Okuqukethwe
Kungani kufanele ngenze okuthile uma kungekho muntu oyidingayo? Ungazizwa kanjani injabulo lapho lingekho ikusasa elisele? Kungani konke lokhu? Imibuzo engaphenduleki ibuzwa yiwo wonke umuntu lapho isikhathi sokuphila sifika ekupheleni. Isizathu sabo yinkinga yeminyaka, esazi kancane ngayo - inkinga yokuguga. Kudingekile ukwamukela ukuhamba okuzayo futhi uthole umgomo ukuze uqhubeke ujabule, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esikhona u-Elena Sapogova.
Le nkinga ivamise ukuzibonakalisa eminyakeni yobudala engama-55-65, okusho ukuthi iningi lethu kuzomele libhekane nayo. Phela bayanda abantu abadala emhlabeni.
Imingcele yenhlekelele ayiboshelwe ezinqubweni ezithile zomzimba, incike kakhulu emgqeni wethu ngamunye wempilo - kulokho okwenzeka, yiziphi izindinganiso esabelana ngazo, yiziphi izinqumo esizenzile.
Ngokuvamile, inqobo nje uma konke kuhamba kahle - kunomsebenzi, ozakwethu, abangani, futhi zonke izinsuku zihleliwe, inqobo nje uma kunesidingo sokuvuka nokusebenza - inkinga ishintsha unomphela. Kodwa kuyokwenzeka nini konke lokhu? Kuthiwani-ke?
Izigaba zenkinga
Ushintsho olungazelelwe endleleni yokuphila - ngokuvamile oluhlotshaniswa nokuthatha umhlalaphansi - kanye / noma uchungechunge lokulahlekelwa abathandekayo, izinkinga zempilo ezikhulayo - konke lokhu "kungaqala" uchungechunge lwezigigaba ezibuhlungu ezinquma lesi sikhathi soshintsho. Bayini?
1. Sesha izincazelo zakho
Ukuthola umlingani, ukuqala umndeni, ukuzibona emsebenzini - isikhathi esiningi sempilo yethu sigxila emisebenzini ebekwe ohlelweni lwethu lwezenhlalakahle. Sinomuzwa wokuthi sinezibopho ezithile ezweni langaphandle nakubantu esibathandayo. Futhi lapho sisondela eminyakeni yobudala engama-60-65, ngokuzumayo sithola iqiniso lokuthi umphakathi awusenaso isithakazelo. Kubonakala sengathi ithi: “Yilokho-ke, angisakudingi. Ukhululekile. Okulandelayo, ngedwa."
Ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi kuba uphawu lokuntuleka kwesidingo. Ngokokuqala ngqa, umuntu uzizwa engasenalutho manje. Ayisekho imisebenzi okumele ayixazulule. Akekho omunye umuntu obabaza akwenzile. Futhi uma ungenzanga okuthile, kulungile, akunandaba. Manje umuntu kufanele anqume impilo yakhe futhi acabange: yini ofuna ukuyenza ngokwakho?
Kwabaningi, lokhu kuba yinkinga engalungiseki, ngoba bajwayele ukulalela imicimbi yangaphandle. Kodwa ukuphila kwakamuva kuzothola injabulo nenjongo kuphela uma wena ngokwakho uyigcwalisa ngenjongo.
2. Yamukela ushintsho ekuboneni kwakho izinto
Lapho eneminyaka engama-60-65, umuntu uya ngokuya eba “nesikhubekiso” ngokuphila: ubona izihloko ezibaluleke kakhulu, izehlakalo, nezinto ezintsha njenge-alien. Khumbula ukuthi othandweni oludala - "Intwasahlobo ngeke ize kimi."
Futhi lapha, futhi, kunomuzwa wokuthi okuningi akusekho kimi - zonke lezi zingosi ze-Inthanethi, amatheminali okukhokha. Umuntu ubuza umbuzo: kungani ngithuthukisa, ngishintshe, ngifunde futhi ngikwazi kahle okuthile uma ngineminyaka eyi-10 yokuphila kwami esele? Angisakudingi konke lokhu.
Impilo iya eceleni, ayikho kimi. Lona umuzwa wemvelo ehambayo, ongowesinye isikhathi - ubhekene nokuhlangenwe nakho okudabukisayo. Kancane kancane, uba nokuxhumana okuncane kakhulu neqiniso elisha - kuphela lokho okuqoqwe ngaphambili.
Futhi lokhu kuguqula umuntu embonweni abuyele emuva, abuyele emuva esikhathini esedlule. Uyaqonda ukuthi wonke umuntu uhamba ngenye indlela. Futhi yena ngokwakhe akazi ukuthi angajika kanjani lapho futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, akafuni ukuchitha isikhathi nomzamo kulokhu. Futhi ngakho kuvela, njengokungathi, ngaphandle kwesikhathi.
