Indlela yokuhlukanisa i-narcissism "enempilo" kusukela "engenampilo"?

Izihloko ezikhuluma ngokuqomisana nobudlelwano zivame ukukhuluma nge-narcissism, kodwa leli gama livame ukusetshenziswa kabi, kusho umelaphi womndeni uMarnie Feerman. Lapho igama elithi "narcissist" lisetshenziswa engxoxweni evamile, ngokuvamile lisuke lisahlukile kwesimiso, hhayi isifo esibizwa ngokuthi i-narcissistic personality disorder.

Uyachaza:

Kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani onjalo uzomane akusebenzise ngaphandle kokunikeza lutho, futhi ngenxa yalokhu, ukungalingani okukhulu kuzovela ebuhlotsheni. Kuyafaneleka futhi ukukhumbula ukuthi i-narcissism ingaphenduka ibe yi-sociopathy yangempela, ngakho-ke ubudlelwano ne-narcissist eqinile bungaba yingozi kakhulu.

«Okunempilo» vs. «Okungenampilo» Narcissism: Uyini Umehluko?

Sonke sikhathele, siyacasuka, sikhathele ngenxa yokucindezeleka. Sonke ngezinye izikhathi sizicabangela thina kuphela, singazinaki imizwa, izifiso nezidingo zabanye. Ngamunye wethu ngezikhathi ezithile othile ugxeka noma abonise ngisho nolaka.

Ukuzithanda okujwayelekile, okunempilo kusisiza ukuthi sihlale sinethemba futhi sizethemba naphezu kwale mizwelo kanye neminye engemihle. Kodwa-ke, kulabo abahlushwa i-narcissistic personality disorder, ukuzithanda kudlula yonke imingcele.

Uhlelo lwesihlanu lwe-US Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) luchaza ukuphazamiseka kobuntu be-narcissistic ngokuthi "umuzwa ophikelelayo wokuba umuntu ophakeme, isifiso esiqhubekayo sokunconywa, ukungabi naluzwela." Ukuxilongwa kudinga ukuba khona okungenani kwezimpawu ezi-5 kweziyi-9:

• Umqondo wokuhluka komuntu siqu.
• Amaphupho ahlala njalo mayelana nempumelelo yakho engenamkhawulo, amandla, ingqondo ekhaliphile, ubuhle obumangalisayo.
• Ukukholelwa komuntu onjalo ukuthi ungumuntu oyingqayizivele, ongavamile okufanele axhumane kuphela nabantu nezinhlangano ezihlukile ngokulinganayo.
• Isifiso sokuba into yokunconywa ngokungafanele.
• Inkolelo yokuthi uvunyelwe ngaphezu kwabanye.
• Ukuthambekela kokubusa abanye abantu ebudlelwaneni babantu.
• Ukuntula noma ukungabi naluzwela.
• Ukufutheka okuqhubekayo kwabanye noma inkolelo yokuthi abanye bambambele amagqubu.
• Ukubonakaliswa kobugovu kanye ne-narcissism ngokuziphatha noma isimo sengqondo kwabanye.

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseHarvard Medical School uCraig Malkin sihlonze izici ezintathu ezibalulekile ze-narcissism:

1. AmaNarcisists axhaphaza abanye. Balungele noma yini, kuhlanganise nenkohliso nokukhohlisa, ukuze banelise izidingo zabo.
2. AmaNarcisists akholelwa ukuthi akweleta yonke into futhi anelungelo lakho konke. Bavame ukusabela ngokufutheka kwentukuthelo ukuze banqatshwe.
3. Narcissists abanalo uzwelo. Kusukela ngaphandle kungase kubonakale sengathi bayakwazi ukuzwelana, kodwa kusheshe kunyamalale uma kungenasithakazelo ku-narcissist noma ematasa ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe.

Ukwazi kanjani ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokubaleka

Uma usola ukuthi umlingani wakho uyi-narcissist yangempela, nazi izimpawu ezintathu eziyisixwayiso okungafanele zishaywe indiva. Noma yikuphi kubo kuyisizathu sokuqeda ngokushesha ubuhlobo.

1. Udlame noma ukuhlukumeza

Okokuqala, sikhuluma ngobudlova obungokomzimba, kodwa akumele kubekezelelwe ubudlova obungokwengqondo. Lokhu kungaba ukugxeka okungapheli, ukuthuka, ukudelela, ukuthuka, ukukhanya kwegesi (lapho umlingani ezama ukukwenza ubuze umbono wakho weqiniso).

Umthwalo wemfanelo wokuziphatha okunjalo ukuye ngokuphelele, hhayi kuwe. Ngale ndlela, ubudlelwano obunempilo abunakwenzeka.

2. Ukuphika izinkinga

Uma umlingani eziphatha ngendlela engafanele, okungenani kufanele avume: "Ngiyaqonda konke, kodwa angikwazi ukuzibamba, ngidinga usizo." Uma engakwazi ukubona izinkinga zakhe, ngeke akwazi ukuzixazulula.

3. I-Recognitions sociopathies

Ukuqamba amanga njalo ngaphandle kokuzisola kungase kube uphawu lokungabonisi nje uzwela, kodwa ukuntuleka okuphelele, okungukuthi, i-sociopathy. Amathuba okuthi i-sociopathic narcissist izoshintsha indlela yokuziphatha cishe ayiziro. Uma uqonda ukuthi umlingani unjalo nje, gijima ngaphambi kokuba kuphuze kakhulu.

Isimo sengqondo sokuzikhukhumeza kanye nobutha ngasohlangothini lomlingani singavusa izimfanelo ezimbi kakhulu kithi. Singase siqale ukumzungezile ukuze singamcasuli, noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, siphendule, senze amahlazo. Futhi akuhambisani nobudlelwano obunempilo nobuphumelelayo.

“Uma kuphephile, zama ukuba qotho futhi uvulekele kuye ngokucabangayo. Kodwa-ke, ungakwenzi lokhu uma kunengozi yangempela yodlame olungokomzimba, ”kusho uMarni Feerman.

Nansi indlela engase isize ukuvusa uzwela lozakwenu ngawe.

1. Mkhumbuze ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho bubaluleke kakhulu kuwe.
2. Ngokusobala, ngaphandle kokwesaba ukubonakala usengozini, khuluma ngalokho obhekana nakho: ukulangazelela, ukwesaba, isizungu, amahloni, ukomela uthando, njll. Ngizizwa ngilahliwe, ngingafunwa futhi ngingelutho.” Noma: "Usho lukhulu kimi kangangokuthi lapho ugxeka zonke izinqumo zami, kubonakala sengathi awungazisi nhlobo."

Uma umlingani wakho ekwazi ngisho nokuzwela kancane, ukukhuluma kwakho ngokungagwegwesi kufanele okungenani kudambise isimo sakhe sengqondo ngawe. Uma lokhu kungenzeki, lokhu kuwuphawu olushaqisayo, kufanelekile ukucabanga ngokuqeda ubuhlobo. Okokugcina, uma umlingani we-narcissistic enqaba ukwelashwa kwengqondo, lesi futhi isizathu esibucayi sokucabanga ngamathemba obuhlobo.