Ukuhlukana, ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi. Okubi nakakhulu: ukushona kothandekayo. Ziningi kakhulu izimo ezikuphonsa emuzweni ojulile wembubhiso, usizi okubonakala kungekho lutho olukwazi ukukusula. Futhi nokho: isikhathi sikuwe. Kuthatha isikhathi ukulila. Lokhu kuhamba ngezigaba eziningana, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross asichaza ngo-1969, ezigulini ezazizodlula ekufeni. Khona-ke, kancane kancane, uhlobo oluthile lokuqina luzobhalisa kuwe, okukuvumela ukuba uqhubekele phambili, ukunambitha, futhi, “Umongo obalulekile wokuphila” : ngamafuphi, ukubuyela emuva. 

Ukushaqeka kokuqhuma, noma, okubi nakakhulu, ukulahlekelwa othandekayo, ekuqaleni kubangela ukukhubazeka: ubuhlungu buyakugwinya, buqede uhlobo oluthile lwe-torpor. Ulinyazwe ukulahlekelwa okungacabangeki, okungachazeki. Usezinhlungwini ezinzima.

Sonke siyalahlekelwa ekuphileni. Ukuhlukana kungathatha isikhathi eside ukuphola, oke wamthanda uzozindla emicabangweni yakho isikhathi eside. Okungcono kakhulu ukunqamula konke ukuxhumana, ukusula yonke imilayezo, ukuqeda bonke ubudlelwano. Ngamafuphi, ukukhipha imikhondo yesikhathi esedlule. Ukubuyela emuva, ukuvula ithuba lokuhlangana okusha, uthando olusha, ngokujulile nakakhulu!

Ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi nakho kudala isiphithiphithi esiphelele: ukulalela ngomusa abangani bakho noma ozakwenu kungakusiza uma usanda kuphelelwa umsebenzi. Lokhu kushintshana kuzokusiza ukuthi udlule kumcimbi futhi kungase kukuholele nasekuboneni izici ezinhle ngenxa yalokhu kulahlekelwa: ithuba, isibonelo, lokungena kwi-adventure entsha yobungcweti, noma ngisho nokuphinde uziqeqeshe emsebenzini owufundele. njalo ukuphupha.

Kodwa ukudabuka okukhulu kakhulu, okunobudlova kakhulu, umuzwa wokungabi nalutho, ngokusobala yilokho okwenzeka lapho kushona othandekayo: lapho, njengoba isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross sibhala, “Umhlaba uyabanda”.

Ngemva kokusebenza kakhulu neziguli ekupheleni kokuphila kwazo, u-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wachaza. “Izigaba ezinhlanu zokulila”. Akubona bonke abadlula kulezi zigaba ezinhlanu, futhi abalandeli ukulandelana okufanayo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Lawa mathuluzi asiza ekuboneni imizwa yakhe, ayigxilise: awazona izenzakalo ezibalulekile ezichaza ukulandelana kwezikhathi zokulila. “Ukulila ngakunye kuhlukile, njengoba ukuphila ngakunye kuhlukile”, kukhumbula isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Ukwakhela phezu kwalezi zigaba ezinhlanu, kokuba “Ulwazi olungcono ngesimo sokulila”, siyokuhlomela kangcono ukubhekana nokuphila ... nokufa.

