Okuqukethwe
Imizwa bekulokhu kuyisihloko socwaningo nokuhlolwa kwesayensi isikhathi eside. Namuhla kuyaqashelwa ukuthi kunamaphethini ayisithupha okuziphatha enza ubudlelwano bothando bujabule futhi buhlale isikhathi eside.
Indlela yokondla nokuqinisa uthando, ukwenza ubudlelwano buqine futhi bukhululeke? Kuvela ukuthi namuhla kunezimpendulo eziqondile zale mibuzo. Ezinye izifundo zikhomba indima «ye-attachment hormone» i-oxytocin. Abanye bayaqaphela ukuthi akukho okusha ku-psychology yombhangqwana. Nokho, lokho okwakuvame ukuthathwa kalula kufakazelwa abacwaningi, futhi abakutholile ngendlela yeseluleko kuwusizo olukhulu ekugcineni ubudlelwano besikhathi eside.
1. Bonisa uthando njalo
Ukuqabula, ukugona, ukuphulula, ukubhucungwa ngendlela evusa inkanuko… Lapho kuvame ukuthintana ngokomzimba nophathina, kulapho ubuchopho bukhiqiza i-oxytocin. NgesiNgisi, ibizwa ngokugcizelela ngokuthi «into yothando» —»love drug». Ihlanganiswa ngobuningi emzimbeni kamama ngesikhathi sokubeletha kanye nokuncelisa okulandelayo.
I-Oxytocin idlala indima ebalulekile ekwakhekeni nasekuqiniseni izibopho, kokubili umndeni nothando, ngisho nobungane, futhi lokhu kuqinisekiswa izifundo eziningi.
Ithiphu: ungalindeli ukushaya kwenhliziyo. Umthetho othi "isifiso sokudla uza nokudla" uyasebenza lapha: lapho siphulula umlingani kaningi, simgona futhi simthinte, yilapho sifuna ukuqhubeka nalokhu kusebenzisana okujabulisayo.
2. Khuluma ngenhlonipho
Ukukhethwa kwamagama, iphimbo lezwi - yonke into ibalulekile lapho sikhuluma ngento yothando lwethu. Lapho siveza inhlonipho ngokwengeziwe ngombono womunye nezindinganiso zakhe, lapho sikhuluma iphimbo elinobungane nelimnene, yilapho ezwa khona ukuthi uyaqondwa futhi uyaziswa. Uma singaboni omunye njengembangi nesincintisana naye noma umphathi kanye nenkosi, kuba lula ukuqinisa ubuhlobo obuseduze, futhi kuba lula ukufika ekuvumelaneni. Futhi izingxabano zenzeka kancane.
Ithiphu: xolisa isikhathi ngasinye lapho uphambuka kulo mthetho, futhi ungawuthathi kancane ithoni yakho namazwi akho komunye.
3. Bonisa ukubonga njalo
Ukubonga kuyingcina yobudlelwano bothando, ngokusho kwabacwaningi baseNyuvesi yaseCalifornia abahlole imibhangqwana engu-77. Nalapha futhi, i-oxytocin iyabandakanyeka: izinga layo likhuphuka ngokuphawulekayo kubo bobabili abalingani ngemva kokubonga ngakunye, okubandakanya umbhangqwana embuthanweni omuhle. Ngempela, lowo othola ukubonga, naye, uthumela umyalezo omuhle komunye. Ngenxa yalokho, bobabili bafuna ukwenza futhi baziveze "okuhle".
Ithiphu: ungaphambanisi ukusondelana nokujwayelana: okokuqala kunenzuzo, kanti okwesibili kungakhuba. Ukubonga, ukuncoma, ukuqinisekiswa kwenani - konke lokhu makuhlale kukhona ebuhlotsheni. Ukuzama ukwenza sengathi nisanda kuhlangana izinsuku ezimbalwa kungaba yindlela ephumelelayo yokwenza ubudlelwano buqhakaze.
4. Gcina imibono emihle
Uma siwugcina isikhathi eside lowo mbono wozakwethu owayesekuqaleni kobudlelwano, lapho sikholelwa ngokwengeziwe ezimfanelweni esizisho kuye, kulapho “inkohliso yothando” igcinwa khona futhi ubuhlobo buhlala isikhathi eside. Sonke sivame ukuvumelana nombono womunye umuntu ngathi, futhi iningi likhetha ubudlelwano obusijabulisa ngokwedlulele.
Esikhundleni sokuqhathanisa umlingani ngokumelene nabanye abavuna yena noma ukwenza izahlulelo ezibukhali ezigxekayo, imibhangqwana eqinile iyaqhubeka ibona futhi igcizelela kuqala ukuthi yini eyihlaba umxhwele komunye nomunye.
Ithiphu: ngemva kokugxeka ngakunye, thola okuhle kumlingani wakho futhi umtshele ngakho. Ngale ndlela ngeke uvumele ibanga elingokomzwelo phakathi kwakho livele.
5. Bhala futhi ubhale kabusha indaba yakho
Singasho indaba yethu yothando hhayi njengenganekwane yama-fairies, kodwa njengenganekwane yabathakathi. Isibonelo, uma sifuna ukugxeka ozakwethu, sikhiphe umoya, noma sijabulise abalaleli. Kodwa ukukhethwa kohlobo olunjalo akuyona imiphumela: izifundo eziningi zibonisa ukuthi izindaba ezimbi zithonya indaba yothando, okuyinto kulokhu, njengomthetho, iphetha kabi.
Kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, noma ngabe indaba yethu yayinezikhathi ezinhle nezimbi, lapho sikhetha indaba eyakhayo ngayo, ukuqhubeka kwembuleka phezu kwenothi elifanayo, futhi ngenxa yalokho, iqiniso lithola inganekwane. Akashongo yini uShakespeare ukuthi senziwe ngendwangu efanayo namaphupho ethu? Ngakho-ke kungcono ukunganamathiseli ukubaluleka okukhulu kumaphupho amabi.
Ithiphu: zinike isikhathi sokwenza uhlu lwazo zonke izinzuzo zokuhlala ndawonye nomlingani, futhi amehlo akho ayoba nomusa. Lena yindlela esenza ngayo ukucabanga komlingo futhi sikhethe okungcono kakhulu kumbhangqwana wethu.
6. Khetha intethelelo
Uma kwenzeka ukukhashelwa noma ukukhashelwa, wonke umuntu uyazikhethela ukuthi ahambe noma ahlale. Kodwa uma sikhetha okwesibili, kungcono-ke ukwenza konke okusemandleni ethu ukuthethelela ngezinhliziyo zethu zonke, sizinike isikhathi esiningi njengoba kuthatha. Lapho isinqumo senziwe futhi inqubo «yokugaya» isiphelile, kuyadingeka ukuthi ugweme ukuthuka nokusola umlingani.
Lesi yisimo esibalulekile ukunikeza ubudlelwano lonke ithuba lokuqhubeka endaweni enobungani. Singakhohlwa ukuthi ukuxolela akusho ukuthola amandla phezu komlingani noma ukumkhohlisa, usebenzisa ukulunga kwakhe, kodwa ukwenza isinqumo esinomthwalo wemfanelo sokuvula ikhasi.
Ithiphu: funda ukuthethelela iziphambeko ezincane zomlingani wakho ekuphileni kwansuku zonke, esikhundleni sokubamba amagqubu nokusabela ngobudlova.