Ukuze umntwana akhule ejabule futhi azethemba, kubalulekile ukuhlakulela ithemba kuye. Umbono ubonakala usobala, kodwa ngokuvamile asiqondi ukuthi yini edingekayo kulokhu. Izidingo ezidlulele, kanye nokuvikela ngokweqile, kungakha ezinye izimo zengqondo enganeni.
Izinzuzo zokuba nethemba ziye zafakazelwa izifundo eziningi. Bahlanganisa zonke izici zokuphila (umndeni, imfundo, umsebenzi), kuhlanganise nokuzinza kwengqondo. Ukuba nethemba kunciphisa ukucindezeleka futhi kuvikela ekucindezelekeni.
Okumangalisa nakakhulu ukuthi umphumela wokuba nethemba uthinta impilo yomzimba wonke. Ukulindela okuhle kubhebhezela ukuzethemba nokuzethemba. Lokhu kuthinta amasosha omzimba. Ama-Optimists ahlala isikhathi eside esebenza, alulame ngokushesha ekulimaleni, ukuzikhandla ngokomzimba nokugula.
Izifundo Zengqondo: Ucabanga ukuthi ukukhulisa ingane ejabule kusho ukugxilisa kuyo ingqondo enethemba. Kusho ukuthini?
U-Alain Braconnier, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, umbhali we-Optimistic Child: Emndenini naseSikoleni: Ukulindela okuhle yikhono, ngakolunye uhlangothi, lokubona izimo ezinhle futhi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukunikeza ukuhlolwa okunengqondo kwezinkinga. Ama-pessimists athambekele ekwahluleleni okwehlisa inani kanye nama-generalizations angalungile. Bavame ukuthi: "Ngiyindawo engenalutho", "angikwazi ukubhekana nezimo." Abanethemba lokuhle abagxili kulokho osekwenzekile, bazama ukuthola ukuthi yini okufanele bayenze ngokulandelayo.
Ukulindela okuhle - ikhwalithi yokuzalwa noma oyizuzile? Ungakuqaphela kanjani ukuthambekela kwengane ekubeni nethemba?
Zonke izingane zibonisa izimpawu zethemba kusukela zizalwa. Kusukela ezinyangeni zokuqala, umntwana uyamamatheka kubantu abadala ukukhombisa ukuthi uphilile. Unelukuluku lokwazi ngayo yonke into, unothando ngayo yonke into entsha, yonke into enyakazayo, ecwebezelayo, eyenza imisindo. Uhlale efuna ukunakwa. Ngokushesha uba umsunguli omkhulu: ufuna ukuzama konke, afinyelele kukho konke.
Khulisa ingane yakho ukuze ukunamathela kwakhe kuwe kungabonakali njengomlutha, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo kunikeza umuzwa wokulondeka.
Lapho umntwana esekhule ngokwanele ukuba aphume embhedeni wakhe, ngokushesha uqala ukuhlola indawo emzungezile. Ku-psychoanalysis, lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi "i-life drive." Kusiphusha ukuthi sinqobe umhlaba.
Kodwa ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ezinye izingane zifuna ukwazi futhi zikhululekile kunezinye. Phakathi kochwepheshe, kwakukhona umbono wokuthi izingane ezinjalo zenza i-25% yenani eliphelele. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ezingxenyeni ezintathu kwezine, ithemba lemvelo lingavuswa ngokuqeqeshwa kanye nomoya ofanele.
Kwenziwa kanjani?
Njengoba ingane ikhula, ihlangabezana nokulinganiselwa futhi ingase ibe nolaka futhi ingajabuli. Ukuba nethemba kuyamsiza ukuba anganikezeli ebunzimeni, kodwa abunqobe. Phakathi kweminyaka emibili nemine, izingane ezinjalo ziyahleka futhi zidlale kakhulu, azikhathazeki ngokuhlukana nabazali bazo, futhi zibekezelela isizungu kangcono. Bayakwazi ukuchitha isikhathi bebodwa, bayakwazi ukuzixaka.
Ukuze wenze lokhu, khulisa ingane yakho ukuze ukunamathela kwakhe kuwe kungabonakali njengomlutha, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo kunikeza umuzwa wokulondeka. Kubalulekile ukuthi ube khona lapho ekudinga - ngokwesibonelo, ukuze umsize alale. Ukubamba iqhaza kwakho kuyadingeka ukuze ingane ifunde ukuzwa ukwesaba, ukuhlukana, ukulahlekelwa.
