Umama nendodana: ubuhlobo obuyingqayizivele

Okuhlangenwe nakho okuhluke ngokuphelele kubumama

Ukubeletha indodana kuwuhambo oluhle kumama. Ngenxa yomfana omncane, uzokhoselisa emzimbeni wakhe "obunye ubulili", isilisa, angayazi. Kumama, indodana iyi-gladiator encane ezomnqobela umhlaba… Izokwenza lokho abengakwazi ukukwenza. Mfushane, kungukuzalwa kabusha kwakhe njengendoda. Ngokuzala indodana, umama ungena kwenye iplanethi, emhlabeni wamadoda ... Kuhlale kumangaza kancane ukuba ezandleni zakho "isilwane esincane" esingasazi imiyalelo yokusetshenziswa! Indlela yokuyifundisa, ukuyithanda, ngisho nokuyishintsha? Ewodini lababelethayo, kunemibuzo eminingi ngendikimba yendlu yangasese, ukuhoxiswa okudumile.

Umama nendodana kufanele badle

Ubuhlobo bomama nendodana abuqhubeki ekuzilweni, njengasendodakazini, kodwa budinga ukuthambisa kancane kancane. Omama kufanele baqambe, bathuthuke ngaphandle kwamaphuzu, futhi baphathe leli bhola lamandla ne-testosterone. Umphumela, ngoba simazi kahle kakhulu, silingeka ukuba sifune "indodana" yakhe. Futhi ngakho, kusukela ezinsukwini zokuqala, "umama hen" usendleleni ! Zonke izifundo zibonisa ukuthi ukuncelisa "kuqina" kakhulu nomfana. Omama bazijwayelanisa kalula nesigqi sabo sokuvuka nokulala futhi basheshe bavuke ebusuku, njengokungathi banake kakhulu lesi sidalwa esibabalekelayo!

Ubudlelwano obuhehayo phakathi kukamama nendodana

Kuyiqiniso, omama bathethelela inkosi yabo encane yonke into. Uyabathakasela, uyabayenga, uyabathakatha! Baze bambize ngokuthi “insizwa yami”. Kusukela ekutholweni kukaFreud kanye “ne-Oedipus complex” okwabelwana ngayo yonke indawo, siyazi ukuthi ubudlelwano phakathi kukamama nendodana buphawulwa “nge-eroticization” ethile njengoba kusho ama-shrinks. Uma bembona ephambi kwabo, bayengwe ngokuphelele ngoba bavame ukuthola owabo uyise ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Lolu hlobo “lwe-Oedipus ehlanekezelwe” lubonakala kakhulu njengoba izici ezithile (uphawu lokuzalwa, indawo yemvukuzane, umbala wesikhumba noma amehlo, njll.) ngokuvamile zeqa isizukulwane. I ukuvuselelwa kwe-Oedipus kuzoba nomthelela ebudlelwaneni bukamama nomfana: indodana iphinde yondle a uthando olungenamibandela kunina, oyosala, kukho konke ukuphila kwakhe, into yakhe yokuqala yothando, unkulunkulukazi wakhe. Akukho lutho olukhathazayo ngakho: ngoba umfana omncane, ukushada nonina kuhlala kuyiphupho, ukuqagela kokuhle. Omama bayazi kahle, abahluphekayo, hhayi ngaphandle kokuziqhenya, umhawu omncane ngama-panties amafushane!

Funda isihloko esithi "Oedipus: kuyini ngempela?"«

Umama akakaze athande indodana yakhe ngokweqile

Lobu budlelwano obuqinile, kwesinye isikhathi budlulele, buthakazelisa kodwa buyabethusa omama. Becatshangelwe yi-speter ye-Oedipus, bayenqabela ukuthanda umfanyana wabo ngentshiseko ngoba besaba, ngokumgquma kakhulu, ukumbona “ephenduka” i-wimpy, futhi kungani engabi “gay”! Ama-Clichés aphila isikhathi eside futhi lokho kuyihlazo. Omama akufanele balinganisele uthando lwabo kumfana wabo, ukuvimbela umuntu ukuba abe mnene, omnene, onothando, kunoma yikuphi, iminyaka yokuqala. Masingenzi ihaba! Akunqatshelwe ukuthatha ingane egulayo embhedeni wayo, kanye ngesikhathi… Ukwenza nsuku zonke ngokusobala kuwukweqisa. Okubalulekile ukubeka imingcele futhi ubonise igunya. Umama "okwanele", eqinisekisa ngaphandle kokucindezelwa, uzokwazi ukunikeza indodana yakhe ukuphepha okuqinile eziyisisekelo.

