Okuqukethwe
Wonke umuntu osebudlelwaneni udinga isikhathi sakhe (noma ngabe uyaqaphela noma cha). Ngaphezu kwalokho: ekugcineni, yikho, hhayi ukuhlanganiswa okuphelele nozakwethu, okuqinisa inyunyana. Kodwa ungakuchaza kanjani lokhu kwenye ingxenye yakho, uma engakasiboni isidingo esinjalo? Indlela yokwenza isicelo ukuze singathathwa ngokuzonda - njengesibonakaliso sokuthi kukhona okungalungile ngobuhlobo?
“Abanye bethu uma sizwa ukuthi umaqondana angathanda ukwandisa ibanga lemizwa nelomzimba, alithathe kabuhlungu, azizwe elahliwe futhi elahliwe. Isimo somkhaya siyakhula,” kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uLi Lang. - Maye, ngokuvamile umuntu kufanele abheke isimo lapho umlingani oyedwa efuna ukuhamba khona, kanti owesibili, ezwa lokhu, uzama nge-hook noma nge-crook ukuze amdonsele kuye. Ngenxa yalokho, ngenxa yalokhu "kudonsa impi", bobabili bayahlupheka.
Kuthiwani uma udinga isikhathi esiningi sakho kunesomlingani wakho? Ungawakhetha kanjani amagama afanele futhi udlulisele isicelo kuye ukuze angawaqondi amazwi akho? Indlela yokuqinisekisa ukuthi nobabili nizowina kuphela njengomphumela? Nakhu okushiwo ochwepheshe bobudlelwano.
Chaza ukuthi usho ukuthini ngempela ngesikhathi sakho
Okokuqala, kufanele uzinqumele ukuthi yini, empeleni, indawo yomuntu siqu kanye "nesikhathi sakho" sakho. Akunakwenzeka ukuthi usho isidingo sokuhlala ngokuhlukana nomlingani wakho. Ngokuvamile kunalokho, kumayelana nokuchitha okungenani ingxenye yosuku ungenzi lutho uwedwa wenza lokho okujabulelayo: ukuphuza itiye, ukuhlala usofa nencwadi, ukubukela uchungechunge lwe-TV, ukuchoboza izimbangi kugeyimu yevidiyo, noma ukwakha indiza mbumbulu. .
“Chaza ukuthi okudingayo nje ukuthi uqoqe imicabango yakho futhi uphumule,” kusikisela uTalya Wagner, umelaphi womndeni nombhali wencwadi ethi Abashadile Abahlala Naye. - Futhi into eyinhloko lapha ukukwazi ukubuka isimo ngamehlo omlingani. Ngale ndlela ningakwazi ukuqondana kangcono nobabili futhi nifunde ukwesekelana.”
Khetha amagama afanele
Njengoba isihloko sibucayi kakhulu, kubalulekile ukunaka kokubili ukukhethwa kwamagama nephimbo. Kuncike ekutheni umlingani wakho ubona kanjani amazwi akho: njengesicelo esingenabungozi noma isibonakaliso sokuthi injabulo yomndeni isiphelile. “Kubalulekile ukuba mnene ngangokunokwenzeka futhi ugcizelele ukuthi nobabili niphumelele ekugcineni,” kusho uWagner. "Kodwa uma ucasuka futhi usolwa, umyalezo wakho awubonwa kahle."
Ngakho esikhundleni sokukhononda ngokuthi uphelelwa amandla (“Ngikhathele kakhulu yilezi zinkinga emsebenzini nasekhaya! Ngidinga ukuba ngedwa”), yithi: “Ngicabanga ukuthi sobabili sidinga isikhathi esengeziwe sethu. , indawo yomuntu siqu eyengeziwe. Lokhu kuzozuzisa thina sobabili kanye nobudlelwano sisonke.”
Gcizelela izinzuzo zokuchitha isikhathi ungekho
“Ukuvala ukuhlanganiswa, lapho senza yonke into ndawonye ngaso sonke isikhathi (phela, siwumndeni!), Kuxosha lonke uthando nokudlala ebuhlotsheni,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nesazi ngobulili uStephanie Buhler. "Kodwa isikhathi esichithwa sihlukene sisivumela ukuthi sibukane ngamehlo amasha futhi mhlawumbe sibe nesifiso osekukudala sisishiya."
Ungakhohlwa Uhlobo Lobuntu Bakho kanye Nozakwenu
NgokukaBuhler, ama-introverts avame ukudinga indawo yomuntu siqu, okuqondakalayo. Ukuchitha isikhathi sodwa kubasiza ukuthi baphinde bashaje, kodwa lokhu kungaba nzima kubangane babo bomshado abangaphandle ukwamukela. “Ama-introverts ayashabalala ngokoqobo uma engakwazi ukuchitha isikhathi yedwa: ukuphupha, ukufunda, ukuhamba, ukucabanga. Uma kuyindaba yakho le, chazela umlingani wakho ngokuningiliziwe ukuthi uzizwa kanjani.”
Khumbuza umlingani wakho ukuthi uyamthanda
Singabonisa uthando ngezindlela ezihlukene futhi sibe nezinhlobo ezihlukahlukene zothando. Uma umlingani enamathele kuwe ngokukhathazeka, ukuzinza nokuphepha kubalulekile kuye ebuhlotsheni, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ngeke umshiye. Engxoxweni nomuntu onjalo, kubalulekile ukugcizelela ukuthi isifiso sakho senkululeko akuwona neze umusho ebuhlotsheni. Umthanda kakhulu umlingani wakho, kodwa ukuze uqhubeke nokwenza lokhu esikhathini esizayo, udinga isikhathi esengeziwe sakho kanye nawe.
Hlela okuthile ndawonye ngemva kokuzinika isikhathi
Akukho okuzomthulisa kangcono kuneqiniso lokuthi ngemva kokuchitha isikhathi uwedwa nawe, uzobuyela "emndenini" ngokuthula, uphumule, ujabule futhi ulungele ukutshala imali ebuhlotsheni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, manje ungakwazi ukujabulela ngokugcwele imisebenzi ehlangene ngaphandle kokububula ngokwakho mayelana nokuthi kungaba kuhle kanjani ukuhlala ekhaya wedwa futhi uchithe kusihlwa embhedeni.
Ngokunokwenzeka, khona-ke umlingani ekugcineni uzoqonda ukuthi isikhathi sakho singaba isihluthulelo sokuxhumana okuseduze nokusondelana kwangempela phakathi kwakho nokusiza ukuqinisa ubuhlobo.