Ucansi: kungani kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngakho nengane yakho

Uma kukhona umbuzo okungelula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuwuphendula njengomzali, nengane yakhe, akungabazeki ukuthi ubulili. Ukwesaba ukungakhulumi ngakho kahle, ukungabi semthethweni ngakho, ukumgqugquzela, ukungakhululeki ngale mibuzo ejulile ...

Ziningi izizathu zokungabi nesibindi sokukhuluma ngocansi nengane yakho. Kodwa kungaba ngcono ukuzikhandla ukuze uzinqobe, ngoba umzali uneqhaza okufanele alibambe ekufundiseni umntwana ngokomzwelo nangokobulili, umphelelisi "kochwepheshe", okuvame ukwenzeka esikoleni.

Qaphela ukuthi lapha sikhuluma ngokuzithandelaimfundo engokomzwelo nezocansi, ngoba lena ihlanganisa izinto eziningi, njengokuthi isizotha, ukuzethemba, ukuhlonipha abanye, imvume, ubulili, isimo somzimba, imizwa, ubudlelwano bezothando, impilo yomshado, njll. Nazi ezinye izizathu ezinhle, ngokuningiliziwe, zokuthi umzali axoxe ngazo zonke lezi zihloko nengane yakhe.

Ukuthuthukiswa kwengqondo: ineminyaka emingaki ingane ibuza imibuzo?

Kungani lokhu, kuyini lokhu, kusho ukuthini lokhu... Kukhona iminyaka, ngokuvamile ephakathi kweminyaka emi-2 no-4 ubudala, lapho ingane iqala ukubuza imibuzo. Futhi insimu yobulili nokusondelana ayishiywanga! Kusuka ku-“kungani amantombazane engenawo ipipi?” ngo “kuyini ukuba ubutabane?” Edlula “uma sengikhulile ngizoba namabele?”, Imibuzo yezingane mayelana nocansi ivamise ukubamangaza abazali, bekhathazeka ngokubabona bebancane bezibuza ngalolu hlobo.

Futhi lesi sifiso sokwazi, lesi sifiso esingalindelekile, ngokuvamile siqhubeka kuze kube yilapho esikoleni esiphakathi noma ngisho nasesikoleni esiphakeme, ikakhulukazi uma ingane esebemusha ingazange ithole izimpendulo zemibuzo yakhe.

Kungcono ukuzamayiphendule ngamazwi afanele iminyaka yomntwana, kunokuthi amshiye yedwa nemibuzo yakhe azogcina eseyigxeka “ihlazo” futhi ingcolile, kwazise akekho ofuna ukumphendula.

Leli lukuluku lokusondelana nelocansi lisemthethweni, futhi aliphikisani nenhlonipho noma isizotha. Singaba nelukuluku lokwazi futhi sihlonipheke, sibe nelukuluku futhi sibe nesizotha, ugcizelela uMaëlle Challan Belval, umeluleki wemishado nombhali wencwadi “Alinge ukukhuluma ngakho! Ukwazi ukuthi ungakhuluma kanjani ngothando nangocansi nezingane zakho”, Ishicilelwe ngabakwa-Interéditions.

Ilukuluku locansi: Ngoba isikole asihlali sisezingeni

Njengomzali ongaphathekile kahle ngale mibuzo, singalingeka ukuthi siziqinisekise ngokuzitshela ukuthi isikole sizogcina siphethe indaba yocansi, futhi ngokungangabazeki sizokwenza kangcono kunathi. .

Ngeshwa, lokhu akuvamile ukuba kube njalo. Uma isikole sinendima okufanele siyidlale ekufundiseni ingane ngokomzwelo nangokobulili, asiyidlali ngaso sonke isikhathi ngendlela umuntu angacabanga ngayo. Ukuntuleka kwesikhathi, abasebenzi abaqeqeshiwe nabasebenza ngokuzithandela ukubhekana nalezi zindikimba, noma ukungabaza kwabanye othisha, kungaba yisithiyo.

Eqinisweni, imfundo yezocansi ibe yisihloko somthetho eFrance kusukela ngo-2001. Kodwa lena ngokuvamile kukhawulelwe emibuzweni yesayensi yezinto eziphilayo kanye ne-anatomy, ukukhulelwa, ukuvimbela inzalo kanye nezifo ezithathelwana ngocansi (STI), i-HIV/AIDS ehamba phambili. Futhi ekugcineni ifika sekwephuzile impela empilweni yengane.

Umphumela: Uma lokhu kuwukuphela komthombo wolwazi lwengane esanda kweva eshumini nambili, lezi zifundo kwezocansi kungenzeka zikwenze. hlobanisa ubulili nento engcolile, eyingozi, “eyingozi”. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokuvamile kuba nzima ngosemusha ukuba abuze imibuzo ejulile phambi kwabo bonke afunda nabo ngoba esaba ukugconwa.

Indlela yokukhuluma nezingane mayelana nocansi: kumele siqambe ukuze kube khona, sibuze futhi sivikele

Imbali encane, i-zezette, kitty, kiki, pussy ... Uma lesi silulumagama "cute"Ingabe, emndenini, ingasetshenziselwa ukukhomba ubulili besifazane, noma kunjalo kubalulekile ukubiza izinto njengoba zinjalo.