3. Yamukela impilo yakho njengesiphetho
Ukucabanga umhlaba ongaba khona ngaphandle kwami - ngaphandle kwemizwa yami, izimfuno, umsebenzi - kuwumsebenzi onzima. Iminyaka eminingi, ukuphila kwakubonakala kugcwele amathuba: Ngisenaso isikhathi! Manje kufanele simise uhlaka, ngomqondo othile - ukuveza umugqa womkhathizwe wempilo futhi sigxile kuwo. Akusekho ukweqa imingcele yalo mbuthano womlingo.
Ithuba lokubeka imigomo yesikhathi eside liyashabalala. Umuntu uqala ukubona ukuthi ezinye izinto azifezeki. Ngisho noma enomuzwa wokuthi angakwazi futhi ufuna ukushintsha, ngisho noma enayo insiza nenjongo, ngakho-ke akunakwenzeka ukwenza konke ayekufuna.
Eminye imicimbi ayisoze yenzeke, manje ngokuqinisekile. Futhi lokhu kuholela ekuqondeni ukuthi ukuphila, ngokomthetho, akuphelele. Ukusakaza kuzoqhubeka nokugeleza, kodwa ngeke sisaba kukho. Kudingeka isibindi ukuphila esimweni lapho okuningi kungeke kwenzeke.
Ukucacisa umkhathizwe, ukuzikhipha empilweni esiyijwayele, ebesiyithanda nalapho sazizwa sikhululekile khona ukuze sivulele abanye indawo - lena yimisebenzi esilethwa yizinkinga zokuguga.
Ingabe kungenzeka ukuthola okungenani injabulo ethile ekuphileni kule minyaka yokugcina? Yebo, kodwa lapha, njengakunoma yimuphi umsebenzi womuntu siqu, awukwazi ukwenza ngaphandle komzamo. Injabulo lapho usumdala incike ekuqinisekiseni - ikhono lomuntu lokunganciki emathonyeni angaphandle kanye nokuhlola, ukulawula ngokuzimela ukuziphatha kwabo futhi abe nesibopho ngakho.
Amasu Okwamukela
Ngezindlela eziningi, lezi zincomo zibhekiswe kubantu abaseduze - izingane ezindala, abangani, kanye ne-psychotherapist - kulo msebenzi, umuntu osekhulile udinga ngokuphuthumayo ukubukeka kwangaphandle, okufudumele, okuthakazelayo nokwamukela.
1. Qaphela ukuthi izincazelo eziningi ebengifuna ukuziqonda zagcwaliseka nokho. Hlaziya izigaba ezibalulekile zempilo: obukufuna, obukuthembile, okuphumelele, okwenzekile, nalokho okungaphumelelanga. Qaphela ukuthi noma ngabe izimpumelelo zincane, okwamanje lapho uzibonile, bezinenani kuwe. Ukuqonda ukuthi empeleni ubulokhu wenza obukufuna empilweni kuyasiza ukunqoba ukuphelelwa ithemba.
2. Yamukela ulwazi lwakho lwangaphambili njengolulungile. Abadala bavame ukukhala: Ngangimatasa ngento eyodwa, kodwa angizange ngiyenze enye, ngaphuthelwa into ebaluleke kakhulu!
Kudingekile ukusiza umuntu ukuba acabange kabusha izici ezimbi kakhulu zokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe (akazange akwazi ukwenza okuthile, enze into embi, engalungile) njengokuphela okungenzeka ngaphansi kwezimo ayehlala kuzo. Futhi bonisa ukuthi awukwenzanga, ngoba wenze enye into, ngaleso sikhathi ebalulekile kuwe. Futhi kusho ukuthi isinqumo sasilungile, esihle kakhulu ngaleso sikhathi. Konke okwenziwayo kuba ngcono.
3. Veza izincazelo ezengeziwe. Ngisho noma umuntu eye waphila ukuphila okulula kakhulu, umuntu angabona izincazelo eziningi kukho kunalokho yena ngokwakhe akubona. Phela siyaye sikuthathe kancane lokho esikwenzile. Ngokwesibonelo, umuntu osekhulile uthi: Nganginomkhaya, ingane eyodwa, eyesibili, futhi ngaphoqeleka ukuba ngithole imali esikhundleni sokusungula noma ukwenza umsebenzi othile.
Othandekayo onothando angachaza: lalela, bekufanele wenze ukukhetha. Ukhethe umndeni wakho - unikeze izingane ithuba lokukhula nokuthuthuka, wasindisa umkakho ekubeni aye emsebenzini futhi wamnika ithuba lokuchitha isikhathi esiningi ekhaya, njengoba ayefuna. Wena, kanye nezingane, nizakhele futhi nazitholela izinto eziningi ezintsha...
