Isigqi sempilo, umsebenzi, ukuhamba kwezindaba nolwazi, ukukhangisa okusikhuthaza ukuthi sithenge ngokushesha. Konke lokhu akubangeli ukuthula nokuphumula. Kodwa ngisho nasezimotweni eziminyene ezihamba ngaphansi komhlaba, ungathola isiqhingi sokuthula. Umbhali wengosi ye-Psychotherapist and Psychologies uChristophe André uchaza indlela yokwenza lokhu.
Psychology: Kuyini ukuthula?
UChristoph Andre: Kuyinjabulo ezolile, ehlanganisa konke. Ukuzola kuwumuzwa ojabulisayo, nakuba ungenamandla njengenjabulo. Kusifaka esimweni sokuthula kwangaphakathi nokuzwana nezwe langaphandle. Sithola ukuthula, kodwa asizihoxisi kithi. Sizwa ukwethembana, ukuxhumana nomhlaba, ukuvumelana nawo. Sizizwa sengathi singabakhe.
Indlela yokufinyelela ukuthula?
KA: Kwesinye isikhathi kuvela ngenxa yemvelo. Ngokwesibonelo, lapho sikhuphukela esiqongweni sentaba futhi sicabanga ngokuma kwezwe, noma lapho sibuka ukushona kwelanga... Ngezinye izikhathi isimo asisihle neze kulokhu, kodwa noma kunjalo siyasifinyelela lesi simo, kuphela “ngaphakathi”: isibonelo, emotweni ehamba ngaphansi ephithizelayo sivele sibanjwe umoya ozolile. Ngokuvamile, lo muzwa odlulayo ufika lapho ukuphila kuxega kancane, futhi thina ngokwethu samukele isimo njengoba sinjalo. Ukuze uzizwe unokuthula, udinga ukuvula kuze kube manje. Kunzima uma imicabango yethu ihamba emibuthanweni, uma sigxile ebhizinisini noma singenangqondo. Kunoma yikuphi, ukuzola, njengazo zonke imizwa eyakhayo, akukwazi ukuzwakala ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kodwa akuwona umgomo futhi. Sifuna ukuthula kaningi, sinwebe lo muzwa futhi sikujabulele.
Futhi ngenxa yalokhu kuzodingeka siye e-skete, sibe ama-hermits, sihlukane nezwe?
KA: Ukuzola kusikisela inkululeko ethile emhlabeni. Siyayeka ukulwela ukwenza okuthile, ukuba nezinto kanye nokulawula, kodwa sihlala samukela lokho okusizungezile. Akukhona mayelana nokuhlehla "embhoshongweni" yakho, kodwa mayelana nokuzihlanganisa wena nomhlaba. Kungumphumela wokuba khona okunamandla, okungahluleli kulokho ukuphila kwethu okuyikho njengamanje. Kulula ukuthola ukuthula lapho umhlaba omuhle usizungezile, hhayi lapho umhlaba unobutha kithi. Nokho izikhathi zokuthula zingatholakala ekuphithizeleni kwansuku zonke. Labo abazinika isikhathi sokuma futhi bahlaziye ukuthi kwenzekani kubo, ukuhlolisisa lokho ababhekana nakho, ngokushesha noma kamuva bazothola ukuzola.
Ukuzola kuvame ukuhlotshaniswa nokuzindla. Ingabe yiyona ndlela kuphela lena?
KA: Kukhona nomthandazo, ukuzindla ngenjongo yokuphila, ukuqaphela ngokugcwele. Ngezinye izikhathi kwanele ukuhlanganisa nemvelo ezolile, ukuyeka, ukuyeka ukuxosha imiphumela, noma yini engase ibe, ukumisa izifiso zakho. Futhi-ke, zindla. Kunezindlela ezimbili eziyinhloko zokuzindla. Okokuqala kuhilela ukugxila, ukunciphisa ukunaka. Udinga ukugxila ngokugcwele entweni eyodwa: ekuphefumuleni kwakho, kumantra, emthandazweni, elangabini lekhandlela ... Futhi susa ekuqapheleni konke okungekona okokuzindla. Indlela yesibili ukuvula ukunaka kwakho, zama ukuba khona kukho konke - ekuphefumuleni kwakho, imizwa yomzimba, imisindo ezungezile, kuyo yonke imizwa nemicabango. Lokhu ukuqaphela okuphelele: esikhundleni sokunciphisa ukugxila kwami, ngenza umzamo wokuvula ingqondo yami kukho konke okungizungezile ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Inkinga ngemizwa enamandla ukuthi siba izithunjwa zabo, sizihlanganise nabo, futhi bayasishwabadela.