Uma abazali bencoma ingane ngokweqile, ingase ibe nombono wokuthi wonke umuntu uyayikweleta
Kubalulekile futhi ukukhuthaza ukubekezela kukho konke ingane ekwenzayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi imidlalo, ukudweba noma imidlalo ye-puzzle. Lapho ephikelela, uzuza impumelelo enkulu, futhi ngenxa yalokho uba nesithombe esihle ngaye. Kwanele ukubuka izingane ukuze ziqonde ukuthi yini ezijabulisa: ukuqaphela ukuthi kukhona abakwenzayo.
Abazali kufanele baqinise umbono omuhle wengane. Bangase bathi, "Ake sibone ukuthi kungani ungenzanga kahle." Mkhumbuze ngempumelelo yakhe edlule. Ukuzisola kuholela ekuphelelweni ithemba.
Awucabangi yini ukuthi ingane enethemba ngokweqile izobuka umhlaba ngezibuko ezinemibala egqamile futhi ikhule ingakulungele uvivinyo lokuphila?
Ithemba elinengqondo aliphazamisi, kodwa, ngokuphambene, lisiza ukuzivumelanisa kangcono neqiniso. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abanethemba lokuhle baqoqwa kakhulu futhi bagxile ezimweni ezicindezelayo futhi bavumelana nezimo lapho bebhekene nezinselele.
Yiqiniso, asikhulumi ngethemba le-pathological, elihlotshaniswa nenkohliso yokuba namandla onke. Esimweni esinjalo, umntwana (bese kuba umuntu omdala) uzibona sengathi uhlakaniphile, uSuperman, okungaphansi kwakhe konke. Kodwa lo mbono usekelwe esithombeni esisontekile sezwe: ebhekene nobunzima, umuntu onjalo uzozama ukuvikela izinkolelo zakhe ngosizo lokuphika nokuhoxiswa ku-fantasy.
Lakheka kanjani ithemba elidlulele kangaka? Abazali bangasigwema kanjani lesi simo?
Ukuzethemba kwengane, ukuhlola amandla akhe namakhono akhe kuncike endleleni yabazali yokufunda. Uma abazali beyincoma kakhulu ingane, beyincoma ngesizathu noma ngaphandle kwesizathu, ingase ibe nombono wokuthi wonke umuntu uyayikweleta. Ngakho, ukuzethemba akuhlotshaniswa nombono wakhe nezenzo zangempela.
Okubalulekile ukuthi ingane iyaqonda ukuthi kungani inconywa, ukuthi wenzeni ukuze ifanelwe la mazwi.
Ukuze lokhu kungenzeki, abazali kufanele bakhe isisusa somntwana sokuzithuthukisa. Kwazise lokho akuzuzile, kodwa ngezinga elikufanele. Okubalulekile ukuthi ingane iyaqonda ukuthi kungani inconywa, ukuthi wenzeni ukuze ifanelwe la mazwi.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kukhona abazali abaphakamisa izinga eliphezulu kakhulu. Ungabeluleka ngani?
Labo abafuna okungaphezu kwamandla enganeni bazifaka engozini yokukhulisa kuyo umuzwa wokunganeliseki nokuzibona iphansi. Ukulindela njalo kwemiphumela engcono kakhulu kudala umuzwa wokukhathazeka. Abazali bacabanga ukuthi lena ukuphela kwendlela yokuzuza okuthile ekuphileni. Kodwa ukwesaba ukungafaneleki empeleni kuvimbela ingane ukuba izame, izame izinto ezintsha, ihambe endleleni eshaywayo - ngenxa yokwesaba ukungaphili ngokuvumelana nalokho okulindele.
Ukucabanga okunethemba akunakwenzeka ngaphandle nomuzwa wokuthi "ngingakwenza." Kuyadingeka ukukhuthaza ukuncintisana okunempilo kanye nenjongo enganeni. Kodwa abazali kufanele baqaphe ngokucophelela isimo somntwana futhi baqonde ukuthi yini engayenza ngempela. Uma engalungile ezifundweni zopiyano, akufanele umbeke njengesibonelo sikaMozart, owaziqambela ezakhe izingcezu eneminyaka emihlanu.