Okuqukethwe
Indlela esiziphatha ngayo ithinta indlela esizizwa ngayo. Ukuzeyisa, ukuzigxeka ngokweqile kungaholela ekucindezelekeni, ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa ngisho nokugula ngokomzimba. Bhekani: Uyazenzela wena ongakwenzela umngani wakho omkhulu?
Sonke siyakufanelekela ukuphathwa ngokuqonda nangenhlonipho. Yilokhu esikulindele kwabanye. Kodwa kufanele uqale ngawe! Okuxakayo ukuthi, imvamisa siphatha (futhi sikhulume) nathi ngendlela ebesingeke siyenze nezihlobo, abangani, ngisho nalabo esibajwayele: ngonya nangokugxeka.
Kulula kwabaningi ukuvuma amaphutha abo kunokufaneleka kwabo. Futhi akuphephile: ukuzethemba okuphansi kudala izimfuneko zokucindezeleka nokukhathazeka. Akusona yini isikhathi sokushintsha isimo sakho sengqondo ngawe sibe ngcono?
1. Cabangela iqiniso
Angeke sikwazi ukushintsha esingakuboni. Ukuzibheka kuwumbandela odingekayo ukuze wenze okuthile. Uma sifuna ukuyeka ukuzehlisa, kumelwe siqonde ukuthi sikwenza kanjani. Kulula ukuhlola umbono walelo zwi elingaphakathi ukuze uhlolisise umbono walelo zwi elingaphakathi elilulaza ukufaneleka kwethu futhi libonise ukushiyeka.
Nokho, leli zwi liwukubonakaliswa nje kokuzethemba okuphansi. Futhi kuhlobene nanoma yini ngaphandle kweqiniso. Ngokufunda ukubona nokuhlola kahle lezi zitatimende, ungashintsha indlela ozizwa ngayo ngawe.
2. Khuluma Ngawe Ngenhlonipho
Ukuhlala ubukela phansi amathalente akho kanye nezinto ozifezile, ukukhuluma ngendlela ehlambalazayo ngawe, ukugwema noma yikuphi ukunakwa, ukuhlakulela isizotha… Lena indlela enhle yokugcina ukuzethemba okuphansi. Amazwi abalulekile, ayithinta ngokujulile indlela esibona ngayo kanye nendlela esibabheka ngayo abanye.
Ngakho-ke, qala ukukhuluma ngawe kanye nezindaba zakho, ugweme noma yini ekuveza njengesisulu noma isihluleki esingapheli. Yamukela izincomo ngaphandle kokubeka izaba noma ukuphika ukufaneleka. Vuma ukuqanjwa kwemibono emihle.
Noma yini ebhalwa ngokuthethelela ngokuvamile ibhekisela kwabanye kuqala. Kodwa kubalulekile ngokufanayo ukufunda ukuzithethelela.
Zibongele ngempumelelo yakho. Qaphela umkhuba wokucabanga kabi ngawe bese uthi “qamba amanga!” emicabangweni enjalo. njalo uma bekhuphuka. Zisuse ngokucabanga ngesakho isithombe esihle.
3. Zitholele inkanyezi kuwe
U-Albert Einstein wayekholelwa ukuthi wonke umuntu uhlakaniphile emkhakheni wabo. Ukucula, ukupheka, ukugijima, ukubhala izincwadi, ukusekela abanye… Uma sibonisa ikhono, siveza ukukhazimula kwenkanyezi ehlala ngaphakathi kwethu futhi kukhanye ukwethembana, ukukhanga, ukuzethemba nolwazi.
Lapho siqaphela ngokwengeziwe ithalente lethu elikhethekile, yilapho siliveza ngokwengeziwe—imvamisa ngaphandle kobunzima, ngoba liyajabulisa—futhi indawo yangaphakathi yokuzethemba iyakhula. Thola ukuthi liyini ithalente lakho langempela futhi ubeke eceleni isikhathi ohlelweni lwakho ukuze uzinikele kulo.
