Isikhathi sokuthomba yisikhathi lapho amahomoni abilayo, lapho amantombazane amancane ethola uthando nocansi. Isikhathi esibalulekile sokulinga, ngaphansi kokubheka ngokucophelela nangomusa kwabazali babo. Bangase bakhathazeke, ngakho kuyathakazelisa ukukwazi ukuxoxisana futhi uveze ukwesaba kwakho.

Ngokuka-Andréa Cauchoix, Umqeqeshi Wothando, kuyajabulisa ukuthi abazali babuze izizathu zokuthi kungani leli soka lingajabulisi:

• Ingabe kungenxa yokuthi unethonya elibi? Futhi kulokhu, yimaphi amanani abuzwa kulokhu kuziphatha okusha;
• Ingabe kunalokho ngezenzo intombazane eyozenza? Ngalokhu sisho ucansi, ebusuku kakhulu, ukungalali, ukuhamba, njll.

Ngesikhathi sokunikezwa kwethu isitifiketi, sifunda lesi sicelo futhi abambalwa bozakwethu baphelezele abazali nezingane zabo enkulumweni.

Kubalulekile ukuthi abesifazane abasebasha bakwazi ukuzwa ubudlelwano bothando. "Bavame ukuziphonsa ebudlelwaneni babo bokuqala futhi batshale imali eningi". Abazali bangase bamangale ngalesi sikhathi, esasichithwe ndawonye ngaphambili, sigcinelwa omunye umuntu, ngaphandle "kombuthano wokuthembana" njengoba uRobert De Niro ebiza kanjalo efilimini ethi "My stepfather and me".

Umqeqeshi wezothando ucacisa ukuthi “kuyinto evamile ukuthi ngalesi sikhathi, intombazanyana ayithambekele kangako ekuxoxeni ngezinto ezenzeka kuyo. Kuyindaba yemfihlo yakhe. Kodwa kubalulekile ukumvumela abe nakho kwakhe futhi ahloniphe ukukhetha kwakhe. Inqobo nje uma bengayibeki impilo yakhe engcupheni ”.

Uma abazali befisa ukuveza indaba, mhlawumbe intombazanyana kufanele inikwe isikhathi sokuza kubo. Mnikeze indawo yokuziveza, akhulume ngalobu budlelwano.

“Mhlawumbe leli soka linezinto ezinhle abazali abangaziboni. Kumele bakhombise ilukuluku nokuvuleka komqondo ukuze bathole lo mfana omncane. Mhlawumbe bangabuza intombazane ukuthi yini eyithandayo ngaye. Bangase bamangale ngempendulo ”.

Ngaphandle kokusebenzisa ibinzana elidumile elithi “kodwa ucabangani ngaye? », Ngakho-ke weluleka ukubeka imizwa yakhe eceleni ukuze angene ngempela engxoxweni futhi azame ukubona isoka ngamehlo engane yakhe ngokuyilalela, ngokuyibheka.

Ngezinye izikhathi ukukhathazeka kwabazali kunesisekelo esihle futhi kuwumthwalo wabo wemfanelo ukungenelela ukuze baqede ubuhlobo obunobuthi.

Ngakho-ke u-Andréa Cauchoix ukhumbula ukuthi uma leli soka libonisa ukuziphatha:

• kuyingozi;
• ononya;
• ikhuthaza ukusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa noma utshwala;
• ukhohlisa intombazane ukuze ifeze izinjongo zayo, kungaba imali noma ucansi;
• unomehluko omkhulu kakhulu ngeminyaka noma ukuvuthwa;
• kumthatha kude nabangane bakhe, nomndeni wakhe, umhlukanise kancane kancane.

Kulezi zimo ezihlukene, kubalulekile ukungenelela. Ingxoxo, kwesinye isikhathi ibanga lendawo, ingaba yisixazululo esihle. Hlala ubukele futhi uhambisane nochwepheshe, uthisha, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, udokotela okhona ... Akufanele ube wedwa, ngoba osemusha ngeke ezwe amazwi abazali bakhe, kodwa abangani bakhe, uchwepheshe bangakwazi. phuma ekukhohliseni kwakhe.

Lapho intombazanyana ishintsha ukuziphatha kwayo futhi ibeka impilo yayo, isikole nobungane engozini, iba sengozini. Akasakwazi ukuqhela kulokho akunikezayo. Isoka liyamuvamisile futhi lingamenza alahlekelwe ukumethemba.

Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zikhomba ukuthi lezi zindaba zentsha isikhathi esiningi zidlula ngokushesha. Leli soka alilona ilungu lomndeni, futhi kuhle ukulihlonipha leli banga, okuzovumela intombazane ukuthi iqede ubuhlobo ngesikhathi ithanda. Umfece womndeni ukhona ukuze uqinisekise le nkululeko yokuzikhethela. Uma abazali besondelene kakhulu nomfana, intombazane iyozizwa inecala ngokuyivimba.

Ubudlelwano bakhe bubhekisa abazali ezindabeni zabo zothando, abahlangabezane nakho, ukuhlupheka nokwesaba, njengenjabulo nothando olulahlekile. Akufanele baveze noma bazame ukuzivuselela noma balungise izindaba zabo ngezingane zabo.

Ukuthola ibanga elifanele, isikhundla esinomusa nesilalelisisa, akulula. Imizwa iyaphakama. Hlala uvulekile, xoxa, futhi uvumele ukuhlolwa kukhule. Izinhlungu zenhliziyo nazo, ziyingxenye yempilo futhi ziyakha osemusha.