Okuqukethwe
"Izithandani zami azizange zimelane nokuzalwa kwamawele ami ..."
“Ngathola ngo-2007 ukuthi ngikhulelwe. Ngisikhumbula kahle leso sikhathi, sasinobudlova. Uma uthatha ukuhlolwa kokukhulelwa, okuyinto enhle, ngokushesha ucabanga into eyodwa: ukhulelwe "ingane" yengane. Ngakho ekhanda lami, ukuya ku-ultrasound yokuqala, ngangilindele ingane. Ngaphandle kokuthi udokotela ohlola imisebe wasitshela, mina nobaba ukuthi kwakunezingane ezimbili! Kwabe sekufika ukushaqeka. Sake sahlangana sodwa sathi sodwa kumnandi kodwa sizokwenza kanjani? Sazibuza imibuzo eminingi: ukushintsha imoto, indawo yokuhlala, ukuthi sizobaphatha kanjani abasacathula ababili ... Yonke imibono yokuqala, lapho sicabanga ukuthi sizoba nengane eyodwa, iwele emanzini. Bengisakhathazekile, bekumele ngithenge i-double stroller, emsebenzini, bazothini abaphathi bami... Ngokushesha ngacabanga ngenhlangano ewusizo yokuphila kwansuku zonke nokwamukela izingane.
Ukulethwa okuphumelelayo nokubuyela ekhaya
Ngokusobala sinobaba, sabona ngokushesha ukuthi indawo esihlala kuyona yayingahambisani nokufika kwamawele.. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngesikhathi ngikhulelwe, kwenzeka okuthile okunamandla kimi: Ngangikhathazeke kakhulu ngoba ngangingezwa enye yezingane inyakaza. Ngangikholelwa ekufeni kwesibeletho komunye walaba ababili, kwakubi kakhulu. Ngenhlanhla, lapho silindele amawele, silandelwa njalo, ama-ultrasound asondelene kakhulu. Lokhu kwangiqinisa idolo kakhulu. Ubaba wayekhona impela, wayengiphelezela njalo. Kwabe sekuzalwa u-Inoa no-Eglantine, ngabeletha nginamasonto angu-35 nezinsuku ezinhlanu. Konke kuhambe kahle kakhulu. Ubaba wayekhona, ehilelekile, noma ngabe ubumfihlo bebungekho endaweni yokuhlangana ewodini lababelethayo. Baningi abantu ngesikhathi sokubeletha nangemuva kokubeletha lapho ebeletha amawele.
Lapho sifika ekhaya, konke kwase kumi ngomumo ukwamukela izingane: imibhede, amagumbi okulala, amabhodlela, impahla kanye nemishini. Ubaba wayesebenza kancane, wayekhona nathi ngenyanga yokuqala. Wangisiza kakhulu, waphatha izinto eziningi, njengokuthenga, ukudla, wayesenhlanganweni, emncane ekukhuliseni izingane. Njengoba ngenza ukudla okuxubile, ukuncelisa kanye nokuncelisa ibhodlela, wanikeza ibhodlela ebusuku, wavuka, ukuze ngiphumule.
I-libido eyengeziwe
Ngokushesha, inkinga enkulu yaqala ukuthwala umbhangqwana, futhi lokho kwakuwukuntula kwami i-libido. Ngangikhule ngo-37 kg ngesikhathi ngikhulelwe. Ngangingasawazi umzimba wami, ikakhulukazi isisu sami. Ngagcina imikhondo yesisu sami esikhulelwe isikhathi eside, okungenani izinyanga eziyisithupha. Ngokusobala, ngase ngilahlekelwe ukuzethemba kimi, njengowesifazane, nobulili noyise wezingane. Ngazihlukanisa kancane kancane nobulili. Ezinyangeni zokuqala eziyisishiyagalolunye, akwenzekanga lutho ekuphileni kwethu okuseduze. Khona-ke, sathatha ubulili, kodwa kwakuhlukile. Ngangiyinkimbinkimbi, ngathola i-episiotomy, yangivimba ngokocansi. Ubaba waqala ukungisola ngakho. Mina ngokwami angiwatholanga amazwi afanele okuchaza inkinga yami kuye. Eqinisweni, nganginezikhalo eziningi kunokuphelezelwa nokuqonda okuvela kuye. Khona-ke, ngandlela-thile, saba nesikhathi esimnandi, ikakhulukazi lapho singekho endlini, lapho siya emaphandleni. Ngokushesha nje lapho sikwenye indawo, ngaphandle kwendlu, futhi ikakhulukazi ekuphileni kwansuku zonke, sobabili satholana. Sasinomoya okhululekile, savuselela izinto ngokwenyama kalula. Naphezu kwakho konke, isikhathi sokusolwa kwami siye sathinta ubuhlobo bethu. Wayekhungathekile njengendoda futhi ngasohlangothini lwami ngangigxile endimeni yami njengomama. Kuyiqiniso, ngangitshalwe kakhulu njengomama namadodakazi ami. Kodwa ubuhlobo bami babungaseyona into eza kuqala kimi. Kwaba nokuhlukana phakathi kwami nobaba, ikakhulukazi njengoba ngangizizwa ngikhathele kakhulu, ngaleso sikhathi ngangisebenza emkhakheni ocindezela kakhulu. Uma ngibheka emuva, Ngiyabona ukuthi angikaze ngilahle indima yami njengowesifazane okhuthele, njengomama, bengihola yonke into. Kodwa kwaba yingozi enkulu endimeni yami njengowesifazane. Ngangingasenasithakazelo ekuphileni kwami komshado. Ngangigxile endimeni yami njengomama ophumelelayo nasemsebenzini wami. Bengikhuluma ngalokho kuphela. Futhi njengoba ungeke ube phezulu kuzo zonke izindawo, ngidele ukuphila kwami njengomuntu wesifazane. Ngangibona okuningi noma okuncane okwenzekayo. Eminye imikhuba yathatha amandla, asibange sisaba nayo impilo yomshado. Wangazisa ngezinkinga zethu eziseduze, wayedinga ucansi. Kodwa ngangingasenandaba nala mazwi noma kwezobulili nje jikelele.
