Indlela esizibheka ngayo thina, abantu abasizungezile, nezehlakalo zihambisana nesipiliyoni esidlule. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJeffrey Nevid sikhuluma ngendlela yokuthola izimbangela zezinkinga esikhathini esidlule futhi ufunde indlela yokushintsha imicabango enobuthi ngeminye emihle.
Ukuqaphela kuncike kakhulu ezintweni zangaphandle kunangaphakathi. Sibheka okwenzeka eduze kwethu, futhi asiboni neze ukuthi imiphi imicabango ephakama ngesikhathi esifanayo. Yasidala kanje imvelo: siyakunaka esikubonayo, kodwa cishe siziba ngokuphelele izinqubo zethu zangaphakathi. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, imicabango nemizwelo ngezinye izikhathi akuyona ingozi encane kunezinsongo zangaphandle.
Ukuzicabangela wena siqu noma ukuzazi njengomuntu ocabangayo kwazalwa esikhathini esingeside esidlule. Uma sicabanga ngomlando wokuziphendukela kwemvelo ngendlela yewashi, lokhu kwenzeka ngo-11:59. Impucuko yesimanje isinika izindlela zokubona ukuthi mingaki imicabango, izithombe kanye nezinkumbulo ulwazi lobuhlakani oluqukethe.
Imicabango ayinangqondo, kepha ingabanjwa. Ukuze wenze lokhu, udinga ukufunda ukugxila ezweni elingaphakathi. Lokhu akulula, ngoba konke ukunakwa kuvame ukuqondiswa ezweni langaphandle.
Imicabango mayelana nokwehluleka nokulahlekelwa, ukudumazeka nokwesaba akunasimiso sokulinganiselwa, akuboshelwe ezenzakalweni ezithile.
Okokuqala udinga ukuzinaka futhi ufunde ukukhombisa. Singakwazi ukudonsa ekujuleni kwemicabango yokuqaphela ethi «rush» emfudlaneni oqhubekayo, ngaphandle kokuma.
Ekuqaleni, kubonakala sengathi lokhu kuyimicabango nje mayelana nezinto ezincane zasendlini: ukuthi yini ongayipheka isidlo sakusihlwa, yiliphi igumbi lokuhlanza, nokuthi yimiphi imisebenzi yokuxazulula. Ukujula, ekwazisweni okuncane, kukhona eminye imicabango ephindaphindayo eyakha umuzwa oqaphile. Bavuka ukwazi kuphela lapho ukuphila kukudinga. Lena imicabango yokwehluleka nokulahlekelwa, ukudumala nokwesaba. Abanaso isimiso semikhawulo nosuku lokuphelelwa yisikhathi, ababoshelwe emcimbini othize. Zikhishwa emathunjini esikhathi esedlule, njengobumba olusuka phansi olwandle.
Saqala nini ukucabanga ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngathi: esikoleni esiphakeme, enyuvesi? Zizonde, wesaba abantu futhi ulinde iqhinga elingcolile? La mazwi angalungile aqala nini ukuzwakala ekhanda lakho?
Ungathola izingcipho zemicabango ngokudala kabusha emcabangweni wakho isikhathi esihlotshaniswa nomuzwa ongemuhle.
Kunezindlela ezimbili «ukubamba» le micabango ecasulayo.
Okokuqala ukwakha kabusha «isigameko sobugebengu». Cabanga ngesikhathi lapho wazizwa udangele, uthukuthele, noma ukhathazekile. Kwenzekani ngalolo suku okwabangela le mizwa? Lwaluhluke kanjani lolo suku kwezinye, ucabange ngani? Ubuvungama yini ngaphansi kokuphefumula kwakho?
Enye indlela yokuthola izingcipho zomcabango iwukudala kabusha engqondweni yakho isikhashana esithile noma okuhlangenwe nakho okuhlotshaniswa nomuzwa ongemuhle. Zama ukukhumbula lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho ngemininingwane eminingi ngangokunokwenzeka, njengokungathi kuyenzeka njengamanje.
