Ungamsiza kanjani umdala ukuba amukele owesibili?

Lungiselela ingane endala ukuze kufike ingane yesibili

Lapho ingane yesibili ifika, endala kufanele ilungiswe ... Iseluleko sethu

Lapho owesibili efika, ingane endala iyosabela kanjani?

Impela, ulindele ingane yesibili. Injabulo enkulu ehlanganiswe nokucindezeleka: umdala uzozithatha kanjani izindaba? Impela wena noyise anizange ninqume ukuba nengane yesibili ukuze nimjabulise, kodwa ngoba niyayifuna nobabili. Ngakho-ke asikho isizathu sokuzizwa unecala. Kufanele nje uthole indlela efanele kanye nesikhathi esifanele sokukumemezela. Asikho isidingo sokwenza kusenesikhathi, kungcono ukulinda kuze kube yilapho ukukhulelwa kusungulwe kahle futhi ingozi yokulahlekelwa umntwana omenyezelwe iyancipha. Ingane encane iphila esikhathini samanje futhi esikalini sayo, izinyanga eziyisishiyagalolunye ingunaphakade! Ngokushesha nje lapho azi ukuthi uzoba nomfowabo noma udadewabo, uzozwa izikhathi ezingamashumi amathathu ngosuku: "Iza nini ingane?" “! Nokho, izingane eziningi ziqagela ukuthi umama wazo ukhulelwe ngaphandle kokutshelwa. Banomuzwa ocacile wokuthi umama wabo useshintshile, ukuthi ukhathele kakhulu, uzwela, ngezinye izikhathi uyagula, bathwebula amazwibela ezingxoxo, ukubukeka, izimo zengqondo… Futhi bakhathazekile. Kungcono ukubaqinisekisa ngokubatshela ngokucacile okwenzekayo. Ngisho noma enezinyanga eziyishumi nambili kuphela ubudala, ingane encane iyakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi maduze ngeke isaba yedwa nabazali bayo nokuthi inhlangano yomndeni izoshintsha.

Umuntu osekhulile wangomuso udinga ukuqinisekiswa, ukulalelwa nokwaziswa

Uma isimemezelo senziwe ngamagama alula, qaphela izimpawu ezithunyelwa ingane yakho. Abanye bayaziqhenya ngalo mcimbi obanikeza ukubaluleka emehlweni angaphandle. Abanye bahlala bengenandaba kuze kube yilapho ukukhulelwa sekuphelile. Kanti abanye baveza ulaka lwabo ngokuthi abacelanga lutho noma benza sengathi bakhahlela esiswini lapho “isicefe” sikhula khona. Lokhu kusabela akuyona into engavamile noma emangalisayo ngoba yonke ingane, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyakuveza noma cha, iwela imizwa ephikisanayo emcabangweni wokuthi maduzane kufanele ihlanganyele uthando lwabazali bayo. Ukumvumela ukuthi “alahle umntwana emgqonyeni” kumvumela ukuba akhiphe intukuthelo yakhe futhi andise namathuba okuthi izinto zizolunga lapho umntwana ekhona. Okudingwa kakhulu umuntu omdala wakusasa ukuqinisekiswa, ukulalelwa nokwaziswa. Mkhombise izithombe zakhe esewusana. Hlanganisa namalungiselelo athile kodwa ngemithamo emincane. Ngokwesibonelo, sikisela ukuba akhethe isipho ukuze amukele osanda kufika, kuphela uma ethanda. Akukona kuye ukukhetha igama lokuqala, kukuwe. Kodwa usengakwazi ukuyihlanganisa neziphakamiso zakho nokungabaza. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kungcono ukungayifaki ekukhulelweni ngokwayo. Ukuhambela ama-ultrasounds noma izikhathi ze-haptonomy kuyindaba yabantu abadala, umzuzu osondelene wombhangqwana. Kubalulekile ukugcina imfihlakalo ethile kanye nemfihlo.

