Ukuzivikela Ngokwengqondo: Abakushoyo Ngathi Nabanye

Esihlokweni sokugcina, sikhulume ngamaqembu amathathu abalingiswa: «oyinqaba», «yaseshashalazini» kanye «okuphazamisayo» — kanye nabamele la maqembu. Uhlamvu lunganqunywa ngezinqubo eziningana, kuhlanganise nohlobo lokuzivikela kwengqondo olusetshenziswa umxhumanisi. Esimeni sengozi, abantu «abaxakile» bavame ukuba yiqhwa, «yaseshashalazini» — to fight, «anxious» — ukubaleka.

UNGASICHAZA KANJANI UMLINGISI NGOHLOBO LOKUVIKELA ENGQONDO

Ukuzivikela olwazini olungemnandi nakokuhlangenwe nakho kungokwemvelo, kepha kwesinye isikhathi umbono walokhu okwenzekile uhlanekezelwe, futhi siqala ukuhlala embusweni wezibuko ezigwegwile.

Ngiphethwe umphimbo Kunezinhlobo ezimbili zokuzivikela: ukuphika nokuhoxiswa. Bangase bangavumeli ulwazi olungafuneki lungene engqondo, baphike okusobala, noma basuke ezimweni ezingabekezeleleki baye ezweni lemicabango namaphupho, bangene kubo, bagule. Ngomuntu onjalo, uzizwa uwedwa ndawonye: ngokomzimba useduze, kodwa ukude ngokomzwelo.

Protection ukuphambana - ukuqagela, ukuqedwa kweqiniso. Babeka kwabanye imicabango yabo, imizwa, izisusa zezenzo nezici zobuntu. Kulula ukubona izimfanelo ezingagunyaziwe emphakathini kwenye (umona, ukungazi, ulaka) kunakuwena. Ngakho-ke isidingo esingazi lutho sokuhlanekezela iqiniso.

I-Steroids ukulingisa nokulingisa kuyisici: kunciphisa ukungezwani kwangaphakathi ngokungqubuzana noma kwenze abanye bazizwe bekhathazekile kanye nokuzibona bephansi. Basebenzisa ingcindezelo kanye nokwenza ubulili ukuze babasize balahle ihlazo, balondoloze ukuzihlonipha, futhi babhekane nokukhathazeka.

I-Narcissus I-idealization ingokwemvelo: babheka abanye ngezibuko ezinemibala e-rose. Lokhu kubanika umuzwa wokulondeka nethemba lokuhle. I-Charm nakanjani ithathelwa indawo ukwehla kwenani.

I-Depressive-manic Introjection is characteristic: benza izinqumo futhi benze ngokusekelwe kwemibono nezinkolelo zabanye abantu — izingeniso. "Bagwinya" izindinganiso zabantu ababanakekelayo besebancane ngaphandle "kokugaya" noma ukucabanga ngokujulile ngabo. Ngokuvamile abaziphili izimpilo zabo, bengaqondi ukuthi bafunani ngempela.

Protection ama-masochists Ukuziphatha: Baziphatha kahle futhi bazizwa benesibopho sokulandela isinqumo sabo sokuzithoba nokubekezelela udlame. Ngale ndlela, bakhuphuka ngaphezu komhlukumezi futhi bathole «intukuthelo yozwela» kwabanye, bangenzi lutho ukuthuthukisa isimo sabo.

-bambekayo ukuzihlukanisa, ukukhansela kanye nokwakheka okusebenzayo kuyisici. Babonakala ngemicabango ecindezelayo, izifiso nezenzo. Bahlukanisa eyabo imicabango nemizwa ukuze bagweme okuhlangenwe nakho okungadingekile, futhi lokhu kubenza babukeke njengamarobhothi. Bangakwazi futhi «ukuhlehlisa» abakwenzile — ngokungazi bacekele phansi umcabango noma imizwelo ebuhlungu, noma baguqule okungalungile kube okuhle: ubutha bube ubungane, inzondo ibe uthando. Umuntu uzitshela ukuthi konke akuzwayo kuhlobene nesigxobo esisodwa kuphela.