Ngoba ukuqamba amagama akugcini nje ukwenza kube nokwenzeka ukuhlukanisa (ngokuhlukanisa izingxenye ze-anatomical, kunokuba ubeke izinqe nama-vulvae kubhasikidi ofanayo), kodwa futhi ukwenza kube khona.

Intombazane encane engakaze izwe igama langempela ngobulili bayo izifaka engozini yokungasebenzisi nhlobo igama kunokuba iphendule igama elithi ingane eyalisebenzisa kuze kube yileso sikhathi, noma okubi nakakhulu, ukusebenzisa amagama. amagama anenhlamba avela kusilulumagama sasekolishi, hhayi ngaso sonke isikhathi ehlonipha kakhulu (ikakhulukazi “i-pussy”). I-Ditto yomfana, naye okufanele azi ukuthi ipipi empeleni ipipi, hhayi "iqhude".

Ngaphezu kwalokho, iqiniso lokuqamba izinto iphinde ivumele ingane ukuthi iqondwe, ukubuza abantu abadala ngemikhuba ethile, ukukhathazeka okuthile okujulile noma izimo zengqondo ezithile ezihlukumezayo.

Ngakho uMaëlle Challan Belval ulandisa ngendaba edabukisayo yentombazane eyayingazi ukuthi kuyini ukuqhanyelwa kubafana, eyabe isivuma, lapho ikuzwa, ukuthi yilokho eyakuzwa lapho ihlezi emathangeni omshayeli webhasi. Kusobala ukuthi leli cala aligcinanga lapho kanti lona obekumele aziphendulele ngesenzo sakhe, ingane ivikelwe.

Ngakho kubalulekileyazisa ingane izikhathi eziningana ngesihloko esifanayo ukuze ihambisane neminyaka yengane, lokho akwazi ukukuqonda nalokho okufanele akwazi ngokubheka iminyaka yakhe. Ulwazi olunikezwa ingane mayelana nocansi kumele lube njalo ibuyekeziwe, ithuthukisiwe, inothisiwe njengoba ingane ikhula, kufana nokumthengela izingubo ezintsha.

Ukufunda ngezocansi ezinganeni: seziyazi izinto ezithile, kodwa kabi

Ithelevishini, ukufinyelela ku-inthanethi nezithombe zobulili ezingcolile, izincwadi, amahlaya, izinkundla zokudlala… Ubulili bungangena ekuphileni kwengane ngezindlela eziningi. Ngenxa yalokho, izingane zivame ukudalulwa ngaphambi kokuba abazali baqaphele, abangase bathambekele ekuziboneni ngokuthi “abantu abangenacala”.

Ngokuthola izinga lolwazi lwengane yakhe, singazitshela ukuthi kakade wazi okuningi, cishe kakhulu, futhi ngakho-ke, akudingeki sinezele okwengeziwe.

Ngeshwa, njengoba uMaëlle Challan Belval ebonisa, ukudalulwa akusho ukwaziswa, noma okungenani okuhle waziswa. "Izingane azazi ngoba besicabanga ukuthi ziyazi”, Ufingqa uchwepheshe encwadini yakhe ngale ndaba. Ngaphansi kwe bashiyele ingane yabo insiza yokufundisa efanele igama, bese ukhuluma ngayo naye uma ethanda, abezindaba abaningi okungenzeka ahlangane nabo ngeke babe nombono ongokoqobo, onenhlonipho, ophelele futhi ongenacala ngocansi. “I-varnish yezithombe zobulili ezingcolile, edikibalisa abazali noma othisha, ngokuvamile iwukucasha”, U-Deplores Maëlle Challan Belval, omema abazali ukuthi bangadikibali ekwaziseni.

Indlela yokuchaza ucansi ezinganeni: ukukhanyiselwa ngaphandle kokwaziswa

Njengomzali, ungase wesabe ukuthi ukukhuluma ngezocansi nengane yakho kuzoyikhuthaza ukuthi ithathe isinyathelo,”inikeza imibono".

Ngokocwaningo lwaseMelika lwangoJuni 2019 olushicilelwe ku- “I-JAMA”Futhi sebelandele abantu abasha abacishe babe ngu-12 abaneminyaka engu-500 kuya kwengu-9, bekhuluma ngocansi nezingane zabo. ikhuthaza ukuvikeleka okungcono, futhi ayithuthukisi iminyaka yabo yokuqala. Izingane ezizuze ezingxoxweni ezikhululekile, ngakolunye uhlangothi, maningi amathuba okuba zisebenzise amakhondomu futhi zithembeke kubazali bazo mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwazo kobulili. Ingxoxo yocansi yaba nezinzuzo ezinkulu nakakhulu lapho yenzeka ngaphambi kweminyaka engu-14, nalapho ithatha okungenani amahora angu-10 esewonke.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, imfundo ethintekayo neyezocansi izoba nomthelela we yenza ingane icabange, isize ukuba ikhethe, izibeke endaweni, ivuthwe ... Ngamafuphi, ukuba umuntu omdala okhululekile, othembekile futhi onolwazi.

Imithombo nolwazi olwengeziwe:

• "Alinge ukukhuluma ngakho! Ukwazi ukuthi ungakhuluma kanjani ngothando nangocansi nezingane zakho”, Maëlle Challan Belval, Éditions Interéditions