Nakhu, kuphelile… Kulula ukukusho kodwa akulula kakhulu ukuhlala naye. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uhambile noma uhambile, ukuhlukana kufana nokushonelwa: kubangela imizwa enamandla okunzima ukubhekana nayo, futhi ukululama kuyo ngezinye izikhathi kungathatha isikhathi eside. Ngenhlanhla, sonke siyakwazi ukuvula ikhasi, inqobo nje uma sizinika amandla.

"Khohlwa yena, ubungahloselwe ukuba ndawonye ”,“ Qhubekani, kunezinto ezibucayi kakhulu empilweni ”, “Oyedwa olahlekile, oyishumi otholakele... Ubani ongakaze ezwe lezi zinhlobo zamagama okuthiwa" aduduzayo "uma nihlukana? Ngisho noma abantu abazishoyo becabanga ukuthi benza okufanele, le ndlela ayisebenzi. Cha, awukwazi ukuqhubeka ubusuku bonke, akunakwenzeka. Ngisho noma sifuna, asikwazi ukukwenza. Noma yikuphi ukuhlukana kubuhlungu futhi ukwazi ukuqhubekela phambili, kuyadingeka ngempela ukuvumela lobu buhlungu buziveze ukuze buqaphele. Into yokuqala okufanele uyenze ngemuva kokwehlukana ukukhipha yonke imizwa esinqobayo: usizi, intukuthelo, intukuthelo, ukudumazeka…

Ucwaningo lwango-2015 olwanyatheliswa kumagazini i-Social Psychological and Personality Science lwafakazela ukuthi le ndlela yasiza abantu ukuba balulame ekuhlukaneni ngokushesha. Ababhali balo msebenzi baphawule ukuthi abantu ababehlale becelwa ukuba babuyekeze izizathu zokuhlukana kwabo nemizwa yabo ngokuhlukana kwabo, bavumile ukuthi bazizwa bengabodwa futhi bengathinteki kangako kulolu vivinyo emasontweni ambalwa kamuva. , uma kuqhathaniswa nalabo ababengazange bakhulume ngokuhlukana kwabo. Kodwa akugcini lapho, ukwabelana njalo ngemizwa yabo kwakubuye kwabavumela ukuthi bahlehle ekuhlukaneni. Njengoba amasonto eqhubeka, ababambiqhaza bocwaningo abazange besasebenzisa elithi “thina” ukuze bakhulume ngokuhlukana kwabo, kodwa elithi “Mina”. Ngakho-ke lolu cwaningo lukhombisa ukubaluleka kokugxila kuwena ngemuva kokuhlukana ukuze ubone ukuthi kungenzeka ukwakha kabusha ngaphandle komunye. Ukubhekana nemizwa yakho kukuvumela ukuthi ubamukele kangcono ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Kubonakala kunengqondo futhi nokho kungenye yezigaba ezinzima kakhulu ngemva kokuhlukana. Ukunqamula konke ukuxhumana nomuntu oshade naye kukuvumela ukuthi ugxile kakhulu emizweni yakho nasekusasa lakho. Oxhumana naye omncane nakanjani uzokubuyisela kulobu budlelwano, owaziyo ukuthi abusebenzanga. Lokhu kuzokhulisa ubuhlungu bakho, ngaleyo ndlela kubambezele usizi lwendaba yakho.

Ukunqamula izibopho kusho ukuthi awusakwazi ukuxoxisana nomuntu kodwa futhi ungabe usafuna ukuzwa kuye, kungaba ngalabo abaseduze kwakhe noma ngezinkundla zokuxhumana. Eqinisweni, ukubona iphrofayili yakho ku-Facebook noma ku-Instagram wukuzifaka engozini yokubona izinto ezizokulimaza.

Ukuhlukana akufanele kube yinto engafanele. Noma usamthanda lowo muntu, zibuze imibuzo efanelekile ngokuhlukana kwakho. Ngaphandle kothando, bekungasebenzi. Ngakho zibuze ukuthi kungani? Ukugxila kuzizathu zokuhlukana kukusiza ukuthi ukwamukele kangcono. Kuyindlela yokubeka eceleni imizwa ukuze ukwazi ukucabanga ngendlela efanele. Uma kunesidingo, bhala phansi izimbangela zokuhlukana. Ngokuzibona ngeso lengqondo, uzokwazi ukuhlanganisa lokhu kwehluleka futhi uzitshele ukuthi uthando alwanele. Ikhefu lalingenakugwenywa.

Ukuhlukana kuvame ukusenza sibe nethemba: “Ngeke ngithole muntu","Ngeke ngikwazi ukuthandana futhi (isib) ","Angisoze ngadlula kukho“Ngaleso sikhathi, wusizi olukhulumayo. Futhi siyazi ukuthi ukusabela ngaphansi kwethonya lomzwelo akulokothi kumemezele lutho oluhle. Lesi sigaba akudingeki sithathe isikhathi eside. Ngenxa yalokhu, ungazihlukanisi.

Ukuba wedwa kukhuthaza ukuduma. Awufuni ukuphuma uyobona abantu? Ziphoqe, kuzokusiza kakhulu! Umqondo wakho ngeke usaba matasa ucabanga ngokwahlukana. Thatha izinto ezintsha (imisebenzi emisha yezemidlalo, isitayela esisha sezinwele, umhlobiso omusha, izindawo ezintsha zokuhamba). Ngemuva kokuqhuma, i-novelty inikeza ukufinyelela kuma-horizons kuze kube manje. Indlela enhle yokubuyisela ukuzethemba futhi uye phambili ekugcineni ukwazi ukuthi “Ngavula ikhasi".