Ukuze silondoloze ukuzihlonipha, ukugwema ukwahlulela kanye nesipiliyoni esibi, ngokuzenzekelayo siphendukela ekuvikelweni okujwayelekile. Kodwa kusemandleni ethu ukufunda ukuzisebenzisa ngokuqaphela lapho zisebenza kahle futhi ziwusizo, nokunciphisa ithonya lazo lapho zihlanekezela amaqiniso futhi ziletha ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni.

IZINCOMO ZOKUHLOBO NGASINYE SOMLALI

Ngiphethwe umphimbo kuvamile ukuqhelelana futhi wenqabe ngokuzenzakalelayo ukusondelana, futhi lokhu kudinga kusetshenzwe kukho. Uma usufuna ukuhosha, zikhumbuze ukuthi ukusondelana kubalulekile kuwena, uyasaba nje. Uma ukhumbula isifiso sothando, kuyoba lula ukunqoba ukwesaba futhi uhlale uthintana nomlingani wokuxhumana.

Uma uthula, ungakhulumi ngawe, ungaceli lutho, lokhu kungabangela ukukhathazeka kuye. Zibandakanye, usho okudingayo. Ungase uthi: “Ngiyakhathala ukuba nemihlangano njalo. Ngidinga ukuba ngedwa, ngehlise imibono. Sitshele ukuthi ungathanda kangaki ukubonana futhi nikhulume ocingweni.

Ukuzibandakanya ebudlelwaneni kuvinjwa ukuthi ucindezela intukuthelo, funda ukuveza obala ukunganeliseki. Isibonelo: "Ngizizwa ngingakhululekile uma ubuza imibuzo eminingi", "Ngiyathukuthela uma ungibhalela njalo. Angikwazi ukuphendula ngokushesha okungaka."

i-paranoialam kuyadingeka ukulawula i-negativism kanye ne-exactingness nokufunda ukubhekana nezimo ezibeka usongo lwangempela noma olucatshangelwayo. Ungase uzibuze: “Mhlawumbe ngisabela ngokweqile, “ngiyaluza”? Yini eyenza ngicabange ukuthi lo muntu unobutha? Kungenzeka yini ukusabela ngendlela ehlukile kulokho okwenzekile? Kanjani, ngamaphi amagama, ngaliphi ithoni?

Ziyeke uma ufuna ukugxeka, ukulungisa, ukuhlanza umuntu. Funda ukubonisa ukukhathalela: thinta abanye ngobumnene, khuluma amazwi anomusa ngesikhathi esifanele. Lwela ukulingana phakathi komsebenzi nempilo. Lawula ukuchichima kwemizwelo nangokomzimba ngokusebenzisa imizwa yomzimba, ukushintshanisa ukushuba nokuphumula.

I-Steroids kuyadingeka ukulawula ukubonakaliswa ngokweqile kwemizwa, ukwesaba ubulili, ukuhoxiswa ebuntwaneni. Iqiniso lokuthi uvame ukukhathazeka futhi usabela ngokweqile, likuncisha ikhono lokucabanga ngendlela enengqondo, likuqeda amandla kokubili wena nalabo abaseduze kwakho. Qeqesha ukuqina kwemizwa nokuzinza. Yeka ukulwela ukuncintisana, isikhundla esikhulu namandla. Sebenzisa i-erotica nocansi njengenkulumo, hhayi njengendlela yokuzivikela.

Gcina isithombe sakho esihle. Bheka ukuzethemba nokuzihlonipha esikhundleni somuntu omdala kanye nekhono lokuthatha izinqumo ezizimele. Izwa amandla ezimfanelweni zakho ezahlukahlukene: ubungane, ukunakekela, ukuzenzela kanye nokukhululeka.

I-Narcissus kuyadingeka ukulawula izinga eliqhubekayo, ukulinganisa nokwehla kwenani. Ungaphakamisi abanye esibhakabhakeni futhi ungabathuki. Zama ukushintsha isimo sengqondo ngawe ngokufaka esikhundleni sokufuna ukuphelela ngokuzisekela. Qaphela ilungelo lokwenza amaphutha, ungazibandakanyi ekuzigxekeni ngokweqile. Yeka ukudinga ukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle kokubaluleka kwakho. Uma unamahloni, khumbula ukuthi wonke umuntu uhlangabezana nalo muzwa. Zihlole ukuze wazi ukuthi ungubani ngempela, ukuthi iyini imizwa nezidingo zakho zangempela.