Kuthiwani ngemizwa engemihle?
KA: Ukwehlisa imizwa engemihle kuyisimo esidingekayo sokuzola. E-St. Anne's, sibonisa iziguli ukuthi zingayidambisa kanjani imizwa yazo ngokugxila esikhathini samanje. Siphinde sibameme ukuba bashintshe isimo sabo sengqondo ngemizwa ebuhlungu, bangazami ukuyilawula, kodwa bamane bayamukele futhi ngaleyo ndlela banciphise umthelela wabo. Imvamisa inkinga ngemizwa enamandla ukuthi siba yizithunjwa zabo, sizihlanganise nabo, futhi ziyasishwabadela. Ngakho sitshela iziguli, “Vumela imizwa yakho ibe sengqondweni yakho, kodwa ungayivumeli ithathe yonke indawo yakho yengqondo. Vula kokubili ingqondo nomzimba emhlabeni wangaphandle, futhi umthelela wale mizwelo uzoncibilika emqondweni ovuleke kakhulu futhi ovulekile.
Ingabe kunengqondo ukufuna ukuthula ezweni lanamuhla elinezinkinga ezihlala njalo?
KA: Ngicabanga ukuthi uma singanakekeli ibhalansi yethu yangaphakathi, khona-ke ngeke nje sihlupheke kakhulu, kodwa futhi sibe nokusikisela okwengeziwe, ukuxhamazela. Nakuba, ngokunakekela umhlaba wethu wangaphakathi, siba abaphelele, abangenzeleli, sibahloniphe abanye, sibalalele. Sesizolile futhi siyazethemba. Sikhululeke kakhudlwana. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuthula kusivumela ukuthi sigcine iqembu elingaphakathi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yiziphi izimpi okufanele sizilwe. Bonke abaholi abakhulu, njengoNelson Mandela, uGandhi, uMartin Luther King, bazamile ukweqa ukusabela kwabo ngaleso sikhathi; babona isithombe esikhulu, babazi ukuthi ubudlova buzala ubudlova, ubudlova, nokuhlupheka. Ukuzola kulondoloza ikhono lethu lokucasuka nokucasuka, kodwa ngendlela esebenza kahle futhi efaneleke.
Kodwa ingabe kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba injabulo ihoxe kunokumelana nokwenza okuthile?
KA: Ungase ucabange ukuthi enye iyaphikisana! Ngicabanga ukuthi kufana nokudonsa umoya nokukhipha umoya. Kunezikhathi lapho kubalulekile ukumelana, ukwenza, ukulwa, nezinye izikhathi lapho udinga ukuphumula, wamukele isimo, ubheke nje imizwa yakho. Lokhu akusho ukuyeka, ukuyeka, noma ukuzithoba. Ekwamukeleni, uma kuqondwa kahle, kunezigaba ezimbili: ukwamukela iqiniso nokuligcina, bese wenza okuthile ukuze likuguqule. Umsebenzi wethu "ukusabela" kulokho okwenzeka ezingqondweni nasezinhliziyweni zethu, hhayi "ukusabela" njengoba imizwa idinga. Nakuba umphakathi usicela ukuba sisabele, sinqume ngokushesha, njengabathengisi abamemezayo: “Uma ungathengi lokhu manje, lo mkhiqizo uzophela namuhla kusihlwa noma kusasa!” Izwe lethu lizama ukusibamba, lisiphoqa ukuthi ngaso sonke isikhathi sicabange ukuthi udaba luyaphuthuma. Ukuzola kumayelana nokuyeka ukuphuthuma okungamanga. Ukuzola akukona ukubalekela iqiniso, kodwa kuyithuluzi lokuhlakanipha nokuqwashisa.