Kusukela eminyakeni emi-2, indodana idinga ukuzimela okwengeziwe

Umfana uzofuna ukuhlola ukuzimela kwakhe ngaphambi kwentombazane. Kusukela eneminyaka emi-2, uzama ukubaleka, phambi kukanina, ngenkathi embuka ngekhoneni leso, ukuqinisekisa ukuthi usekhona. Singase sibe nenkinga yokumethemba, kufanele siqonde intando yakhe ukukhula ngokushesha okukhulu… Ake uhambe kancane. Uma abafana benesidingo esikhulu kangaka sokuzama, ukukhuphuka, ukuhlola izindawo ezintsha, kuningi ukusebenzisa amandla abo njengokusebenzisa amandla abo. hlola ibanga.

Umama kufanele futhi ezwe isizotha sokuqala somfana wakhe, cishe iminyaka engu-5/6 ubudala. Kulo mzuzu obucayi lapho ama-impulses elele, kufanele uqaphele ukuthi ungamanga kakhulu, ukumqabula. Abanye omama bakuthola kunzima ukubona ingane yabo yakudala yenqaba ngokuqinile ukwanga. Bacabanga ukuthi: akasangithandi. Ngenzeni mina kuye? Kungani engizonda? Nakuba kuphambene! Kungenxa yokuthi umthanda kakhulu kangangokuthi umfana omncane uzama ukuzihlukanisa naye, ukuze abaleke ezandleni zakhe.

 Ukushiyela ubaba indawo kubalulekile

Ngokuzenzakalelayo, amadodana alungele esikhundleni sikayise, ukuze babe “ingoduso” kamama wabo. Le nkinga ivame kakhulu emikhayeni enomzali oyedwa, kodwa alikho iqoqo lezinkanyezi lomkhaya elingagonyiwe. Ukushiyela ubaba indawo, noma ubaba, kubalulekile. Essential even. Kusukela eminyakeni ethile, engu-4 noma engu-5 ubudala, uma umfana omncane esunduza unina ukuze athande uyise ("cha, ngubaba ongigqokisayo! Ngifuna ukuhamba nobaba, hhayi wena") kwamukele. Zonke izingane zinohlobo oluthile "lwepasipoti" yobudoda noma ubufazi egxivizwa isinyathelo ngesinyathelo somzali wobulili obufanayo. Ngeke sikubalekele, ubudoda budluliswa busuka kubaba buyiswe endodaneni. Ngokuqeqesha indodana yakhe ukuba ibe indoda, ubaba uyolinganisa uthando lukamama oluhlanganisayo.

Umama / indodana: thola ibanga elifanele

Isipho esingcono kakhulu umama angasinika indodana yakhe ukukwazi ukuyithanda ngezikhathi ezithile eduze, ngezikhathi ezithile “ikude”, ukunaka izifiso zendodana yakhe, ukudinga kufanele avakashele indawo ebanzi. umhlaba. Uzomthanda konke kangcono ngokubuyisela futhi uzoba a indoda ejabule. Ngakho, noma iyiphi imfundo abayinikezayo, ithonya lomama emadodaneni abo linamandla amakhulu eminyakeni ezayo. I-icing ekhekheni ukuthi bazonquma ngokwengxenye ukukhetha ... umfazi wakusasa ! Ukubusa, ukufuna ngenkani, ukungenzi lutho? Ngokuvamile, indodana izobeka amehlo ayo kowesifazane ofana nonina ... Noma ubani ophambene, okufana nento efanayo. Uma umthanda umfana wakho ngesisa, ngaphandle kokweqisa, uzomenza indoda egcwalisekile empilweni yakhe yothando. Kamuva wayezoba umyengi ozethembayo futhi waziswa kakhulu ngabesifazane. Kwangathi, ekugcineni, babebheke kuye lokhu umama omuhle owamkhulisa kahle wamthanda...