Sonke siyesaba lesi sikhathi lapho umntwana eqala ukukhula futhi izwe elizungezile liyashintsha. Ingabe le minyaka ihlale "inzima" nokuthi ungayinqoba kanjani kubazali nezingane, kusho umqeqeshi wokucabangela u-Alexander Ross-Johnson.
Abaningi bethu babheka ukuthomba njengenhlekelele yemvelo, i-tsunami yamahomoni. Ukungalawuleki kwentsha, ukushintsha kwemizwa yayo, ukucasuka kanye nesifiso sokubeka engcupheni ...
Ekubonakalisweni kobusha, sibona "izinhlungu ezikhulayo" okufanele zidlule zonke izingane, futhi ngalesi sikhathi kungcono ukuthi abazali bafihle endaweni ethile futhi balinde isiphepho.
Sibheke ngabomvu isikhathi lapho umntwana eqala ukuphila njengomuntu omdala. Kodwa lesi simo sengqondo asilungile, ngoba sibheka indodana noma indodakazi yangempela ephambi kwethu kumuntu omdala oyinganekwane kusukela esikhathini esizayo. Osemusha uyakuzwa futhi uyamelana.
Ukuhlubuka ngandlela thize akunakugwenywa ngempela kulesi sikhathi. Phakathi kwezimbangela zayo zomzimba ukuhlelwa kabusha ku-prefrontal cortex. Lena indawo yobuchopho exhumanisa umsebenzi weminyango yayo ehlukahlukene, futhi inesibopho sokuzazi, ukuhlela, ukuzithiba. Ngenxa yalokho, osemusha ngesinye isikhathi akakwazi ukuzibamba (ufuna okuthile, enze okunye, kusho okwesithathu)1.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umsebenzi we-prefrontal cortex uba ngcono, kodwa ijubane lale nqubo lincike kakhulu endleleni osemusha namuhla asebenzisana ngayo nabantu abadala ababalulekile nokuthi hlobo luni lokunamathisela aluhlakulela ebuntwaneni.2.
Ukucabanga ngokukhuluma nokuqamba imizwa kungasiza intsha ivule i-prefrontal cortex.
Osemusha onohlobo oluvikelekile lokunamathisela kulula ukuhlola umhlaba futhi akhe amakhono abalulekile: ikhono lokushiya osekuphelelwe yisikhathi, ikhono lokuzwelana, ekusebenzelaneni okuqaphelayo nokuhle, ekuziphatheni ngokuzethemba. Uma isidingo sokunakekelwa nokusondelana ebuntwaneni singanelisekile, khona-ke osemusha uqoqa ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, okwandisa izingxabano nabazali.
Into engcono kakhulu umuntu omdala angayenza esimweni esinjalo ukuxhumana nengane, ukumfundisa ukuphila esikhathini samanje, azibuke kusukela lapha futhi manje ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Ukuze wenze lokhu, abazali kufanele futhi bakwazi ukususa ukugxila kokunaka kusukela esikhathini esizayo kuze kube manje: bahlale bevulekile ukuze baxoxe nganoma yiziphi izinkinga nentsha, babonise isithakazelo esiqotho kulokho okwenzeka kuye, futhi banganikezeli izahlulelo.
Ungabuza indodana noma indodakazi, inikeze ukutshela ngalokho ekuzwayo, ukuthi yayibonakala kanjani emzimbeni (iqhubu emphinjeni, izibhakela ezigoqwe, ezimuncwa esiswini), ukuthi zizizwa kanjani manje lapho zikhuluma ngokwenzekile.
Kuwusizo kubazali ukuqapha ukusabela kwabo - ukuzwelana, kodwa hhayi ukuzijabulisa bona noma osemusha ngokuveza imizwa enamandla noma ukuxabana. Izingxoxo ezicatshangelwayo kanye nokuqamba imizwa (injabulo, ukudideka, ukukhathazeka...) kuzosiza osemusha ukuthi "avule" i-prefrontal cortex.
Ngokukhulumisana ngale ndlela, abazali bazokhuthaza ukuzethemba enganeni, futhi ku-neurolevel, umsebenzi wezingxenye ezihlukahlukene zobuchopho uzoxhunyaniswa ngokushesha, okudingekayo ezinkambisweni eziyinkimbinkimbi zokuqonda: ubuciko, uzwela, nokusesha incazelo. yokuphila.
1 Ukuze uthole okwengeziwe ngalokhu, bona i-D. Siegel, The Growing Brain (IMTH, 2016).
2 J. Bowlby "Ukudala nokubhubhisa izibopho ezingokomzwelo" (Canon +, 2014).