Okuqukethwe
Ingabe kuwufanele ukwenza umzamo wokuhlomisa ikhaya lesikhashana? Ingabe kuyadingeka ukuchitha izinsiza ekudaleni induduzo "lapha futhi manje", lapho sazi ukuthi isimo sizoshintsha ngemva kwesikhathi esithile? Mhlawumbe ikhono nesifiso sokuzenzela induduzo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isimo sinjani, kunomphumela omuhle esimweni sethu - kokubili ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba.
Lapho ethuthela efulethini eliqashiwe, uMarina wathukuthela: umpompi wawuvuza, amakhethini "akagogo", futhi umbhede wema ukuze ukukhanya kwasekuseni kuwele ngqo emcamelweni futhi akumvumeli ukuba alale. “Kodwa lokhu okwesikhashana! — wawaphikisa amazwi okuthi konke kungalungiswa. “Akusilona ifulethi lami leli, isikhashana ngilapha!” Isivumelwano sokuqala sokuqashisa senziwa, njengoba kuvamise ukuba njalo, ngokushesha unyaka. Sekudlule iminyaka eyishumi. Usahlala kulelo fulethi.
Lapho sifuna ukuzinza, sivame ukuphuthelwa izikhathi ezibalulekile ezingashintsha impilo yethu ibe ngcono namuhla, ilethe induduzo eyengeziwe ekuphileni, ekugcineni okuyoba nomthelela omuhle emoyeni wethu futhi, mhlawumbe, nenhlalakahle.
AmaBuddha akhuluma ngokungaphenduki kokuphila. U-Heraclitus uhlonishwa ngamagama athi konke kugeleza, konke kuyashintsha. Uma sibheka emuva, ngamunye wethu angaliqinisekisa leli qiniso. Kodwa ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi isikhashana asifanele imizamo yethu, akufanele yini siyenze ibe ntofontofo, elula? Kungani isikhathi esifushane sokuphila kwethu singabalulekile kunesikhathi eside sakho?
Kubonakala sengathi abaningi abajwayele ukuzinakekela lapha futhi manje. Njengamanje, thola okungcono kakhulu - hhayi okubiza kakhulu, kodwa okulula kakhulu, hhayi okusemfashinini kakhulu, kodwa okuwusizo kakhulu, okulungile kokunethezeka kwakho ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba. Mhlawumbe siyavilapha, futhi sikufihla ngezaba nangemicabango ephusile mayelana nokumosha izinsiza ngesikhathi.
Kodwa ingabe induduzo ngaso sonke isikhathi ayibalulekile kangako? Ngezinye izikhathi kuthatha izinyathelo ezimbalwa ezilula ukuthuthukisa isimo. Yiqiniso, akunangqondo ukutshala imali eningi ekulungiseni indawo yokuhlala eqashiwe. Kodwa ukulungisa umpompi esiwusebenzisa nsuku zonke kuwukuwenza ube ngcono kithina.
Akufanele uye kude kakhulu futhi ucabange kuphela ngenganekwane ethile “kamuva”
UGurgen Khachaturian, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo
Umlando we-Marina, ngendlela ochazwe ngayo lapha, ugcwele izingqimba ezimbili ezingokwengqondo ezinezici eziningi zesikhathi sethu. Esokuqala yi-life syndrome ehlehlisiwe: "Manje sizosebenza ngesivinini esisheshayo, songe imoto, indawo yokuhlala, futhi ngemva kwalokho siyohlala, sihambe, sizakhele ukunethezeka."
Owesibili uzinzile futhi ngezindlela eziningi amaphethini aseSoviet, amaphethini lapho empilweni yamanje, lapha namanje, akukho ndawo yokududuza, kodwa kukhona okufana nokuhlupheka, ukuhlushwa. Futhi nokungafuni ukutshala inhlalakahle yakho yamanje kanye nesimo esihle sengqondo ngenxa yokwesaba kwangaphakathi ukuthi kusasa le mali ingase ingasekho.
Ngakho-ke, sonke, yiqiniso, kufanele siphile lapha futhi manje, kodwa ngokubheka okuthile phambili. Awukwazi ukutshala zonke izinsiza zakho kuphela enhlalakahleni yamanje, futhi umqondo ophusile uphakamisa ukuthi indawo egciniwe yesikhathi esizayo nayo kufanele ishiywe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuya kude futhi ucabange kuphela ngenganekwane ethile "kamuva", ukukhohlwa ngesikhathi samanje, nakho akufanelekile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, akekho owaziyo ukuthi ikusasa liyoba njani.
"Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi siyazinika yini ilungelo lalesi sikhala noma siphile, sizama ukungathathi isikhala esiningi"
Anastasia Gurneva, gestalt Therapist
Uma lokhu bekuwukubonisana kwengqondo, bengizocacisa amaphuzu ambalwa.
- Kuhamba kanjani ukuthuthukiswa kwekhaya? Ingabe benziwa ukuthi banakekele umuzi noma bona ngokwabo? Uma kumayelana nawe, khona-ke kuwufanele ngempela, futhi uma ukuthuthukiswa kwendlu kwenziwa, khona-ke kuyiqiniso, kungani utshala imali komunye umuntu.
- Uphi umngcele phakathi kwesikhashana kanye ... yini, ngendlela? "Phakade", okuphakade? Ingabe lokho kuyenzeka? Ingabe ukhona oneziqinisekiso? Kwenzeka ukuthi izindlu eziqashiwe "zidlula" eyakhe ngokwenani leminyaka ehlala lapho. Futhi uma indlu ingeyona eyakho, kodwa, yithi, insizwa, ingabe kufanelekile ukutshala imali kuyo? Ingabe kungokwesikhashana noma cha?
- Isikali somnikelo wokunethezeka kwendawo. Ukuhlanza masonto onke kuyamukeleka, kodwa ukwenza iphepha lodonga akunjalo? Ukugoqa empompini ngendwangu kuyisilinganiso esifanele sokunakekela induduzo, kodwa ukubiza i-plumber akunjalo? Ulele kuphi lo mngcele?
- Uphi umkhawulo wokubekezelela ukungaphatheki kahle? Kuyaziwa ukuthi umshini wokuzijwayeza uyasebenza: lezo zinto ezilimaza iso futhi ezibangela ukungakhululeki ekuqaleni kokuphila efulethini azibonakali ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngokuvamile, lokhu kuyinqubo ewusizo. Yini engamelana naye? Ukubuyisela ukuzwela emizweni yakho, ukuze uthole induduzo kanye nokungakhululeki ngokusebenzisa imikhuba yokucabangela.
Ungakwazi ukumba ujule: ingabe umuntu uzinika ilungelo lesi sikhala noma aphile, ezama ukungathathi indawo enkulu, aneliseke ngalokho anakho? Ingabe uyazivumela ukuba aphikelele ekwenzeni izinguquko, aguqule izwe elimzungezile ngokubona kwakhe? Ukuchitha amandla, isikhathi nemali ukwenza isikhala sizizwe njengekhaya, ukudala induduzo nokugcina ukuxhumana nendawo yokuhlala?
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Namuhla, indlu kaMarina ibukeka ithokomele, futhi uzizwa ekhululekile lapho. Phakathi nale minyaka eyishumi, wayenomyeni owayelungisa umpompi, wakhetha amakhethini amasha naye futhi wahlela kabusha ifenisha. Kwavela ukuthi kwakungenzeka ukuchitha imali engaka ngakho. Kodwa manje bayakujabulela ukuba sekhaya, futhi izimo zamuva ziye zabonisa ukuthi lokhu kungaba okubaluleke kakhulu.