Abazali be-Narcissistic ngezinye izikhathi bakhulisa izingane zabo emzamweni wokuzikhulisa zibe "i-ideal" ubuntu. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uGerald Schonewulf usitshela enye yezindaba zokukhuliswa okunjalo.
Ngizokutshela indaba yomfana lapho unina azama ukukhulisa "ingqondo encane." Wayezibheka njengongqondongqondo ongadalulwanga futhi wayeqiniseka ukuthi umndeni wakhe wawuvimbele amakhono akhe obuhlakani ukuba athuthuke ngokugcwele.
Wabeletha indodana, uFiliphu, sekwephuzile futhi kusukela ekuqaleni waqaphela ingane njengendlela yokwanelisa izidingo zakhe. Wayedingeka ukuze akhanyise isizungu sakhe futhi abonise ukuthi umkhaya wakubo wawunephutha ngaye. Wayefuna ukuthi umfana amkhonze, umama omangalisayo, kodwa into eyinhloko ukuthi ukhula njengongqondongqondo, ukuqhubeka "kwengqondo" yakhe.
Kusukela ekuzalweni, waphefumulela uFiliphu ukuthi wayengcono kunontanga yakhe - ehlakaniphile, emuhle kakhulu futhi ngokuvamile "isigaba esiphakeme". Akazange amvumele ukuthi adlale nezingane zomakhelwane, esaba ukuthi "bazommosha" ngezinto zabo zokuzilibazisa "eziyisisekelo". Ngisho nangesikhathi ekhulelwe, wayemfundela ngokuzwakalayo futhi wenza konke ukukhulisa indodana yakhe ukuba ibe ingane ehlakaniphile, engaphambi kwesikhathi eyayizoba uphawu lwempumelelo yakhe. Lapho eneminyaka emithathu, wayesekwazi ukufunda nokubhala.
Esikoleni samabanga aphansi, wayehamba phambili kakhulu kunezinye izingane ngokwentuthuko. "Wagxumela" ekilasini futhi waba intandokazi yothisha. UPhilip wayebadlula kude abafundi afunda nabo esikoleni futhi wabonakala ethethelela ngokugcwele amathemba kanina. Nokho, izingane ekilasini zaqala ukumhlukumeza. Ephendula izikhalo, umama waphendula: “Banomona ngawe. Ungabanaki. Bayakuzonda ngoba babi kunawe kukho konke. Umhlaba ubungaba indawo engcono ngaphandle kwabo.”
Akabange esakwazi ukuziduduza ngokuthi wayenomona nje: ukusebenza kwakhe ezifundweni kwehle kakhulu, futhi manje kwakungekho lutho lokumhawukela.
Phakathi naso sonke isikhathi sakhe esikoleni esiphakeme, unina wayephethe ngokuphelele uFiliphu. Uma umfana ezivumela ukuba angabaze iziyalezo zakhe, wayejeziswa kanzima. Ekilasini, wayehlala eyisisulu, kodwa wazichaza ngokuphakama kwakhe kunabanye afunda nabo.
Izinkinga zangempela zaqala lapho uFiliphu engena ekolishi elisezingeni eliphezulu. Lapho wayeka ukugqama ngokumelene nesizinda esijwayelekile: kwakukhona abafundi abahlakaniphile abanele ekolishi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, wasala yedwa, ngaphandle kwesivikelo sikamama njalo. Ubehlala edomini nabanye abafana ababecabanga ukuthi uyinqaba. Wayengasakwazi ukuziduduza ngokuthi wayemane enomona: ukusebenza kwakhe ezifundweni kwehle kakhulu, futhi manje kwakungekho lutho lokumhawukela. Kuvele ukuthi empeleni ubuhlakani bakhe bungaphansi kwesilinganiso. Ukuzethemba kwakhe okuntekenteke kwakuwohloka.
Kwavela ukuthi kwakukhona kwalasha ngempela phakathi komuntu unina amfundisa ukuba abe nguye kanye noFiliphu wangempela. Ngaphambili, wayengumfundi omuhle kakhulu, kodwa manje wayengakwazi ukuphasa izifundo eziningana. Abanye abafundi bahlekisa ngaye.
Wayethukuthele egane unwabu: bangamhleka kanjani laba "abantu"? Ngaphezu kwakho konke, wayelinyazwa ukugconwa kwamantombazane. Akazange akhule abe ungqondongqondo omuhle, njengoba unina esho, kodwa, ngokuphambene nalokho, wayengaphansi futhi engathandeki, enekhala elifushane namehlo amancane.
Ngemva kwezigameko eziningi, wagcina esesibhedlela sabagula ngengqondo, lapho kwatholakala ukuthi une- paranoid schizophrenia.
Eziphindiselela, uPhilip waqala ukuhlela ububi nabafunda nabo ekilasini, egqekeza emakamelweni amantombazane, wake wazama nokuklinya omunye wabafundi. Ngemva kwezigameko eziningana ezifanayo, wagcina esesibhedlela sabagula ngengqondo, lapho kwatholakala ukuthi une- paranoid schizophrenia. Ngaleso sikhathi, wayenemibono eyinkohliso yokuthi wayengeyena nje ungqondongqondo, kodwa futhi wayenamakhono angavamile: isibonelo, angabulala umuntu ngakolunye uhlangothi lwezwe ngamandla okucabanga. Wayeqiniseka ukuthi ubuchopho bakhe bunama- neurotransmitter akhethekile okungekho omunye owayenawo.
Ngemva kweminyaka embalwa esesibhedlela sabagula ngengqondo, waba nekhono ngokwanele ekwenzeni sengathi uphile saka futhi wakhululwa. Kodwa uFiliphu wayengenandawo yokuya: lapho efika esibhedlela, unina wathukuthela, wenza ihlazo kubaphathi besibhedlela futhi washona lapho ngenxa yesifo senhliziyo.
Kodwa ngisho nalapho esemgwaqweni, uPhilip waqhubeka ezibheka njengophakeme kunabanye futhi ekholelwa ukuthi wayemane ezenza ongenakhaya ukuze afihle ukuphakama kwakhe kwabanye futhi azivikele ekushushisweni. Wayesawuzonda wonke lo mhlaba owenqaba ukuqaphela ubuhlakani bakhe.
UPhilip wayenethemba lokuthi ekugcineni uzoba umuntu owazisa ubuhlakani bakhe.
Ngesinye isikhathi uPhilip wehlela esitimeleni esingaphansi komhlaba. Izingubo zakhe zazingcolile, wayenuka kabi: kwase kuphele amasonto amaningi engagezi. Emaphethelweni esiteji, uFiliphu wabona intombazanyana enhle. Njengoba wayebukeka ehlakaniphile futhi emnandi, wayenethemba lokuthi ekugcineni wayezoba uhlobo lomuntu owazisa ubuhlakani bakhe. Wasondela kuye wacela isikhathi. Intombazane yambheka ngokushesha, yakwazisa ukubukeka kwayo okunyanyekayo, futhi yafulathela ngokushesha.
Ngiyamcasula, kucabanga uPhilip, ufana nse nabanye abantu! Wakhumbula amanye amantombazane asekolishi ayehlekisa ngaye, kodwa empeleni ayengafaneleki ngisho nokuba eduze kwakhe! Ngakhumbula amazwi kamama okuthi umhlaba ungaba ngcono ngaphandle kwabantu.
Njengoba isitimela singena esiteshini, uPhilip waphusha intombazane kujantshi. Ezwe ukukhala kwakhe okudabukisayo, wezwa lutho.