Indaba kamama wengane ene-autism: "Ukudala sekuyimithi yami"

Lapho inenyanga eyodwa neyisikhombisa ubudala, indodana yami u-Yakov yaqala ukunikina ikhanda nokuvala izindlebe zayo ngezandla, njengokungathi ziqhuma ubuhlungu. Waqala ukugijima emibuthanweni futhi enza ukunyakaza okungahleliwe ngezandla zakhe, ehamba ngezinzwane zakhe, ephahlazeka ezindongeni.

Wacishe walahlekelwa ukukhuluma kwakhe. Wayelokhu eququda okuthile, wayeka nokukhomba izinto. Futhi waqala ukuluma kakhulu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, akazange alume kuphela labo ababemzungezile, kodwa naye ngokwakhe.

Hhayi ukuthi ngaphambi kwalokho indodana yami yayiyingane ezolile emhlabeni. Cha. Wayehlale ekhuthele, kodwa zazingekho izimpawu ezisobala ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle kuye kwaze kwaba unyaka nesigamu. Ngonyaka nesishiyagalombili, esheke likadokotela, akazange ahlale phansi umzuzwana, akakwazanga ukuhlanganisa uhlobo oluthile lombhoshongo wama-cubes okufanele akhelwe ingane elingana naye, futhi waluma umhlengikazi kabi.

Sadluliselwa esikhungweni sokuthuthukisa izingane. Ngamelana isikhathi eside. Kwaze kwaba yilapho udokotela wezinzwa zezingane ekhuluma ngokuzwakalayo ukuxilongwa kokugcina. Ingane yami ine-autism. Futhi lokhu kunikezwa.

Ingabe kukhona okushintshile emhlabeni kusukela ngaleso sikhathi? Cha. Abantu baqhubeka bephila izimpilo zabo, akekho owayesinakile - noma ubuso bami obugcwele izinyembezi, noma ubaba odidekile, noma indodana yami egijima endaweni ethile, njengenjwayelo. Izindonga azizange zidilike, izindlu zazimile.

Bengicabanga ukuthi konke bekuyiphutha elithile. Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi ukuxilongwa akulungile. Yini engalungile. “Basazoba namahloni ngokuthi bahlonze ingane yami ukuthi ine-autism,” ngicabanga. Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi ngaqala uhambo lwami olude lokwamukela.

Ifuna indlela yokuphuma

Njenganoma yimuphi umzali ingane yakhe okutholakala ukuthi ine-autism, ngadlula kuzo zonke izigaba ezinhlanu zokwamukela okungagwemeki: ukuphika, intukuthelo, ukuxoxisana, ukudangala, nokwamukela ekugcineni. Kodwa kwaba wukucindezeleka lapho ngabambeka khona isikhathi eside.

Ngesinye isikhathi, ngayeka ukuzama ukufundisa kabusha ingane, ngigijimela emakhelini «izikhanyiso» kanye namakilasi engeziwe, ngayeka ukulindela endodaneni yami lokho ayengenakukunikeza ... Futhi ngisho nangemva kwalokho angizange ngiphume kwalasha. .

Ngabona ukuthi ingane yami izohluka kukho konke ukuphila kwayo, cishe yayingeke ikwazi ukuzimela futhi ngeke ikwazi ukuphila impilo egcwele ngokombono wami. Futhi le micabango yenza izinto zaba zimbi nakakhulu. U-Yashka wathatha wonke amandla ami engqondo nawomzimba. Ngabona kungasizi ngalutho ukuphila. Okwani? Ngeke uguqule lutho noma kunjalo.

Ngabona ukuthi ngangicindezelekile lapho ngizithola ngenza umbuzo wokusesha: «izindlela zesimanje zokuzibulala. Bengizibuza ukuthi bawenza kanjani amaphuzu ngempilo esikhathini sethu ...

Ingabe kukhona okushintshile kule ndawo ngokuthuthukiswa kobuchwepheshe obuphezulu noma cha? Mhlawumbe kukhona uhlobo oluthile lwesicelo socingo olukhetha indlela engcono kakhulu yokuzibulala kuye ngokuthi umlingiswa, imikhuba, umndeni? Kuyathakazelisa, akunjalo? Lokho kwangithakazelisa nakimi. Futhi kufana nokuthi bekungemina. Ubengathi akazibuzi. Ngisanda kuzithola ngifunda ngokuzibulala.