Umuntu uphinda acabangele okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe, abone ukuguquguquka kwayo futhi aqale ukuqonda lokho ayephila ngakho.
4. Bona imisebenzi emisha. Sihlala sintanta inqobo nje uma siqonda ngokucacile ukuthi kungani siphila. Lokhu kunzima kakhulu kumuntu ongenawo umndeni, abazukulu, futhi umsebenzi usuphelile. “Ngokwami” nokuthi “ngenxa yami” kuyavela.
Futhi lapha futhi udinga "ukumba" esikhathini esedlule futhi ukhumbule: lokho obufuna ukukwenza, kodwa awuzange uthole izandla zakho, ungenayo isikhathi, awunawo amathuba - futhi manje kukhona ulwandle kubo (ikakhulukazi ngenxa ye-Intanethi). Wonke umuntu uneyakhe "kungani ngidinga lokhu".
Omunye uqongelele uhlu lwezincwadi ezingafundiwe, omunye unesifiso sokuvakashela izindawo ezithile, owesithathu unesifiso sokutshala isihlahla sama-apula sezinhlobonhlobo ezithile bese ulinda izithelo zokuqala. Ngemuva kwakho konke, senza izinqumo ezincane impilo yethu yonke, senqaba enye ngokuthanda enye, futhi kukhona okuhlala kungaphezu kwamandla.
Futhi ekugugeni, zonke lezi "mhlawumbe", "ngandlela-thile kamuva" ziba insiza enhle. Omunye wabo ufunda, ufunda okuthile okusha. Manje asisekho isimo sengqondo sokufunda ukuze uthole umsebenzi futhi uthole imali. Manje ungafunda ukuthi yini ethakazelisa ngempela. Uma nje kusekhona ilukuluku, lizokugcina untanta.
5. Khuluma ngesikhathi esidlule. Izingane ezindala zidinga ukukhuluma kakhulu ngangokunokwenzeka nomuntu osekhulile mayelana nempilo yakhe yangaphambilini, ngaye.
Ngisho noma ekutshela okuthile kwasebuntwaneni okwekhulu, kusadingeka ulalele futhi ubuze imibuzo: wazizwa kanjani ngaleso sikhathi? Ubucabangani? Ubhekane kanjani nokulahlekelwa? Iziphi izinguquko ezinkulu ekuphileni kwakho? Kuthiwani ngokunqoba? Bakukhuthaze kanjani ukuba wenze izinto ezintsha?
Le mibuzo izovumela umuntu okule mibono ukuthi angahambi emzileni oshayiwe, kodwa andise umbono wakhe ngokwenzekile.
6. Nweba ama-horizons. Abazali asebekhulile ngokuvamile bathatha okuhlangenwe nakho okusha ngokungathembi. Umsebenzi onzima wabazukulu: ukuhlala eduze kwabo futhi uzame ukutshela ukuthi yini ebakhangayo, ukuchaza, ukukhombisa eminwe yabo, zama ukwethula umuntu osekhulile empilweni ephuma ezandleni zakhe, futhi, uma kungenzeka, usize ukuhamba. ngale kwemingcele yobuntu bakhe.
7. Nqoba ukwesaba. Lokhu mhlawumbe into enzima kakhulu - ukuya wedwa ethiyetha noma echibini, ukujoyina uhlobo oluthile lomphakathi. Ukwesaba nokucwasa kumelwe kunqotshwe. Zonke izinto ezinhle empilweni ziqala ngokunqoba. Siphila inqobo nje uma sinqoba inertia yokungenzi okuthile.
Veza nezizathu zakho: Ngeke ngiye echibini ngedwa — ngizohamba nomzukulu wami siyozijabulisa. Ngizovumelana nezintombi zami ukuthi sihambe sihamba epaki, sibhalise estudio ndawonye, lapho zidweba futhi zidanse. Lapho sikhula, kufanele sisungule izimpilo zethu.
Singasho nini ukuthi inkinga isiphelile? Uma umuntu ethatha okuthile: yebo, sengimdala, ngiyahamba, ngenzela izizukulwane ezintsha indawo. Ku-psychology, lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi "i-universalization", okungukuthi, umuzwa wokuzihlanganisa nezwe. Futhi-ke, lapho ngineminyaka engu-75, ukuqonda okusha nokwamukelwa kuyeza: Ngaphila impilo yami ngesizotha futhi manje sengingakwazi ukuhamba ngesithunzi. Konke kuzolunga ngaphandle kwami.