Okuqukethwe
Emibhangqwaneni enobuntu obuhlukene, kungaba nzima ukuzuza ukuqondana. Lapho abalingani beqala ukuhlalisana, ukungezwani esigqini sempilo kanye nezinto ezithandwayo zingonakalisa ubuhlobo. Ungakugwema kanjani? Iseluleko esivela ku-Sophia Dembling, umbhali wencwadi edumile ethi The Introvert Way.
1. Xoxisana ngemingcele
Ama-Introverts athanda imingcele (ngisho noma engayivumi). Bazizwa benethezekile kuphela endaweni enolwazi, indawo ejwayelekile. Lokhu kusebenza kukho kokubili izinto kanye nemikhuba. “Usuwathatha futhi ama-headphone ami? Kungani usihlele kabusha isihlalo sami? Uhlanze igumbi lakho, kodwa manje angitholi lutho." Izenzo ezibonakala zingokwemvelo kuwe zingase zibonwe uzakwenu omaziyo njengokungenela.
“Kuhle uma umlingani ovuleleke kakhudlwana ehlonipha indawo yomuntu siqu yomunye,” kusho uSophia Dembling. Kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele ukhohlwe ngawe. Njengakwezinye izimo, ukuyekethisa kubalulekile lapha. Zinikeni isikhathi sokukhuluma ngokuthi hlobo luni lwendawo ngamunye wenu ayithola ekhululekile. Bhala phansi izikhathi lapho unokungaqondi kahle — hhayi ukukhombisa umlingani wakho «ibhili», kodwa ukuze uhlaziye futhi uqonde indlela yokugwema izingxabano.
2. Ungakuthatheli phezulu ukusabela komlingani wakho
U-Oleg ukhuluma ngentshiseko ngemibono yakhe mayelana nendlela yokusebenzisa impelasonto. Kodwa uKatya akabonakali emuzwa: uphendula ngama-monosyllables, ukhuluma ngephimbo elingenandaba. U-Oleg uqala ukucabanga: “Yini engalungile ngaye? Kungenxa yami? Nalapha akeneme ngokuthile. Cishe ucabanga ukuthi ngizicabangela ezokuzijabulisa kuphela.
“Ama-introverts angase abonakale edabukile noma ethukuthele. Kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi bathukuthele noma badabukile ngempela.”
“Abaqalayo bangakwazi ukuzihlukanisa ukuze bagxilise ingqondo, bacabange ngomcabango obalulekile noma ukucubungula okuvelayo,” kuchaza uSophia Dembling. - Ngezikhathi ezinjalo bangabonakala bedabukile, benganelisekile noma bethukuthele. Kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi bathukuthele noma badabuke ngempela. Imizwa yama-introverts ayihlali isobala, futhi uzodinga ukuzwela okwengeziwe ukuze uyibone.
3. Ziqeqeshele ukubuza imibuzo
Okunye okuvame ukubandlulula kwengqondo yama-introverts inkolelo yokuthi abanye babona futhi baqonde lokho abakubonayo nabakuqondayo. Isibonelo, umuntu ongene endlini angase ahlale sekwephuzile emsebenzini futhi angacabangi nhlobo ngokuxwayisa uzakwethu ngalokhu. Noma uye komunye umuzi ungashongo lutho. Izenzo ezinjalo zingacasula futhi zidale umuzwa wokucasuka: “Akaqondi ukuthi ngikhathazekile?”
“Isu eliwusizo lapha ukubuza nokulalela,” kusho uSofia Dembling. Ukhathazwa yini umlingani wakho njengamanje? Angathanda ukuxoxa ngani? Angathanda ukwabelana ngani? Dlulisa kumlingani wakho ukuthi ukuxhumana kwakho kuyindawo yokuphepha lapho engadingi ukuzivikela futhi akhethe ngokucophelela amagama akhe.
4. Khetha izikhathi ezifanele zokukhuluma
Ama-Introverts anedumela lokusebenzisa ingqondo kancane. Kungaba nzima kubo ukwenza ngokushesha umcabango wabo, baphendule ngokushesha embuzweni wakho noma embonweni omusha. Uma ufuna ukukhuluma ngento ebalulekile, buza umlingani wakho ukuthi kunini lapho kungaba lula ngaye ukwenza lokhu. Bekani isikhathi esivamile sokuxoxa ngezinhlelo, izinkinga, nemicabango ngempilo yenu ndawonye.
"Kumuntu osemusha, uzakwethu osebenzayo angaba usizo kakhulu."
“Kumuntu osemusha, umlingani omatasa angaba usizo olukhulu lapho kuziwa ekwenzeni isinqumo esinzima noma ukuguqula okuthile ngawe,” kuphawula uSophia Dembling. - Esinye sezibonelo engizikhonzile encwadini indaba kaKristen, ojwayele "ukushanela ngaphansi kokhaphethi" bonke ubunzima obuhambisana nobudlelwane. Kodwa washada nendoda ekhuthele eyayimkhuthaza njalo ukuba enze okuthile, futhi wayembonga.
5. Khumbula: introvert akusho alien
U-Anton wathola ukuthi u-Olga waya emakilasini okudansa engamtshelanga lutho. Ephendula ukunganeliseki kwakhe, wazama ukuzithethelela: “Awu, kunabantu abaningi lapho, umculo onomsindo. Awukuthandi lokhu." Lesi simo sijwayelekile kakhulu kwabashadile abanobuntu obuhlukene. Ekuqaleni, abalingani bazama ukushintsha omunye nomunye. Kodwa-ke bayakhathala futhi bawele kokunye okwedlulele - "wonke umuntu yedwa."
“Umlingani wakho angase akujabulele ukuchitha isikhathi nabangane noma ukuya nawe emakhonsathini,” kusho uSofia Dembling. Kodwa kuye, umbuzo othi "kanjani" ungaba obaluleke kakhulu kunokuthi "yini". Isibonelo, akayithandi imidanso yesiLatini evuthayo, kodwa usabela ngentshiseko esicelweni sokufunda ukudansa i-waltz, lapho ukunyakaza kucwengwa futhi kunomusa. Ungathola cishe njalo inketho yesithathu evumelana kokubili. Kodwa ngenxa yalokhu udinga ukuxhumana nomunye nomunye futhi ungabheki ubudlelwano njenge-corridor engapheli eneminyango evaliwe.