Okuqukethwe
- Indima kababa: UMarcel Ruffo uchaza ukubaluleka kwakhe enganeni
- Ngokubona kwakho, zonke izingane zidinga ukwazisa uyise kuqala. Kungani lokhu kubaluleke kangaka?
- I-idealization kababa iyadingeka enganeni
- Ukulila ingane ekahle ecatshangwe ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa
- Ubaba ongekho: thola ubaba oyi-surrogate
- Ukukhombisa igunya akusho ukwesabeka
- Isizukulwane esisha sikababa
Indima kababa: UMarcel Ruffo uchaza ukubaluleka kwakhe enganeni
Ngokubona kwakho, zonke izingane zidinga ukwazisa uyise kuqala. Kungani lokhu kubaluleke kangaka?
Empilweni yengane, ubaba kumele abe yiqhawe lokuqala. Unamandla kunabo bonke, akesabi lutho, wazi izinto eziningi ... Ngisho nakubababa abanesiphiwo esincane noma abadabukisa kakhulu eqinisweni, ingane iyophumelela ekutholeni ikhwalithi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi incane kangakanani. , okuzomenza ambone ekhazimula. Ngaleyo ndlela, iyokwazi ukuncintisana nezinye izingane, ngayinye iphakamise uyise njengendinganiso. Izigigaba zikababa zingezakhe. Ngakho-ke lo baba ongokomfanekiso uyovumela ingane ukuba izakhe, ngisho noma ingakaze ikhohliswe ngokuphelele yile mbono uma iqhathaniswa noyise wangempela.
I-idealization kababa iyadingeka enganeni
Kungaphezu kokudumala. Kwezinye izimo, izingane zingase zenqabe ngokuphelele ukukhuluma noyise. Lapho ikhula, ingane kuyodingeka iphikisane noyise weqiniso ukuze izihlukanise nobaba ofanele. Uyamsola ngalokho ayikho, kodwa nakakhulu ngalokho angeyikho futhi ayecabanga ukuthi ukubonile esikhathini esidlule. Ukungqubuzana okubalulekile ukumvumela ukuba alilele ubaba ofanelekayo futhi azibeke esimweni sekusasa.
Ukulila ingane ekahle ecatshangwe ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa
Ngempela. Ngamunye angathanda ukuthi omunye abe yisibuko esinikeza isithombe esithophayo. Lapho ingane ikhula futhi iqala ukuziqinisa, uyise ukuthola kunzima ukuthola ubuthakathaka bakhe ekhaya, ikakhulukazi njengoba wayemcelile ukuba abalungise. Ngakho-ke kumelwe futhi alilele ingane ekahle ayeyicabange ngesikhathi ekhulelwe, ukuze athande umntwana wangempela ahluke kuye nakulindele.
Ubaba ongekho: thola ubaba oyi-surrogate
Lapho ubaba engekho nengane yakhe, ubaba ongokomfanekiso uba nengxenye enkulu kakhulu uma eqhathaniswa nobaba wangempela. Ngakho-ke omama banentshisekelo yokuvikela isithombe sakhe ngokumchaza njengendoda ebabazekayo naphezu kwakho konke okungenzeka phakathi kwabo. Ngokuzihlanganisa naye, umntwana uyobe esekwazi ukwakha ukuzethemba okwanele ukuze abhekane nokuphila. Futhi kungadingeka ukuthi kunikezwe izithandani kunina ngoba obaba bokutholwa bavame ukwenza obaba abahle kakhulu.
Kuyinganekwane endala ye-pater familys ebuyayo. Nokho ubaba osabekayo ungubaba ohlulekayo ngokudida ubushiqela negunya. I-Authoritarianism ihlanganisa isici sokuzenzela umathanda, ukunganaki ubukhona bokunye umuntu afuna ukukubusa ukuze azitholele amandla akhe kangcono. Iziphathimandla, ngokuphambene nalokho, zicabangela okunye futhi zihlose ukunikeza izilinganiso, ukuvikela nokubeka imigomo ngokuchaza ukufaneleka kwazo kanye nesidingo sazo. Lena ukuphela kwendlela yokukhiqiza inhlonipho, kuyilapho ukwesaba kuzala ulaka.
Isizukulwane esisha sikababa
Obaba besimanje bayazi ukuthi bangakwazi ukukhombisa imizwa yabo ngaphandle kokubonakala “bebuthakathaka” noma belahlekelwa isikhundla sabo njengamaqhawe obaba, futhi lokhu akubenzi “omama ababili”. Banentando yeningi ekwabelaneni ngemisebenzi, bachitha isikhathi esiningi bedlala nengane yabo ngisho nobabamkhulu bayayenza. Phakathi nezinkulumo zami, kukhona ingxenye yesithathu yamadoda abekhona lapho ayengekho nhlobo lapho ngiqala ukuzivocavoca.