Okuqukethwe
Izinzuzo zokuthula: kungani ukulalela kungcono kunokukhuluma
reflection
Yize lokho okushiwo ukuthi “isithombe sinenani lamagama ayinkulungwane” kungelona iqiniso ngaso sonke isikhathi, kwesinye isikhathi kuyenzeka. Kwenzeka okufanayo ngokuthula: izikhathi eziningi incazelo eningi igxila kulezi kunakunoma yini umuntu angasho. Futhi, ukulalela, into efana nokusebenza "ukuthula kwangaphakathi" ukulalela abanye, okubaluleke kakhulu. Futhi yingakho u-Alberto Álvarez Calero, umqhubi, umqambi, kanye noprofesa e-University of Seville, ebhale “Ukubaluleka kokulalela nokuthula” (Ukuhlelwa kwe-Amat), incwadi lapho enenhloso eyodwa, ngamagama akhe, "ukufaka isandla ekuhlaziyweni kokulalela nokuthula njengamava abalulekile."
Okokuqala, umbhali ukhuluma ngokuthi ukukhuluma nokulalela kuyizenzo ezihlangene, kepha emphakathini waseNtshonalanga «isenzo sokukhuluma sinikezwa ukugcizelelwa okukhulu kunokulalela ngokufanele», Futhi uxwayisa ngokuthi kubonakala sengathi,« ngokuthula, imilayezo ifinyelela inzondo yethu ». Akukho okunye okuvela eqinisweni. Uveza ukuthi siphila esimweni somphakathi lapho umuntu okhuluma kakhulu kungenzeka aphumelele kunomuntu obekelwe eceleni, kepha akudingeki ukuthi kube ngumqondo ongcono wokuba nezipho zokuxhumana okukhulunywayo, ngoba ukulalela kubalulekile, ngakho-ke kangangoba, ecaphuna uDaniel Goleman nencwadi yakhe ethi «Social Intelligence», uqinisekisa ukuthi «ubuciko bokwazi ukulalela bungenye yamakhono aphambili abantu abanezinga eliphakeme lokuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo».
Amathiphu wokufunda ukulalela
Kungashiwo ukuthi sonke siyakwazi ukuzwa, kepha asilaleli. U-Alberto Álvarez Calero ushiya imihlahlandlela ethile ukuthi azi ukuthi basitshelani, futhi bakwazi ukukulalela:
- Gwema noma yikuphi ukuphazamiseka (imisindo, iziphazamiso…) ezisivimbela ukuba sinake ukunakekela okudingekayo.
- Paka imizwa yethu okwesikhashana ukwazi ukulalela omunye ngokuhlosile.
- Ngenkathi silalele, kufanele zama ukubeka eceleni imibono yethu ubandlululo olungenangqondo nolwejwayelekile, kokubili kuyazi futhi cha.
Iphinde ikhulume ngokuthi kufanele senze kanjani eama-ducarnos ukuze akwazi ukulalela, ikakhulukazi emphakathini ofana nowanamuhla lapho umsindo, ngokujwayelekile (konke ukuxokozela kwamanethiwekhi omphakathi, izinhlelo, omakhalekhukhwini kanye nemiyalezo) kungagcini ngokusivumela ukuthi silalele kahle, kepha futhi nokuthi sithule. Umbhali uthi, ukuze ufunde ukulalela, kuyadingeka ukuthi uhambe ngezinqubo ezintathu: isigaba sangaphambi kokulalela, lapho lokhu kufanele kukhuthazwe kusukela eminyakeni yokuqala; isigaba sokulalela, lapho kuvezwa khona ikhono lethu; kanye nesigaba sakamuva, lapho kubalulekile ukuzihlola ukuthi yibuphi ubunzima esibe nabo lapho silalele. Konke lokhu kudinga umzamo, kunjalo; «Ukulalela omunye umuntu kuthatha isikhathi. Ukuqonda kuhamba kancane, ngoba akuphoqeleli nje kuphela ukuqonda amagama, kepha ukucacisa ikhodi ehambisana nokushukuma komzimba, "kuchaza emakhasini encwadi.
