Okuqukethwe
Abantu abaningi abalokothi baqale amaphrojekthi amasha, bashintshe umsebenzi wabo, bavule amabhizinisi abo ngenxa yokuthi abazethembi ngamakhono abo. Bakholelwa ukuthi izithiyo nokugxambukela kwangaphandle yikona okufanele kusolwe, kodwa eqinisweni bayazikhawula, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uBeth Kerland.
Sivame ukusho kithi futhi sizwe kubangane: "Akukho okuzosebenza." Le nkulumo iqeda ukuzethemba. Kuphakama udonga olungenalutho phambi kwethu, okusiphoqa ukuthi sibuyele emuva noma sihlale endaweni. Kunzima ukuqhubekela phambili uma amagama ethathwa kalula.
"Esikhathini esiningi sokuphila kwami, bengibabaza labo abaye bazuza impumelelo: ngithole futhi basiza isintu, ngenza ibhizinisi elincane futhi ngakha umbuso, ngibhala umbhalo owenza ifilimu yehlelo, ngingesabi ukukhuluma phambi kwenhlangano. izilaleli zezinkulungwane, futhi waphinda kimi: “Ngeke ngiphumelele «. Kodwa ngolunye usuku ngacabanga ngala mazwi futhi ngabona ukuthi angivimbela ekufezeni engikufunayo,” kukhumbula uBeth Kerland.
Kudingekani ukuze kuzuzwe okungenakwenzeka? Yini ezosiza ukunqoba udonga olungenalutho lokungabaza futhi uqhubeke endleleni eya ezinhlosweni zakho? Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo siphakamisa ukuthi uqale ngezinyathelo ezinhlanu ezingashintsha impilo yakho futhi zikutshele ukuthi ungaqala kanjani ukuya phambili.
1. Qonda ukuthi umbono wakho ngawe awulona iqiniso, kodwa ukwahlulela okuyiphutha.
Sivame ukuthembela ngokuphuphutheka izwi ekhanda lethu elisitshela ukuthi nakanjani sizolahlekelwa. Silandela ukuhola kwakhe, ngoba siye saqiniseka ukuthi ngeke kube ngenye indlela. Eqinisweni, izahlulelo zethu ngokuvamile ziphenduka zibe nephutha noma zihlanekezelwe. Esikhundleni sokuphinda ukuthi ngeke uphumelele, yithi, «Lokhu kuyethusa futhi kunzima, kodwa okungenani ngizozama.
Naka ukuthi kwenzekani emzimbeni wakho uma usho lesi sisho. Zama ukuzijwayeza ukuzindla ngokucabangela, kuyindlela enhle yokulandelela imicabango yakho futhi ubone ukuthi iguquguquka kangakanani.
2. Yazi ukuthi kulungile ukwesaba into engaziwa.
Akudingekile ukulinda kuze kuphele ukungabaza, ukwesaba nokukhathazeka ukuze ukwazi ukuthatha ingozi futhi wenze lokho okuphuphayo. Ngokuvamile kubonakala kithi ukuthi imizwa engathandeki izohambisana nesinyathelo ngasinye endleleni eya emgomweni. Kodwa-ke, lapho sigxila kulokho okubaluleke ngempela nokubalulekile, kuzoba lula kakhulu ukwedlula ukungakhululeki ngokomzwelo futhi sithathe isinyathelo.
Isazi sefilosofi saseMelika u-Ambrose Redmoon sabhala: “Isibindi asikona ukungabibikho kokwesaba, kodwa siwukuqonda ukuthi kunokuthile okubaluleke ngaphezu kokwesaba.. Zibuze ukuthi yini ebaluleke kakhulu kuwe kunokwesaba nokungabaza, ngenxa yalokho ulungele ukubekezelela imizwa engathandeki.
3. Hlukanisa indlela eya emgomweni omkhulu ube yizinyathelo ezimfushane, ezifinyelelekayo.
Kunzima ukuthatha into ongenasiqiniseko ngayo. Kodwa uma uthatha izinyathelo ezincane futhi uzidumise ngempumelelo ngayinye, uzoqiniseka ngokwengeziwe. Ku-psychotherapy, inqubo yokuchayeka okuthweswe iziqu isetshenziswa ngempumelelo, lapho iklayenti kancane kancane, igxathu negxathu, ifunda ukwamukela izimo azigwemayo noma ezesabayo.
“Sekukaningi ngibubona ubunzima abantu ababhekana nabo. Ukunqoba isigaba esisodwa nokudlulela kwesinye, kancane kancane bathola amandla, okusiza ukumelana nezinselele ezintsha. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngaqiniseka kokuhlangenwe nakho kwami ukuthi kuyasebenza,” kusho uBeth Kerland.
Cabanga ukuthi yisiphi isinyathelo esincane ongasithatha namuhla noma kuleli sonto ukuze ufinyelele umgomo omkhulu nobalulekile.
4. Funa futhi ucele usizo
Ngeshwa, abantu abaningi bafundiswa kusukela ebuntwaneni ukuthi abahlakaniphile nabahlakaniphile abathembele kusizo lwanoma ubani. Ngesizathu esithile, emphakathini kubhekwa njengehlazo ukucela usizo. Eqinisweni, okuphambene kuyiqiniso: abantu abahlakaniphe kakhulu bayazi ukuthi bangathola kanjani labo abangasiza, futhi bangangabazi ukuxhumana nabo.
“Njalo lapho ngiqala umsebenzi omusha, ngangivuma ukuthi bakhona ochwepheshe abasazi kangcono lesi sihloko kunami, ngibathinte futhi ngithembele ezelulekweni zabo, amathiphu kanye nolwazi lwabo ukuze ngifunde konke okufanele ukwazi,” kusho uBeth.
5. Zilungiselele ukwehluleka
Funda, zijwayeze, qhubekela phambili nsuku zonke futhi uma kukhona okungahambi kahle, zama futhi, lungisa futhi ushintshe indlela yokwenza. Ama-Hiccups kanye nokuphuthelwa akunakugwenywa, kodwa kuthathe njengethuba lokuphinda ucabangele amaqhinga owakhethile, hhayi njengezaba zokuyeka.
Uma sibheka abantu abaphumelele siyaye sizithole sicabanga ukuthi banenhlanhla, inhlanhla yona yawela ezandleni zabo bavuka bodumo. Kuyenzeka futhi okunjalo, kodwa iningi labo liye empumelelweni iminyaka. Abaningi babo babhekana nobunzima nezingqinamba, kodwa uma bezivumela ukuba bayeke, babengasoze bafinyelela imigomo yabo.
Cabanga kusengaphambili ukuthi uzobhekana kanjani nokwehluleka okungenakugwema. Yenza uhlelo olubhaliwe ozobuyela kulo uma wehluleka. Ngokwesibonelo, bhala amagama akukhumbuza ukuthi lokhu akukona ukwehluleka, kodwa okuhlangenwe nakho okudingekile okufundise okuthile.
Ngamunye wethu uyakwazi ukushintsha umhlaba, ngamunye wethu angenza okuthile okubalulekile, udinga nje ukulokotha uthathe isinyathelo esinesibindi. Uzomangala lapho uqaphela ukuthi udonga olukhule endleleni alukwazi ukungena.
Mayelana Nombhali: U-Beth Kerland ungudokotela wezengqondo futhi ungumbhali wencwadi ethi Dancing on a Tightrope: How to Change Your Habitual Mindset futhi Uphile Ngempela.