokuxhashazwa singafuni ukubalalela futhi siyibona yonke imizamo yokumveza iqiniso ngenzondo. Akazange nje abavumele ukuba baphazamise empilweni yakhe, kodwa wanika umhlukumezi ilungelo elinjalo, isisindo sakhe sibaluleke kakhulu kuye. Ukuze ube nomthelela kumuntu, udinga igunya nokwethenjwa.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, sihlola amakhono ethu ngokunengqondo: ukuthi sikulungele kangakanani futhi isikhathi esingakanani ukusiza othandekayo ngaphandle kokulimaza izimpilo zethu. Ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi kuyinqubo ende futhi ebuhlungu, futhi ukusekelwa kwangempela nokwesikhathi eside kuyadingeka. Akunakwenzeka ukumemezela usizo futhi ume phakathi nendawo.
Sibeka imigomo: sisiza isisulu sibuyisele ukwesekwa kwangaphakathi, ukuzethemba kanye nobudlelwano bomphakathi, okusho ukuthi ngaphansi kwanoma yiziphi izimo siyayihlonipha imingcele nezinqumo zakhe. Futhi lapho sesikale yonke into futhi saqaphela, siqala ukusiza isinyathelo ngesinyathelo.
- Isinyathelo sokuqala: ukwamukela. Umlayezo wethu kufanele uhlale uthi: "Ngiyakuqonda." Sihlanganyela isimo esifanayo ngokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu siqu futhi sibonisa ukuthi siyezwa futhi sihlanganyele ubuhlungu bomuntu. Futhi mhlawumbe uzovula ithuba lokuxhumana.
- Isinyathelo sesibili: ukubukeka kwangempela. Sinikeza ukubheka amaqiniso kanye nezimo ezithile lapho ukungabi nabulungisa kanye nokubi kubonakaliswa khona.
- Isinyathelo sesithathu: ukuzibandakanya ohlelweni lokuthatha izinqumo. Sakha izimo ukuze umuntu azenzele ezakhe iziphetho futhi azifunele izixazululo ngokwakhe.
- Isinyathelo sesine: usizo lwangempela. Siyabuza: udinga usizo futhi hlobo luni? Silungiselele futhi saqonda imvelo, ububanzi kanye nesikhathi esingaba khona sokwesekwa. Isibonelo, izinyanga eziyisithupha ngezinsuku namahora athile okuhlala nengane.
- Isinyathelo sesihlanu: ithuba lokuba lapho. “I will support you” — sikwazisa ukuthi sikulungele ukudlula le ndlela enzima kanye nomuntu.
Kodwa okungeke kwenziwe wukufaka ingcindezi nokufuna izinguquko ezisheshayo kumuntu. Umgwaqo oya kuwe mude futhi unzima, futhi kungcono ukuhamba nawo ngosizo lokusekelwa kochwepheshe be-psychotherapeutic. Futhi umsebenzi wezihlobo kufanele ube seduze.