Okuqukethwe
Obaba abasha, obaba benkukhu bangempela!
Kusho ukuthini ukuba ubaba namuhla?
Ocwaningweni lwakamuva olunesihloko esithi “Being a father today”, olwanyatheliswa yi-UNAF ngoJuni 2016, cishe ingxenye yobaba okwaxoxwa nayo yathi “iziphatha ngendlela ehlukile” komama wezingane zabo. Futhi nobaba wabo uqobo. “Bathi banake kakhulu, baxoxisane kakhulu, ukuze babe seduze nezingane zabo, babe nemizwa kakhulu, futhi babambe iqhaza kakhulu esifundweni sabo kunalokho ubaba wabo ayenzile nabo,” kuphawula ucwaningo. Embuzweni othi "Uyini ubaba omuhle?" ”, Amadoda avusa indlela yokuba ubaba ngokuba“ khona, ukulalela, ngokunikeza indawo ephephile lapho izingane zingathuthuka khona ”, noma ngokuba ubaba“ onaka futhi onakekelayo ”. le nhlolovo igqamisa indlela yokuba ubaba ngokuphikisana ngokuphelele nalokho okwakubusa ngeminyaka yawo-70s, esikhundleni sokugunyaza. Esinye isifundo: obaba bathi ikakhulukazi babethatha njengezibonelo… umama wabo (43%)! Yebo, ikakhulukazi kumama wabo siqu ababengakhuthazwa ukuba bafundise izingane zabo. Esinye isifundo: Amaphesenti angama-56 “obaba abasha” akholelwa ukuthi umphakathi ubheka indima yabo “njengebalulekile kangako kunaleyo kamama”. Nakuba empeleni, iqiniso liyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu.
Obaba babetshala imali nsuku zonke
Ukuhlola kubonisa ngokucacile isifiso “esinamandla” sobaba sokuhileleka, ngisho noma eqinisweni, kungabesifazane abachitha isikhathi esiningi nezingane ngokuphindwe kabili kunabesilisa. Isizathu esikhulu esishiwo obaba okukhulunywe nabo isikhathi esichithwa emsebenzini. Abanye bayafakaza: “Ngisebenza amahora angaphezu kweshumi ngosuku, ngaphandle kokubala umgwaqo nesiminyaminya”, noma futhi: “Angibikho ngesikhathi sesidlo sasemini, futhi ngenxa yezizathu zomsebenzi impelasonto eyodwa kwezimbili”, kufakaza. -bona. Obunye ubufakazi, bukaMathieu, uyise kaHelios omncane, onezinyanga eziyi-10. “Ngiyisikhulu emnyangweni wezokuxhumana esibhedlela, ngakho nginamahora amaningi okusebenza. Okubalulekile kimi ukuthi ngibe khona nendodana yami ngangokunokwenzeka, ekuseni nakusihlwa. Kusukela ngo-7 ekuseni kuya ku-7:30 ekuseni, ngumama onakekela u-Helios, bese ngithatha izintambo ngimshiye ngo-8:30 ekuseni enkulisa. Ngichitha cishe ihora ekuseni naye. Lesi yisikhathi esibalulekile. Kusihlwa, ngifika ekhaya ngabo-18:XNUMX futhi ngimnakekele ihora elihle futhi. Ngimgezisa ngokushintshana nomama, ukuze ngihlanganyele izinto eziningi ngangokunokwenzeka,” kuchaza yena.