4. Zithethelele
Noma yini ebhalwa ngokuthethelela ngokuvamile ibhekisela kwabanye kuqala. Kodwa kubalulekile ngokufanayo ukufunda ukuzithethelela. Ngokwenza lokhu, sibuyisela ukubaluleka kwethu emehlweni ethu futhi sizizwe sikhululeke kakhudlwana lapho abanye besibhekile.
Khumbula isigameko esikwenza uzisole. Phinda uyikhumbule kanye nomongo, okuhlanganisa indawo, isikhathi, indawo ezungezile, nemizwa yakho nesimo somqondo ngaleso sikhathi. Hlukanisa lokho okungaba ngenxa yezimo kanye nabanye ababambiqhaza emicimbini kulokho okuncike kuwe ngempela.
Thatha iziphetho ezidingekayo kulokhu ngekusasa, bese uzithethelela ngokusuka ekujuleni kwenhliziyo yakho - ngobuqotho njengoba ubungathethelela umuntu omkhathalelayo. Wenze obengakwenza ngaleso sikhathi, futhi asikho isidingo sokuthwala umthwalo wesikhathi esidlule.
5. Siza abanye
Ukuzizwa udingeka kunenzuzo kakhulu ekukhuliseni ukuzethemba. Thatha umthwalo wemfanelo wesikhashana wenhlalakahle yalabo abazithola besesimeni esinzima, ivolontiya noma babelane ngolwazi, badlulise ulwazi ...
Kuyinzuzo ukuzethemba ukuqaphela ukuthi uzwela lwethu olusebenzayo, ukunganaki, amazwi, kanye nokuba khona ngokwakho kuyaduduza futhi kusize abanye. Ikakhulukazi uma singakubukeli phansi ukubaluleka kwezenzo zethu futhi singenzi isikhundla "senceku ezinikele". Nikeza usizo, isikhathi, nezeluleko njengokulinganayo, okulula, nangesithunzi.
6. Ngena kwezemidlalo
Inani elikhulu lezifundo liqinisekise ukuxhumana phakathi kokuzethemba nokuzivocavoca. Ukugijima, ukuhamba ngokushesha, ukubhukuda, ukugijima kwamahhashi, ukushushuluza eqhweni, ukudansa, isibhakela… Konke lokhu kusibuyisela emzimbeni futhi kusisiza ukuba sizizwe sishesha futhi sinamandla.
Ubumina buyingxenye eminyene, egxilile yomuntu, inhliziyo yomuntu.
Ukuzethemba kuyenyuka, futhi sizizwa sikwazi ukuhlonipha insimu yethu. Ingasaphathwa eyokuthi ukudlala imidlalo kulawula isimo somzwelo futhi kuthuthukisa izinga lokulala. Bese sizizwa singcono "esikhumbeni sethu" futhi sibe nokuzethemba okwengeziwe.
7. Yazisa ingqikithi yakho
Kunamaqiniso, imiphumela (amaphutha kanye nempumelelo), izimo, izehlakalo zempilo - futhi kukhona into ejule kakhulu. Kukhona ngaphezulu futhi kukhona ukujula. Kukhona u-“Mina” (okwesikhashana, ongaphelele, ngaphansi kwethonya lezimo), futhi kukhona “Ubumina”: ngokukaJung, lesi isamba sakho konke ukubonakaliswa kwethu okuthile.
Ubumina buyingxenye eminyene, egxilile yomuntu, inhliziyo yomuntu. Lokhu ukubaluleka kwayo, ngakho udinga ukuyinakekela futhi uyihloniphe. Ukudelela, ukunganaki kanye nokululaza ingqikithi yomuntu kungaba ukuphatha kabi imvelo yomuntu. Qala ukulalela izidingo zakho, ube nesithakazelo ezifisweni, uzihloniphe, khona-ke abanye bazozihlonipha.
Ekulungiseni lesi sihloko, izinto zokwakha zasetshenziswa u-Allison Abrams, udokotela wezifo zengqondo, umbhali wekholomu ethi “Caring for Self-Compassion” ku-psychologytoday.com, kanye noGlenn Shiraldi, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, umbhali wencwadi ethi Ten Solutions for Improving Self-Esteem (Dix Solutions). pour accroître l'estime de soi, Broquet , 2009).