Lapho ngitshela umngane wami oyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uRita Gabay ngalokhu, wabuza: “Ukhetheni, iyiphi indlela ekufanele?” Futhi lawo mazwi angibuyisela emhlabeni. Kwaba sobala ukuthi konke engangikufunda kwakuhlobene nami ngandlela thize. Futhi yisikhathi sokucela usizo.

Uzobe ehlukile impilo yakhe yonke.

Mhlawumbe isinyathelo sokuqala “sokuvuka” kwaba ukuba ngivume ukuthi ngiyakufuna. Ngiwukhumbula kahle umcabango wami: “Ngeke ngisakwazi ukwenza lokhu.” Ngizizwa kabi emzimbeni wami, ngimubi empilweni yami, ngimubi emndenini wami. Ngabona ukuthi kukhona okumele kushintshe. Kodwa yini?

Ukuqaphela ukuthi okwenzeka kimi kubizwa ngokuthi ukutubeka ngokomzwelo akuzange kufike ngokushesha. Ngicabanga ukuthi ngiqale ukuzwa ngaleli temu kudokotela womndeni wami. Ngafika kuye ngamaconsi ekhaleni kusuka ku-sinusitis, futhi ngashiya nama-antidepressants. Udokotela wavele wangibuza ukuthi nginjani. Futhi ekuphenduleni, ngakhala izinyembezi futhi enye ingxenye yehora angikwazanga ukuzola, ngimtshela ukuthi banjani ...

Usizo lwavela ezinhlangothini ezimbili ngesikhathi esisodwa. Okokuqala, ngaqala ukuthatha ama-antidepressants njengoba kunqunywe udokotela, futhi okwesibili, ngabhalisa kudokotela wezengqondo. Ekugcineni, zombili zangisebenzela. Kodwa hhayi kanye nje. Kumele ngabe sesidlulile isikhathi. Kuyaphilisa. Kuhle, kodwa kuyiqiniso.

Lapho isikhathi esiningi sidlula, kuba lula ukuqonda ukuxilongwa. Uyayeka ukwesaba igama elithi "autism", uyeka ukukhala njalo uma utshela othile ukuthi ingane yakho inalesi sifo. Ngoba nje, awu, ungakhala kangakanani ngenxa yesizathu esifanayo! Umzimba ujwayele ukuziphilisa.

Omama bakuzwa lokhu ngesizathu noma ngaphandle kwesizathu: “Kumelwe nakanjani uzitholele isikhathi sakho.” Noma okungcono nakakhulu: "Izingane zidinga umama ojabulayo." Ngiyakuzonda uma besho kanjalo. Ngoba lawa ngamazwi avamile. Futhi "isikhathi sakho" esilula sisiza isikhathi esifushane kakhulu uma umuntu ecindezelekile. Kunoma yikuphi, kwaba kanjalo kimi.

Uchungechunge lwe-TV noma amamuvi yiziphazamiso ezinhle, kodwa azikukhiphi ekucindezelekeni. Ukuya kumlungisi wezinwele kuyinto enhle kakhulu. Bese kuvela amandla amahora ambalwa. Kodwa yini elandelayo? Ubuyele kumlungisi wezinwele?

Ngabona ukuthi ngidinga ukuthola insiza ehlala njalo, umphumela wayo ongaphakelwa njalo. Ngithole insiza enjalo ekudaleni. Ekuqaleni ngadweba futhi ngenza imisebenzi yezandla, ngingakaqapheli ukuthi lokhu kwakuyinsiza yami. Wabe eseqala ukubhala.

Manje kimina akukho ukwelashwa okungcono kunokubhala indaba noma ukubeka ephepheni zonke izenzakalo zosuku, noma ngisho nokushicilela okuthunyelwe ku-Facebook (inhlangano eyeqisayo evinjelwe eRussia) mayelana nokuthi yini engikhathazayo noma mayelana nabanye. ezinye izinto ezingavamile ze-Yashkina. Ngamazwi ngibeka ukwesaba kwami, ukungabaza, ukungazethembi, kanye nothando nokwethemba.

Ukudala yikho okuvala isikhala esingaphakathi, esivela emaphusheni angafezeki kanye nokulindelwe. Incwadi ethi "Mom, AU. Ukuthi ingane ene-autism yasifundisa kanjani ukuthi sijabule” kwaba yindlela yokwelapha engcono kakhulu kimi, yokwelapha ngokudala.