Funda ukuhlukanisa imizwa yakho nesifiso sokujabulisa noma ukujabulisa abanye. Veza imizwa ngaphandle kwamahloni, ungesabi ukuvuma ukuncika kwabanye. Ungahlala umuhle, unamandla, ungenaphutha futhi unesizungu emehlweni abo, noma ungavuma ukungapheleli kwakho, ubonise ubuthakathaka nokuncika futhi uthole ukufudumala kobudlelwane bomuntu. Funda ukucela lokho okudingayo.

I-Depressive-manic udinga ukunciphisa ukuziphatha okuthobelayo ube sezingeni eliphansi futhi umelane kakhulu nokugxekwa. Yeka ukuba muhle ngenxa yokwesaba ukwaliwa.

Inkululeko yokuzwakalisa imizwa engemihle ithuthukisa ukusondelana, kuyilapho amanga kanye nokuntula ukuthintana nemizwa kuholela ekuhlukaneni nokusabela kwengqondo. Vikela izifiso nezithakazelo zakho, veza ukunganeliseki obekuqondiswe ngaphakathi ngaphambilini futhi kwakwenza ungajabuli. Zama ukugwema ukuhlanganisa okuphelele. Uyakwazi ukuzimela kanye nokwehlukana nabantu ababalulekile. Funda ukuzeseka nokuzinakekela. Yekani ukuzehlulela ngezono ezicatshangwayo nemicabango emibi, gwema abanilahlayo.

Bengidlala udinga ukuqhela ebuhlotsheni obululazayo «ukubusa-ukuzithoba». Funda ukulawula ukubonakaliswa kokuthobeka, qala ukuthuthukisa isimo emndenini nasemsebenzini. Vikela amalungelo akho ngenhlonipho nangokugomela futhi ubuke umphumela. Uzobona ukuthi lokhu ngeke kubuqede ubudlelwano. Ukulwela amalungelo ngokumelene nokuhlupheka kuzuza ukuhlonishwa. Zivumele uveze ukungaboni ngaso linye noma ukucasuka ngodaba olubalulekile. Izidingo zezwe ngokombono womuntu omdala.

Zijwayeze ubugovu obunempilo, khuthaza isifiso sokuphumelela kuwena. Uma ukuzuzile, zihalalisele futhi ugubhe ukunqoba. Yeka ukubeka impilo nempilo yakho engcupheni. Phuma ebudlelwaneni uma uphuma esimweni sodlame, futhi ulwele ukubambisana, ukubambisana. Yenza uhlu lwezifiso eziyi-100 futhi uqale ukuzifeza.

Ezenzweni nasezinqumweni ezithathwayo -bambekayoethonywe kakhulu imizwa yecala. Kubalulekile ukunciphisa leli thonya, ukuyeka ukumelana nokuvezwa kwemizwa futhi ulwele ukwethembeka. Jabulela umuzwa wokuzizwa. Zivumele noma yiziphi izenzo ezizenzakalelayo ukuze uzithintithe futhi uzizwe uphila: lungisa ubuso esibukweni, zenzele ubuso, gxuma njengengane. Zivumele ube ohlekisayo, ongenangqondo.

Veza intukuthelo ngokukhululekile esikhundleni solaka lwakho oluvamile. Misa uma kukhona okungahambisani nawe noma uma imingcele yakho ingabhekwa. Yeka ukucindezela "okungalungile" izifiso kanye nemibono. Akudingekile ukuba uphelele futhi uziphathe kahle ngaso sonke isikhathi.

***

Tadisha, uzibheke. Nikeza umlingani wakho impendulo yokuthi uzizwa kanjani lapho uxhumane naye, ukuthi uzizwa kanjani lapho enza noma engenzi okuthile ngawe. Bheka ukusabela ekuphenduleni kwakho ngokomzwelo, cabangela impendulo yayo, hlalani nixoxisana futhi nixoxisane.

Izindlela ezintsha nezingajwayelekile zokuphendula zizoletha izinguquko ezibambekayo ekuzethembeni, emizweni nasekuziphatheni. Ngemva kokuthola "I" yakho yangempela, uzoqala ukwakha ukuphila ngokuvumelana nezifiso zakho nemibono yakho. Ukungakhululeki kwesikhashana endleleni yenguquko akunakugwenywa, kodwa umvuzo kuyoba ubudlelwano obuletha injabulo nokwaneliseka.