Ingane ngayinye kufanele ithole indawo yayo

Lapho umntwana osanda kuzalwa efika ekhaya, uba isigebengu somdala. Njengoba isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uNicole Prieur sichaza: “ Umuzwa wobuzalwane owakhiwe ukuhambisana nobumbano njengabo bonke abazali abaphupha ngakho awunikezwa ngokushesha, wakhiwe. “Okwenzeka khona manjalo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kwamazibulo, kusuke kuwumuzwa wokulahlekelwa ngoba akaseyona isizinda sabazali nomndeni, ulahlekelwa wukuzigqaja ngokuthanda osanda kufika. akukho sithakazelo, ohlale ekhala futhi engazi nokuthi kudlalwa kanjani! Akukhona ngempela ukulahlekelwa ngokomzwelo, asebekhulile bayazi ukuthi bathandwa abazali babo. Umbuzo wabo uthi: “Ingabe ngisaqhubeka ngikhona? Ingabe ngisenayo indawo ebalulekile yabazali bami? Lokhu kwesaba kudala kuye imizwa emibi “ngesela labazali”. Ucabanga ukuthi kwakungcono ngaphambili, ukuthi abuyiselwe egunjini lababeletha... Le micabango engemihle imenza abe nesithombe esibi ngaye, ikakhulukazi njengoba abazali bakhe bemtshela ukuthi akulungile ukuba nomona, ukuthi kufanele abe muhle kuye. umfowabo omncane noma udadewabo omncane ... Ukuze ubuyisele ukuzethemba kwakhe okuthe ukuklwebheka, kubalulekile ukumazisa ngokukhomba konke angakwenza, hhayi ingane., ngokumbonisa zonke izinzuzo zesikhundla sakhe “esikhulu”.

Izimbangi nothando lobuzalwane: yini esengozini phakathi kwabo

Noma ngabe ulindele ngokuphelelwa yisineke ukuthi isibopho esikhulu sixazulule phakathi kwezingane zakho, ungaphoqi umdala ukuthi athande umfowabo omncane noma udadewabo omncane ... Gwema imishwana efana nokuthi: “Yiba muhle, mqabule, bheka ukuthi muhle kanjani!” “ Uthando alukwazi ukuyalwa, kodwa inhlonipho inguyebo! Kubalulekile ukuthi uphoqe umdala ukuthi ahloniphe ingane yakwabo encane, angabi nodlame, ngokomzimba noma ngamazwi, kuye. Futhi ngokuphambene nalokho. Siyazi namuhla ukuthi yimalini ubudlelwano bezelamani bunomthelela onamandla ekwakheni ubuwena futhi kuhle ukusungula kusukela ekuqaleni ukuhloniphana. Elinye iphutha elivamile, ungaphoqi “omkhulu” ukuthi babelane ngakho konke, ukuboleka amathoyizi akhe lapho omncane osaqinile evame ukuwaphatha ngesihluku futhi awaphule. Umntwana ngamunye kufanele ahloniphe indawo yomunye kanye nempahla yakhe. Ngisho noma zisebenzisa igumbi elifanayo, kuyadingeka ukunikeza imidlalo evamile nezikhala esabelana ngazo kanye nemidlalo yomuntu siqu nezikhala lapho omunye angangeni khona. Sebenzisa lo mthetho: “Okwami ​​akukona ngempela okwakho!” Kudingeka ukuqondana okuhle phakathi kwabafowethu nodadewethu futhi kudalwe imifelandawonye. Ubuzalwane buvela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Izingane ngokwemvelo zilingeka kakhulu ukuba zijabule nezinye izingane. Omdala noncane bayaqonda ukuthi kujabulisa kakhulu ukwabelana, ukusungula imidlalo emisha ndawonye, ​​ukuzihlanganisa ukuze abazali bahlanye ... Emkhayeni ngamunye, ngamunye uzama ukuba indodana engcono kakhulu, intombazane engcono kakhulu, lowo izoba nendawo emaphakathi futhi kufanele uphushe enye ukuze ibe maphakathi. Kodwa abazali bakhona ukuze baqinisekise futhi benze abantu baqonde ukuthi kukhona indawo yababili, abathathu, abane nangaphezulu!

Ingabe likhona igebe leminyaka elikahle phakathi kwezingane?

Cha, kodwa singakusho lokhoingane eneminyaka engu-3-4 ikwazi kangcono ukubhekana nokufika kwesibili ngoba isikhundla sayo njengomuntu omdala sinezinzuzo. Ingane enezinyanga ezingu-18 inezinzuzo ezimbalwa ekubeni “nkulu”, nayo isencane. Umthetho ulula: uma ususondele eminyakeni yobudala (i-fortiori uma ungowobulili obufanayo), yilapho ubangisana khona futhi kuba nzima nakakhulu ukuzakhela ubuwena. Lapho umehluko ubalulekile, ngaphezu kweminyaka engu-7-8, sihluke kakhulu futhi ukuhambisana kuncane.