"Thola izindlela zakho zokujabula"

URita Gabay, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo emtholampilo

Lapho ingane ene-autism izalwa emndenini, abazali ekuqaleni abaqapheli ukuthi ukhethekile. Umama uyabuza ezinkundleni zokuxhumana: “Ingabe ingane yakho nayo ayilali kahle ebusuku?” Futhi uthola impendulo: “Yebo, lokhu kuvamile, izingane zivame ukuphaphama ebusuku.” “Ingabe nengane yakho ikhetha ukudla?” "Yebo, izingane zami nazo zikhethiwe." "Ingabe eyakho nayo ayikubheki emehlweni futhi iqine uma uyigona ezandleni zakho?" “Eshu, cha, uwena kuphela, futhi lolu uphawu olubi, phuthuma uyobheka isheke.”

Izinsimbi ze-alamu ziba umugqa ohlukanisayo, okungaphezu kwalokho isizungu sabazali bezingane ezikhethekile siqala. Ngoba abakwazi nje ukuhlangana nokugeleza okuvamile kwabanye abazali futhi benze njengawo wonke umuntu. Abazali bezingane ezikhethekile badinga njalo ukwenza izinqumo - yiziphi izindlela zokulungiswa okufanele zisetshenziswe, ubani ozokwethemba nokuthi yini okufanele yenqabe. Inqwaba yolwazi oluku-inthanethi ngokuvamile ayisizi, kodwa iyadida kuphela.

Ikhono lokucabanga ngokuzimela nokucabanga ngokujulile alitholakali njalo komama nobaba abakhathazekile nabakhungathekile bezingane ezinezinkinga zokukhula. Hhayi-ke, ungasigxeka kanjani isithembiso esilingayo sokwelapha i-autism lapho nsuku zonke nehora ngalinye uthandazela ukuthi ukuxilongwa kuvele kuyiphutha?

Ngeshwa, abazali bezingane ezikhethekile bavame ukungabi namuntu ongabonisana naye. Isihloko sincane, kukhona ochwepheshe abambalwa, kukhona ama-charlatans amaningi, futhi iseluleko sabazali abavamile sibonakala singasebenzi ngokuphelele ezinganeni ezine-autism futhi kwandisa umuzwa wesizungu nokungaqondi kuphela. Ukuhlala kulokhu akubekezeleleki kuwo wonke umuntu, futhi udinga ukubheka umthombo wokusekela.

Ku-Facebook (inhlangano eyeqisayo evinjelwe eRussia), kunamaqembu akhethekile abazali bezingane ezine-autism, futhi ungafunda nezincwadi ezibhalwe ngabazali abaqondisise ulwazi lwabo, oluyingqayizivele kanye nendawo yonke ngesikhathi esifanayo. I-Universal - ngoba zonke izingane ezine-autism ziholela abazali bazo esihogweni, esiyingqayizivele - ngoba azikho izingane ezimbili ezinesethi efanayo yezimpawu, naphezu kokuxilongwa okufanayo.

Ngaphezu kwesizungu abazali abakhethekile ababhekana naso, bazizwa benesibopho esikhulu nokwesaba. Uma ukhulisa ingane ene-neurotypical, ikunikeza impendulo, futhi uyaqonda ukuthi yini esebenzayo nengasebenzi.

Ubusuku bokungalali babazali bezingane ezivamile bukhokhelwa ngokumamatheka nokugona kwezingane, eyodwa ethi “Mama, ngiyakuthanda” yanele ukwenza umama azizwe engumuntu ojabule kakhulu emhlabeni, ngisho noma umzuzwana ngaphambi kwalokho wayekhona. onqenqemeni lokuphelelwa ithemba ngenxa yomsebenzi omningi nokukhathala.

Ingane ene-autism idinga ikakhulukazi ukunakekelwa komzali okuvela kobaba nomama. Abaningi balaba bazali abasoze bezwa ukuthi “Mama, ngiyakuthanda” noma bathole ukwanga kwengane yabo, futhi kuyodingeka bathole amanye amahange nezibani zethemba, ezinye izimpawu zenqubekelaphambili, nezinyathelo ezihluke kakhulu zempumelelo. Bazothola izindlela zabo zokusinda, balulame futhi bajabule ngezingane zabo ezikhethekile.