Ngangikhathele
Ngo-2011, kwadingeka ngikhiphe isisu, ngemva kokukhulelwa kusencane “ngengozi”. Sithathe isinqumo sokuthi singayigcini, uma sibheka isimo ebesibhekene naso namawele. Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi kuqhubeke, ngangingasafuni ukuya ocansini, kimina kwakusho “ukukhulelwa”. Njengebhonasi, ukubuyela emsebenzini nakho kwaba neqhaza ekuxabaneni kombhangqwana. Ekuseni ngivuke ngo 6 ekuseni ngilungise ngingakayivusi intombazanes. Nganakekela ukuphatha incwadi yokushintshisana nomzanyana kanye nobaba mayelana nezingane, ngisho nokulungisa isidlo sakusihlwa kusengaphambili ukuze umzanyana anakekele ukugeza kwamantombazane kuphela futhi awadlise ngaphambi kokubuya kwami. Kwathi ngo-8:30 ekuseni, ngisuka ngiya enkulisa noma esikoleni, futhi ngo-9:15 ekuseni, ngafika ehhovisi. Ngangifika ekhaya cishe ngo-19:30 pm Ngo-20:20 ntambama, ngokuvamile, amantombazane abesembhedeni, futhi sadla isidlo sakusihlwa nobaba ngabo-30:22 pm Ekugcineni, ngo-30: 2014 pm, umnqamulajuqu wokugcina, Ngalala ngalala. ukulala. Bekuyisigqi sami sansuku zonke, kwaze kwaba ngu-XNUMX, unyaka engabhekana ngawo nokutubeka. Ngaquleka ngobunye kusihlwa ngiphuma emsebenzini, ngikhathele ngikhathele, ngiphelelwa umoya ngenxa yalesi sigqi esihlanyayo phakathi nempilo yobungcweti neyomuntu siqu. Ngithathe ilivu ende yokugula, ngabe sengishiya inkampani yami futhi ngisesikhathini sokungasebenzi okwamanje. Ngithatha isikhathi sami sokuzindla ngezigameko ezedlule zeminyaka emithathu edlule. Namuhla, ngicabanga ukuthi engikukhumbule kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bami yizinto ezilula ekugcineni: ububele, usizo lwansuku zonke, nokusekelwa ngubaba. Isikhuthazo, amagama anjengokuthi “ungakhathazeki, kuzolunga, sizofika lapho”. Noma ukuze angibambe ngesandla, ukuthi athi kimi "Ngilapha, umuhle, ngiyakuthanda", kaningi. Kunalokho, wayengidlulisela njalo emfanekisweni walo mzimba omusha, kumakhilogremu ami engeziwe, wangiqhathanisa nabanye besifazane, okwathi ngemva kokuba nabantwana, babelokhu bengowesifazane futhi bezacile. Kodwa ekugcineni, ngicabanga ukuthi ngase ngiphelelwe ukumethemba, ngacabanga ukuthi wayenecala. Mhlawumbe bekufanele ngibone ukuncipha ngaleso sikhathi, ngingalindi ukutubeka. Bengingenamuntu engizokhuluma naye, imibuzo yami ibisalindile. Ekugcineni, kuba sengathi isikhathi sisehlukanisile, nami nginomthwalo wemfanelo ngakho, ngamunye wethu unesabelo sakhe somthwalo wemfanelo, ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukene.
Ekugcineni, ngifika ekucabangeni ukuthi kumnandi ukuba namantombazane, amawele, kodwa kunzima kakhulu futhi. Umbhangqwana kufanele uqine, uqine ukuze udlule kulokhu. Futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke ukuthi wonke umuntu uyakwamukela ukuphazamiseka ngokomzimba, kwamahomoni nangokwengqondo lokhu okumelela ”.