«Mimosa», «Olivier» futhi bonke ubuso efanayo izihlobo - ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala sengathi njalo Year New sigubha simo esifanayo, futhi kuba yisicefe. Kodwa ukugcina amasiko kusinikeza ukwesekwa okunamandla futhi kusisiza sizizwe sibasha, kubhala udokotela wezifo zengqondo uKimberly Kay.
Ukugcina amasiko eholide kubaluleke kakhulu empilweni yethu yengqondo - kubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho esingakucabanga. Mhlawumbe asifuni ukubona umndeni ngesikhathi samaholide futhi sikhumbula ngokudabuka okukhulu indlela intsha yethu ecasukile eyavukela ngayo embuthanweni womndeni olandelayo - ngendlela, intsha ebhikishayo ngokusobala yavuka kwabanye abantu abadala etafuleni lethu elivamile. Kodwa umuzwa omangalisayo "wokuhamba kwesikhathi" ngokuvuswa kwezinkumbulo zethu zobuntwana kuyisipho esihle kithi, ngoba kusiza ukuzwa okungenani ukuhlala unomphela empilweni.
Ngamanye amazwi, amasiko asenza sizizwe sibasha. Banikeza ukwesekwa nenjongo ekuphileni kwethu, kusho umeluleki kanye nodokotela wokusebenza kwengqondo uKimberly Kay. Baze bagcine inkumbulo yethu isebenza, njengoba bevula ngokuzenzakalela izinkumbulo ezihlangene zokuhlangenwe nakho kwangaphambilini kusukela ezigabeni zokuqala zokuthuthuka. Ngokwesibonelo, ebuntwaneni sasazi ukuthi akufanele sithinte isitofu ngenkathi ikhekhe likaNcibijane libhakwa, futhi kamuva sesivele siziphekela thina.
UKimberly Kay ukhumbula ezama ukuvukela isiko unyaka indodakazi yakhe eyashiya ngawo iholidi likayise. Lona wesifazane wayekhathazekile ngesehlukaniso sakamuva futhi wayenesizungu kakhulu. Umngane weza kuye evela kwelinye idolobha futhi wasekela «icebo lokuvukela» - ukushiya izitsha zendabuko futhi udle i-sushi kuphela.
Nokho, leli cebo labhuntsha. U-Kay ushayele zonke izikhungo eziseduze futhi akatholanga neyodwa indawo yokudlela evuliwe ye-sushi. Nasesuphamakethe kwakungekho ngisho nelilodwa iroll. Ngemva kokusesha isikhathi eside, kwatholakala indawo yokudlela yezinhlanzi esemfashinini, evuliwe ngalo kanye leli holide. Abesifazane babhukha itafula, kodwa ngaso leso sikhathi kwavela ukuthi ngalolu suku, ngokulandela amasiko, abapheki izinhlanzi ekhishini, kodwa izitsha ezifanayo zendabuko njengakuyo yonke imindeni.
Ngemva kweminyaka, uKay ubhekisela kulokho okuhlangenwe nakho ngokuthi «isibusiso esifihliwe» esamduduza ezingeni lokuquleka, lapho nje edinga induduzo nokusekelwa. “Kuyamangaza ukuthi sivame ukuhoxa kubantu nasezintweni ngesikhathi esizidinga ngaso kakhulu,” kubhala yena. “Yebo, ukuxoxa nomngane kwakuseseka nakakhulu, futhi sobabili sahleka iqiniso lokuthi asikwazanga ukubalekela isidlo sakusihlwa somkhosi.”
Ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala sengathi siphoqeleka ukubekezelela amasiko, kodwa izinzuzo zawo zifihliwe ekuqapheleni kwethu. Kwezinye izimo, sikhala ngokulahlekelwa abathandekayo, bese sigcina amasiko avamile amaholide kwenza kube nokwenzeka "ukwandisa" ubukhona babo ekuphileni kwethu.
Kulo nyaka singenza uphaya weklabishi ngokweresiphi kaGogo. Futhi vuselela ezingxoxweni zenkumbulo naye mayelana nendlela yokwenza ukugcwalisa ngendlela efanele. Singakhumbula ukuthi wafaka i-apula ku-mimosa, ngoba umkhulu wakhe wayeyithanda, futhi ugogo wakhe wayehlale epheka ijusi ye-cranberry. Singacabanga ngabo bonke esibathandayo abangasekho nathi, nalabo abakude nathi. Ukuze ukhumbule ubuntwana bakho futhi utshele izingane zakho ngakho, kanye nabo ukupheka izitsha zeholide zendabuko zomndeni wethu.
“Uthando lwalezi zinkumbulo lukhanya ngokugqamile kangangokuthi ngiluzwa lushisa ubuhlungu besikhathi esidlule futhi lukhulise imbewu engapheli yothando nokubonga ngezikhathi ezimnandi,” kubhala uKay.
Ucwaningo lwengqondo lubonisa ukuthi ithuba «lokuhamba kwesikhathi» esilithola ngokugcina amasiko namasiko, ngomqondo othile, lisikhumbuza ubuntwana. Ngakho-ke ake iminyaka yokukhathazeka ihlehle ngemuva kwayo yonke le ngxabano kaNcibijane neholide likaKhisimusi futhi sizoba basha - kokubili emphefumulweni nasemzimbeni.
Mayelana Nombhali: U-Kimberly Kay uyi-psychotherapist, umeluleki kanye nomlamuleli.