Okushiwo ukuthula
«Ukuthula kungabamba iqhaza ngenkuthalo futhi okunenjongo empeleni (…) ukuthula, empeleni kuyisenzo sangempela. Kwenzeka lapho kufanele kukhunjulwe, kepha nokho kuhloselwe ukukhohlwa; noma lapho kunesidingo sokukhuluma noma sokubhikisha kanti umuntu uthule “, umbhali wethula ingxenye yesibili yencwadi. Kugcizelela umqondo wokuthiukuthula akusona isenzo sokungenzi lutho, kodwa ukubonakaliswa okusebenzayo kokusetshenziswa kwayo futhi kukhuluma ngokuthi, njengamagama akuvamile ukungathathi hlangothi, noma ukuthula.
Ukhuluma ngezinhlobo ezintathu: ukuthula ngenhloso, okwenzeka lapho ukushiywa komsindo kunenhloso noma umuzwa othile; ukuthula okwamukelayo, okwenziwa lapho umamukeli elalela ngokucophelela umthumeli; nokuthula okungajwayelekile, lokho okungafuneki, futhi okungenanhloso.
«Abantu abaningi bahlobanisa ukuthula nokuthula, kepha njengokungasebenzi kwesinye isikhathi okushubile. Bayakuqonda ukuthula njengegebe okumele ligcwaliswe (…) ukubhekana naye kungaba yinto engakhululekile», U-Alberto Álvarez Calero uthi. Kepha, yize ukuthula kusisinda ngale ndlela, uyasiqinisekisa ukuthi lokhu "kuyikhambi lengqondo ehlakazekile impilo yamuva esiholela kuyo." Iphinde ikhulume ngokuthula kwangaphakathi, okuthi izikhathi eziningi ngenxa yazo zonke izishoshovu zangaphandle esinazo, asikwazi ukukuhlakulela. "Ukuphila ngedatha eyeqile kwenza ingqondo igcwale futhi, ngakho-ke, ukuthula kwangaphakathi akukho", impela.
Fundisa uthule
Njengoba umbhali echaza ukuthi ukulalela kufanele kufundiswe, naye ucabanga okufanayo ngokuthula. Ubhekisa ngqo emakilasini, lapho abheka khona ukuthi ukuthula "kufanele kuhambisane nesimo sezulu esivumelanayo esikhona, futhi hhayi ngenxa yokuthi njengomthetho kudingekile ukuthula ngokulalela" futhi unezela ukuthi " kungenzeka kakhulu umqondo wokuthula kunalowo wesiyalo ».
Kuyacaca-ke lapho, zombili izindlela ze- ukubaluleka kokuthula kanye nokulalela. "Ngokulalela, kwesinye isikhathi umuntu angaba nomthelela omkhulu kunokuzama ukukholisa izethameli ngamagama (…) ukuthula kunganikeza ukuthula kwengqondo ebusweni bomhlaba ohlakazekile", kuphetha umbhali.
Mayelana noMlobi…
Alberto Alvarez Calero placeholder isithombe ungumqhubi nomqambi. Wathweswa iziqu kwi-Choir eqhuba iManuel Castillo Superior Conservatory of Music eSeville, uneziqu zeGeography and History, iziqu zobudokotela eNyuvesi yaseSeville kanye noprofesa ogcwele eMnyangweni Wezemfundo Yezobuciko wale Nyuvesi. Ushicilele izindatshana eziningi kumajenali ezesayensi kanye nezincwadi eziningana ngomculo nezemfundo. Sekuyiminyaka ekhula, kokubili emkhakheni wezemfundo nobuciko, umsebenzi obalulekile ohlobene nokuthula nokulalela.