Ukuvumelanisa impilo yobungcweti nomndeni
Encwadini yakhe ethi “The Big Book of New Fathers”, u-Eric Saban, udokotela wezingane, ubala imibuzo eyi-100 obaba abasebasha abazibuza yona. Phakathi kwazo kukhona ezithinta ukubuyisana phakathi kwempilo yobungcweti kanye nempilo entsha nengane. Obaba abasebancane bafuna ngokusobala ukuthola ibhalansi efanele phakathi kwemingcele yabo yobungcweti kanye nenhlangano nengane yabo. Iseluleko sokuqala esivela kudokotela wezingane: isidingo sokubeka imingcele ecacile emsebenzini. Awukho umsebenzi ngamafuphi ekhaya, nqamula i-laptop yomsebenzi ngezimpelasonto, ungaxhumani nama-imeyili akho ochwepheshe, ngamafuphi ukusika kwangempela kuyadingeka ukuze wenze okuhle ngomndeni wakho ngaphandle kwamahora okusebenza. Elinye icebiso: yenza uhlu emsebenzini ukuze ubeke phambili izimo eziphuthumayo, izinto ezibalulekile kanye nalokho okungalinda. Njengoba u-Eric Saban echaza: “Ekugcineni, lokhu kuvumela isikhathi sochwepheshe ukuba siphathwe kahle ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze singaphazamisi ukuphila kwangasese. Ungangabazi ukuphathisa abanye. Sivame ukukhohlwa ukuthi iqiniso lokuhlala ligcwele ngokweqile liholela ekuzizweni ingcindezi eqinile yalokho okufanele sikufeze nsuku zonke, futhi ikakhulukazi kuholela ekuletheni umsebenzi ekhaya. Ukuba ngumphathi kusho ukwazi ukuthi ungabathemba kanjani abanye abantu eqenjini lakho. Okwakho ukusabalalisa umsebenzi kozakwenu. Ekugcineni, sishiya umsebenzi ngezikhathi ezimisiwe. Yebo, noma kunzima ekuqaleni, siyaziphoqa ukuthi sibe khona ekhaya ngengane yethu ngesikhathi esifanele ukuze sisize ngayo,” kuchaza yena.
Dala ubudlelwano obuseduze nengane yakho
Ubaba kaHelios uphawula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi isibopho esisobala nendodana yakhe: “Ngiqaphela isibopho esithile phakathi kwethu, ngisho noma okwamanje ivivinya kakhulu, ngakho kufanele siyenze iqonde ukuthi kunomgoqo ongokomfanekiso. hhayi ukuwela. Ngendlela yami yokukhuluma naye, ngizama ukuba nombono omuhle, ngiyamkhuthaza, ngimchazele izinto, ngimncome. Ngivumelana ngokugcwele nokunyakaza kwemfundo eyakhayo, ”engeza. Njengasesikhathini sakhe sokuphumula, lo baba ubambe iqhaza ngokuphelele: “Impelasonto yethu ihlelwe ngokuphelele eduze kwendodana yethu u-Helios. Sihamba nomama sihamba sobathathu kwababhukudayo kumnandi! Khona-ke, ngemva kokuthatha isihlwathi nokudla okulula, siyahamba naye, noma ukuvakashela umndeni noma abangani. Sizama ukumenza athole izinto eziningi ezahlukene ngangokunokwenzeka,” kuchaza yena.
Ukwabelana okukhulu kwemisebenzi yansuku zonke
Ucwaningo lwe-UNAF luphinde luveze ukuthi labobaba babamba iqhaza emisebenzini yansuku zonke, ikakhulukazi ngezinsuku lapho bengasebenzi. Ngokuvamile, imisebenzi isabelwe kahle: obaba babamba iqhaza ngesikhathi sokungcebeleka noma baphelezele izingane zabo emisebenzini, kuyilapho omama benakekela ukudla, isikhathi sokulala kanye nokulandelela kwezokwelapha. Azikho izinguquko ezinkulu lapho. Iningi labo (84%), nokho, lathi alibanga nobunzima ekwenzeni imisebenzi yobuzali. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuqapha imfundo yengane, ukulala nokulawula ukulala yikona okubabekela izinkinga ezinkulu. “Uma isikhathi eside bengekho ekhaya, kuyanda inani lobaba abathi abashade nabo bakhululeke kakhulu ngezingane kunabo liyakhula,” kuphawula ucwaningo. Kodwa ngokungafani nabesifazane, abavamile ukucabanga ukusebenza kancane ukuze bazenze batholakale. Abacwaningi baphetha ngokuthi lo mbuzo awukaphendulwa emibhangqwaneni eminingi: “Ingabe leli lifa lokuhlukaniswa kwezindima okungokwesiko, lapho ubaba edlala indima yomhlinzeki oyinhloko wemithombo yezimali? Noma futhi iphutha lokwenqaba kwabaqashi ukuvumela obaba balungise amahora abo okusebenza, noma ngisho nokuziphatha ngokusabela ukungalingani kwamaholo okusasele kwabaningi phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane, ”kubuza ucwaningo. Umbuzo uhlala uvulekile.
* UNAF: Inyunyana Kazwelonke Yezinhlangano Zomndeni