• Ukuphika : kufana nokungakholwa, ukwenqaba ukukholelwa eqinisweni lokulahlekelwa.
• Intukuthelo : kungathatha izinhlobo ezahlukene, futhi kubalulekile enqubweni yokwelapha. “Kufanele ukwamukele, ngisho noma kubonakala kungafuni ukwehlisa umoya”, kubhala u-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Ngakho-ke, lapho uzizwa uthukuthele kakhulu, uzophela ngokushesha, futhi uzophulukisa ngokushesha. Intukuthelo yenza kube nokwenzeka ukuphonsa iveli phezu kwemizwa eminingi: lezi zizovezwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
• Ukuxoxisana: ukuxoxisana kungaba uhlobo lwesivumelwano sesikhashana. Kulesi sigaba sokulila, umuntu uncamela ukuphinde avakashele okwedlule kunokuhlupheka okwamanje. Ngakho-ke ucabanga zonke izinhlobo zezimo ezahlukene, “Futhi uma nje…”,uyacabanga kaningi. Lokhu kuholela ekutheni azisole ngokuthi akenzanga ngendlela ehlukile. Ngokushintsha okwedlule, ingqondo yakha ama-hypotheses abonakalayo. Kodwa ubuhlakani buhlala bugcina ngokuphetha ngeqiniso elibuhlungu.
• I-Depression : ngemuva kokuxoxisana, isihloko sibuyela kumanje kungazelelwe. “Umuzwa wokungabi nalutho uyasihlasela futhi siphathwa usizi, olukhulu, nobuhlungu kakhulu kunanoma yini ebesingayicabanga”, kusho u-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Lesi sikhathi sokucindezeleka sibonakala singenathemba: nokho, asisayini ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo. Ukuze usize umuntu obhekene nalesi sigaba sosizi esivamile ngemva kokuhlukana noma ukulahlekelwa, ngokuvamile kungcono kakhulu ukwazi ukulalelisisa, kuyilapho uthule.
• Ukwamukela: Ngokuphambene nenkolelo evamile, ukwamukela akuphathelene nokubhekana nokunyamalala kothandekayo, ukuhlukana, noma ukulahlekelwa. Ngakho-ke akekho oke akhohlwe ukushonelwa othandekayo. “Lesi sinyathelo sihlanganisa ukwamukela ukuthi lowo esimthandayo akasekho ngokwenyama, nokuvuma ukuthi lesi simo sihlala njalo”, kusho u-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Umhlaba wethu usuguquliwe unomphela, kufanele sizijwayeze nawo. Impilo iyaqhubeka: sekuyisikhathi sokuthi siphole, kumele sifunde ukuphila, ngaphandle kokuba khona komuntu esimthandayo eceleni kwethu, noma ngaphandle komsebenzi osilahlekele. Isikhathi sokuthi siphinde sibuye!

Ukulila, ukulahlekelwa, yizinhlekelele ezingokomzwelo. Ukuze ubuyele emuva, uzodinga ukwazi ukuthi ungayinikeza kanjani imizwa yakho ikhefu. Kuyisivivinyo esinzima ukwamukela izinto njengoba zinjalo. Usahlushwa ukuhlukana noma ukulahlekelwa. Usesendaweni yemizwa engakaze ibonwe ...

Yini-ke okufanele uyenze? Gxila emisebenzini eyenza ukunethezeka. Njengokuchitha isikhathi nabangane, ukujoyina iqembu lokusekela ... "Nquma ukuthi yini ekunika ikhefu elingokomzwelo futhi uhlanganyele kule misebenzi ngaphandle kokuzahlulela: hamba uye kumafilimu futhi ubalekele kumamuvi, uphakamisa u-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, lalela umculo, shintsha indawo, thatha uhambo, thatha uhambo ngemvelo, noma ungenzi lutho ”.

Ukungalingani kwenzeke empilweni yakho: kuzohlala kunjalo isikhashana. Yebo, kuzothatha isikhathi. Kodwa ekugcineni uzothola ibhalansi entsha. Udokotela wengqondo u-Boris Cyrulnik ubiza ukuqina: leli khono lokuphila, ukuthuthukisa, ukunqoba ukushaqeka okubuhlungu, ubunzima. Ukuqina, ngokusho kwakhe, "Intwasahlobo eseduze lapho ibhekene namagalelo okuba khona".

Futhi ngo-Boris Cyrulnik, “Ukuqina kungaphezu kokumelana, nokufunda ukuphila”. Isazi esikhulu sobunzima bokuphila, isazi sefilosofi u-Emil Cioran ukuqinisekisile ukuthi“umuntu akabi ovamile ngaphandle kokujeziswa”. Ukuphahlazeka ngakunye, isilonda ngasinye sempilo yethu, kubangela ukuguquka kwesimo kithi. Ekugcineni, abalimele bomphefumulo bayakhula, ngendlela eseduze, "Ifilosofi entsha yobukhona".