Okuqukethwe
I-psychology yokungazali: izizathu ezi-4 zokuthi kungani kungekho ukukhulelwa, nokuthi yini okufanele uyenze
Uma umbhangqwana oshadile uphupha ngengane isikhathi esingaphezu konyaka, futhi odokotela banciphisa amahlombe abo kuphela, isizathu sokungabikho kokukhulelwa kungenzeka sisenhloko yabazali besikhathi esizayo.
Ukuxilongwa "kokuzala" ezweni lethu kwenziwa ngokungabikho kokukhulelwa ngemuva konyaka wokuphila ngocansi okusebenzayo ngaphandle kokuvimbela inzalo. Ngokwezibalo, eRussia lokhu kuxilongwa kukwabesifazane abayizigidi eziyisithupha nabesilisa abayizigidi ezine.
- Kungabonakala sengathi umuthi wesimanje ufinyelele ezingeni lokuthi inkinga yokungabi nenzalo kufanele ibe yinto yesikhathi esedlule. Kepha umuntu akawona umzimba kuphela, kepha futhi uyi-psyche, exhunywe ngobuqili nesitho ngasinye, - kusho odokotela bengqondo uDina Rumyantseva noMarat Nurullin, ababhali bohlelo lokwelashwa kokuzala. - Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokusho kwezibalo, abesifazane abanga-5-10% bathola ukuthi abanayo inzalo ye-idiopathic, okungukuthi, ukungabikho kwezizathu zezempilo.
Kunamabhulokhi amaningi angokwengqondo owesifazane angakwazi ukubhekana nawo yedwa, noma ngabe ephilile emzimbeni noma elashwa ngokuphepha ngudokotela wezifo zabesifazane. Izisusa eziyimfihlo zifihlwe ngokujule kakhulu futhi, njengomthetho, azifezekiswa.
Uma odokotela behlikihla amahlombe abo futhi bengasiboni isizathu, ungahle ube neyodwa yalezi zinto.
Ukwesaba ukubeletha. Uma owesifazane esaba ubuhlungu ngenxa yokwethuka, khona-ke ubuchopho, obusabela kulokhu kwesaba, abukuvumeli ukukhulelwa. Lesi sici esingokwengqondo sihlotshaniswa nokugula kwangaphambilini, ukulimala nokusebenza. Kulokhu, kubalulekile ukuthi uqaphele ukuthi izinhlungu zomsebenzi zingokomzimba, zizokhohlwa masishane lapho konke sekuphelile.
Ukwesaba ukuba ngumzali. Njengomthetho, ngemuva kwalokhu kwesaba kukhona ukungafuni ukucindezela kowesifazane ukuthola inzalo, ngoba akazizwa elungele ukuba ngumama. Izimpande zilele emndenini wakhe. Ngokusebenza ngezinhlekelele zobuntwana usemncane, ubuyekeze izimo zengqondo mayelana nokuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba ngumama, futhi ukwesaba kuzophela.
Ukungaqiniseki kuzakwethu. I-neurosis engaguquki ebudlelwaneni iyibhlokhi engangabazeki yokubeletha. Uma owesifazane ehlale esola umlingani wakhe ngokungakhiqizi kobudlelwano ngenxa yokuthi akayitholi imiphumela emihle enyunyaneni noma ukungathembani, ukukhathazeka okujwayelekile kufanele kususwe. Kulokhu, owesifazane udinga ukwenza isinqumo esiqinile: ingabe ngempela ufuna ingane endodeni angathembeli kuye.
Umsebenzi. Ubunyumba kowesifazane bungakhombisa ukuthi, ngaphandle kwezimemezelo zangaphandle, empeleni akafuni noma wesaba ukuyeka umsebenzi ukuze angalahlekelwa isikhundla esihle noma ithuba lokuqhubekela phambili. Lesi simo sinegama - ukungabatholi abantwana. Isimo sengqondo sokuqaphela izinto eziza kuqala empilweni yakho zingenza izinto zihambe.
Kuthiwani uma uziqaphela wena kulolu hlu?
Funa usizo kudokotela wezengqondo. Kunzima ukuhlanganisa ikhathalogi ephelele yama-phobias abesifazane aphazamisa ukukhulelwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungaba yinye noma eziningana, njengendwangu eyodwa phezu kwenye. Ngakho-ke, umsebenzi we-psychotherapist ukusebenzela izimo zengqondo ezingezinhle futhi kancane kancane ufinyelele okusanhlamvu kwenkinga.
- Ngosizo lwentuthuko yethu, olwakhiwa ngesisekelo sempumelelo engcono kakhulu yomuthi wokuzala womhlaba, kungenzeka ukuxazulula izinkinga zokungasebenzi kahle kwesinye isikhathi kwezintathu, futhi kwesinye isikhathi ngezikhathi eziyishumi. Njengomthetho, ukukhulelwa kuvame ukwenzeka kungakapheli unyaka kusukela ekuqaleni komsebenzi. Iminyaka eyishumi yokusebenza kwethu esikhungweni sezengqondo saseKazan "Igumbi Elimhlophe" ama-70% emibhangqwana efake isicelo sosizo baba abazali, "kusho uMarat Nurullin. - Sisebenzisa ngokucophelela zonke izingqimba zengqondo yomuntu futhi sizivumelanise. Ngenxa yalokhu, ukuxilongwa kwe- "idiopathic infertility" kuyasuswa.
Ungakwazi yini ukuyiphatha ngokwakho?
Mhlawumbe isincomo esikhulu, uma konke kuhle ngombono wezokwelapha, nokukhulelwa kungenzeki, ukuyeka ukuzizwa njengesisulu sezimo. Owesifazane, ngaphandle kokusola, ezingeni elingazi lutho unikeza ukufakwa emzimbeni: asikho isidingo, linda kancane, ungakulungeli, umuntu ongafanele, umzuzu ongafanele. Kunzima kakhulu ukuzimela ekhanda isifiso sokuba nengane nokungathandi ukuziguqula nokuphila. Ngakho-ke, usizo lwengqondo olungasombulula lesi simo esiyindida.
Futhi isinyathelo sokuqala sokusebenza ngokwakho kungaba ukuvezwa kobufazi bakho. Sebenza ngokwesaba ukuba mubi ngokujwayelekile, kunoma iyiphi indima. Kholelwa emcabangweni: "Ngingumzali ongcono kakhulu wengane yami, ongcono kimi." Ukusebenza ezimweni ezibuhlungu kusukela ebuntwaneni nakho kunikeza insiza enkulu, kuvula ukwesekwa okuvela kumlingani, abangane nezihlobo. Futhi yize lezi kuyizingcezu ezihlukanisiwe kuphela, zingakha isisekelo sendaba ephelele mayelana nokuzalwa komuntu omusha.