Ukukhathazeka ngengane kungumngane waphakade wobuzali. Kodwa ngokuvamile ukukhathazeka kwethu akunasisekelo. Singakhathazeka ngeze ngenxa nje yokuthi sazi okuncane ngezici zeminyaka ethile yobuntwana, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yezingane uTatyana Bednik.
Psychology: Ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, yiziphi izinxwayiso ezingamanga abazali abanazo ngengane?
U-Tatiana Bednik: Isibonelo, othile emndenini wayenengane ene-autism. Futhi kubonakala kubazali ukuthi ingane yabo yenza izibonakaliso ezifanayo, ihamba nge-tiptoe ngendlela efanayo - okungukuthi, ibambelele ezimpawu zangaphandle, ezingasho lutho ngokuphelele futhi ziqala ukukhathazeka. Kwenzeka ukuthi umama nengane abahambisani nesimo sengqondo: uzolile, u-melancholic, futhi uhamba kakhulu, uyasebenza. Futhi kubonakala sengathi kukhona okungahambi kahle kuye. Omunye ukhathazekile ngokuthi ingane ilwa namathoyizi, nakuba iminyaka yakhe lokhu kuziphatha kuyinto evamile, futhi abazali besaba ukuthi ukhula enolaka.
Ingabe sithambekele kakhulu ekuphatheni ingane njengomuntu omdala?
T. B.: Yebo, ngokuvamile izinkinga zihlotshaniswa nokuntula ukuqonda ukuthi ingane iyini, yiziphi izici zeminyaka ethile, ukuthi ingane ikwazi kangakanani ukulawula imizwelo yayo nokuziphatha ngendlela esiyifunayo. Manje abazali bagxile kakhulu ekukhuleni kokuqala futhi bavame ukukhononda: udinga nje ukugijima, awukwazi ukumenza ahlale phansi ukuze alalele izinganekwane, noma: ingane eqenjini elithuthukayo ayifuni ukuhlala etafuleni futhi yenze. okuthile, kodwa uhamba ezungeza igumbi. Futhi lokhu kumayelana nengane eneminyaka engu-2-3 ubudala. Nakuba ngisho nengane eneminyaka engu-4-5 ikuthola kunzima ukuhlala inganyakazi.
Esinye isikhalo esijwayelekile ukuthi ingane encane igangile, inolaka, ihlushwa wuvalo. Kodwa kule minyaka, i-cortex ye-cerebral, enesibopho sokulawula, ayikakathuthuki, ayikwazi ukubhekana nemizwelo yakhe. Kuphela ngemva kwesikhathi eside lapho efunda ukubheka isimo ngaphandle.
Ingabe izokwenzeka ngokwayo? Noma ngokwengxenye kuncike kubazali?
T. B.: Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi abazali bamqonde futhi bamhawukele! Kodwa ngokuvamile bathi kuye: “Thula! Kuyeke! Hamba uye ekamelweni lakho futhi ungaphumi uze wehlise umoya! Ingane empofu isivele yacasuka, nayo ixoshwa!
Noma esinye isimo esivamile: ebhokisini lesihlabathi, ingane eneminyaka engu-2-3 ubudala ithatha ithoyizi komunye - futhi abantu abadala baqala ukumhlazisa, bayamthethisa: "Unamahloni, akuyona imoto yakho lena, uPetina, mnikeni!” Kodwa akakaqondi namanje ukuthi yini “eyami” nokuthi yini “owesinye isizwe”, kungani emthuka? Ukwakheka kobuchopho bomntwana kuncike kakhulu endaweni ezungezile, ebuhlotsheni abuhlakulela nabathandekayo.
Ngezinye izikhathi abazali bayesaba ukuthi baqale baqonde ingane, bese beyeka ...
T. B.: Yebo, kungaba nzima kubo ukwakha kabusha futhi baqonde ukuthi kuyashintsha. Nakuba umntwana emncane, umama angakwazi ukuziphatha naye ngendlela enengqondo futhi efanele, uyamqinisekisa futhi amvumele ukuba athathe isinyathelo kuqala. Kodwa manje usekhulile - futhi unina akakakulungeli ukuthatha isinyathelo esiqhubekayo futhi amnike ukuzimela okwengeziwe, usaziphatha ngendlela efanayo naye njengoba enza emncane. Ikakhulukazi ukungaqondi kahle kwenzeka lapho ingane ikhula. Usezibona njengomuntu omdala, futhi abazali bakhe abakwazi ukukwamukela lokhu.
Isigaba ngasinye sobudala sinemisebenzi yaso, imigomo yaso, futhi ibanga phakathi kwengane nabazali kufanele likhule futhi likhule, kodwa akubona bonke abantu abadala abakulungele lokhu.
Singafunda kanjani ukuqonda ingane?
T. B.: Kubalulekile ukuthi umama, kusukela esemncane wengane, ambuke, aphendule ezinguqukweni zakhe ezincane, abone ukuthi uzizwa kanjani: ucindezelekile, wethukile ... Ufunda ukufunda izimpawu ezithunyelwa ingane, futhi yena - yena. Kuhlale kuyinqubo ehambisanayo. Ngezinye izikhathi abazali abaqondi: yini okufanele ukhulume ngayo nengane engakwazi ukukhuluma? Eqinisweni, ukuxhumana nengane, sakha lokhu kuxhumana naye, lokhu ukuqondana.
Kodwa kukhona esikukhumbulayo. Abazali bangabhekana kanjani nomuzwa wecala?
Isifo sofuba: Kubonakala kimi ukuthi yonke into ilula. Sonke asiphelele, sonke «singabanye» futhi, ngokufanele, sikhulisa «abanye» hhayi izingane ezifanele. Uma sigwema iphutha elilodwa, sizokwenza elinye. Uma ekugcineni umzali ebona ngokucacile futhi ebona iphutha lakhe, angase acabange ukuthi enzeni ngalo, aqhubeke kanjani manje, enze ngendlela ehlukile. Kulokhu, umuzwa wecala usenza sihlakaniphe futhi sibe ngabantu, usivumela ukuba sithuthuke.