Kwenzeke isenzo esilangazela ukwazi eLondon Underground: abagibeli bethulwe nge-“Tube Chat?” amabheji. (“Asikhulume?”), ebakhuthaza ukuba bakhulume ngokwengeziwe futhi bavuleleke kwabanye. AbaseBrithani bebelokhu bewungabaza lo mbono, kodwa umkhulumeli wezindaba u-Oliver Burkeman uyaphikelela ukuthi kunengqondo: Sizizwa sijabule kakhulu lapho sikhuluma nabantu esingabazi.
Ngiyazi ukuthi ngizifaka engcupheni yokulahlekelwa ubuzwe bami baseBrithani uma ngithi ngithanda isenzo sika-Jonathan Dunn waseMelika, umsunguli we-Let's Talk? Uyazi ukuthi wasabela kanjani esimweni sengqondo esinobutha sabaseLondon mayelana nephrojekthi yakhe? Nga-oda amabheji aphindwe kabili, ngabutha amavolontiya ngaphinde ngagijimela empini.
Ungangizwa kabi: njengomuntu waseBrithani, into yokuqala engacabanga ukuthi labo abafuna ukuxhumana kakhulu nabangaphandle kufanele baboshwe ngaphandle kokuqulwa kwecala. Kodwa uma ucabanga ngakho, kusengukusabela okuyinqaba. Ekugcineni, isenzo asiphoqi izingxoxo ezingafunwa: uma ungakakulungeli ukuxhumana, ungafaki ibheji. Eqinisweni, zonke izimangalo zehlela kule mpikiswano: kubuhlungu kithi ukubuka ukuthi abanye abagibeli, abangingiza ngendlela exakile, bazama kanjani ukuqala inkhulumomphendvulwano.
Kodwa uma sithuswa kangaka ukubona abantu behlanganyela ngokuzithandela engxoxweni evamile obala, mhlawumbe abanazo izinkinga?
Ukwenqaba umbono wokuxhumana nabantu ongabazi kuwukuthobela ama-boors
Ngoba iqiniso, uma sibheka imiphumela yocwaningo lukathisha waseMelika nochwepheshe bezokuxhumana uKeo Stark, liwukuthi sijabula kakhulu lapho sikhuluma nabantu esingabazi, ngisho noma siqiniseka kusengaphambili ukuthi ngeke sikwazi ukukubekezelela. Lesi sihloko singalethwa kalula enkingeni yokwephulwa kwemingcele, ukuhlukunyezwa komgwaqo okungenangqondo, kodwa u-Keo Stark ngokushesha wenza kucace ukuthi lokhu akukona mayelana nokuhlasela okunonya kwendawo yomuntu siqu - akahambisani nezenzo ezinjalo.
Encwadini yakhe ethi When Strangers Meet, uthi indlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nezindlela ezingajabulisi nezicasulayo zokusebenzelana phakathi kwabantu ongabazi iwukukhuthaza nokuthuthukisa isiko lobuhlobo elisekelwe ekuzweleni nasekuzwelaneni. Ukwenqaba umqondo wokuxhumana nabantu ongabazi ngokuphelele kufana nokuthungatha ama-boor. Ukuhlangana nabantu ongabazi (ekushintsheni kwabo enyameni efanele, kucacisa u-Keo Stark) “kube yizindawo zokuma ezinhle nezingalindelekile endleleni yokuphila evamile, ebikezelwayo ... Ngokungazelelwe unemibuzo obucabanga ukuthi usuvele uyazazi izimpendulo zayo.”
Ngaphezu kokwesaba okunesisekelo esihle sokunukubezwa, umqondo wokuhileleka ezingxoxweni ezinjalo uyasivala, mhlawumbe ngoba ufihla izinkinga ezimbili ezivamile ezisivimbela ukuba sijabule.
Siyawulandela umthetho yize singawuthandi ngoba sicabanga ukuthi abanye bayawuvumela.
Okokuqala ukuthi sibi "ekubikezelweni okusebenzayo", okungukuthi, asikwazi ukubikezela ukuthi yini ezosijabulisa, "ukuthi umdlalo ufanelekile ikhandlela". Lapho abacwaningi becela amavolontiya ukuba acabange ukuthi akhuluma nabantu angabazi esitimeleni noma ebhasini, ayethuka kakhulu. Lapho becelwa ukuba bakwenze ekuphileni kwangempela, babevame ukusho ukuthi balujabulele uhambo.
Enye inkinga isenzakalo esithi «pluralistic (multiple) ukungazi», ngenxa yokuthi silandela umthetho othile, nakuba kungahambisani nathi, ngoba sikholelwa ukuthi abanye bayayivuma. Phakathi naleso sikhathi, bonke abanye bacabanga ngendlela efanayo (ngamanye amazwi, akekho okholwayo, kodwa wonke umuntu ucabanga ukuthi wonke umuntu uyakholelwa). Futhi kuvele ukuthi bonke abagibeli emotweni bathule, nakuba empeleni abanye bebengenandaba nokukhuluma.
Angicabangi ukuthi abagxeki bazokwaneliswa ngazo zonke lezi zimpikiswano. Mina ngokwami angizange ngikholwe yibo, ngakho-ke imizamo yami yokugcina yokukhuluma nabantu engingabazi ayizange iphumelele kangako. Kodwa cabanga ngokubikezela okuthinta inhliziyo: ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi izibikezelo zethu azikwazi ukwethenjwa. Ngakho uqinisekile ukuthi awusoze wagqoka ethi Masikhulume? Mhlawumbe lokhu kuwuphawu nje lokuthi kungakufanelekela lokho.
Umthombo: The Guardian.
Mayelana Nombhali: U-Oliver Burkeman ungumkhulumeli waseBrithani nombhali we-Antidote. Ikhambi lempilo engajabulisi” (Eksmo, 2014).