Yini engatholwa ngesikhathi "sohambo" olunjalo engqondweni yomuntu siqu? Mhlawumbe uzothola lapho umsuka wemicabango ecasulayo, ngenxa yalokho uzibheka njengomuntu ongasoze wazuza lutho. Noma mhlawumbe uzoqonda ukuthi ukubaluleka kwezimo ezithile ezingezinhle nezehlakalo ezidumazayo kweqisa kakhulu.
Eminye imicabango iyalahleka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi asikwazi ukuqonda ukuthi isipiliyoni esibi sivelaphi. Ungalahli ithemba. Imicabango nezimo kuyaphindwa. Ngokuzayo lapho uhlangabezana nomzwelo ofanayo, yima, "bamba" umcabango, futhi uzindle ngawo.
Izwi lesikhathi esedlule
Ingabe kuyakufanelekela ukuba ngabathumbi bamazwi asendulo athwala ukungabaza, asibize njengabahluliwe futhi asithethise nganoma yiliphi iphutha? Bahlala ekujuleni kwe-subconscious futhi "bavele" kuphela lapho kwenzeka okuthile okungajabulisi: sithola amamaki amabi esikoleni, sifeyila emsebenzini, noma umlingani uqala ukuhlala ehhovisi kusihlwa.
Ngakho okwedlule kuba okwamanje, futhi okwamanje kunquma ikusasa. Ingxenye yomsebenzi womelaphi ukubona la mazwi angaphakathi. Okulimaza kakhulu imicabango ethwele indelelo. Kudingeka bathathelwe indawo izimo zengqondo ezinengqondo neziqondile.
Ama-Psychotherapists aqondiswa isimiso sokuthi ngaphandle kokwazi umlando wethu, siphinda amaphutha ngokuphindaphindiwe. Kusukela ngesikhathi sikaFreud, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo kanye ne-psychotherapists baye bakholelwa ukuthi ukuzihlola kuyadingeka ukuze kube noshintsho oluhle lwesikhathi eside.
Okokuqala, singaqiniseka kanjani ngokuphelele ukuthi izincazelo zethu zinembile? Okwesibili, uma uguquko lungenziwa esikhathini samanje kuphela, ulwazi lwesikhathi esidlule lungazithinta kanjani izinguquko ezenzekayo manje?
Kufanele sinake ukuthi imicabango nemizwa ikuthinta kanjani ukuphila kwethu lapha namanje.
Yebo, okwedlule kuyisisekelo samanje. Sivame ukuphinda amaphutha ethu. Nokho, lokhu kuqonda okwedlule akusho ukuthi uguquko luncike kuphela «ekumbeni» izehlakalo ezidlule kanye nokuhlukumezeka. Kufana nomkhumbi okufanele uhambe kuwo. Ngaphambi kokuthatha uhambo, kungaba umqondo omuhle ukomisa idokodo lomkhumbi, uwuhlole futhi ulungiswe uma kunesidingo.
Esinye isingathekiso esingaba khona ukuthola umgwaqo olungile nokukhetha inkambo efanele. Awudingi ukulungisa konke okwedlule. Ungashintsha imicabango ngokuzenzakalelayo, ngesikhathi sokusebenza, esikhundleni saleyo ehlanekezelwe ngenengqondo eyengeziwe.
Sesishilo kakade ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukuhlonza imicabango, izithombe nezinkumbulo ezinquma isimo sethu somzwelo. Njengoba kungenakwenzeka ukuguqula isikhathi esidlule, kufanele sinake indlela imicabango nemizwa okuthinta ngayo ukuphila kwethu lapha namanje. Ngokufunda «ukufunda» ukwazi kwakho kanye nokunganaki kwakho, ungakwazi ukulungisa imicabango ekhubazekile nemizwa ephazamisayo eholela ekuphazamisekeni kobuntu. Imuphi umcabango ophazamisayo “ongawubamba” futhi uwushintshe ube oqondile namuhla?