Okuqukethwe
Nakuba kukhulunywa “ngesenzakalo esisha” emphakathini, izisulu ezilandelayo zihlupheka endaweni ethile. Siyaqonda ukuthi kungani eminyakeni yamuva nje kuye kwaba nabahlukumezi abaningi kangaka, babekuphi ngaphambili, nokuthi kungani abanye besaqiniseka ukuthi lowo ohlukunyezwe yikho unecala lokubonakaliswa kokuhlukunyezwa.
Igama elithi «ukuhlukunyezwa» liya ngokuya livela emakhasini okuphrinta naku-inthanethi. Kodwa ukuthi kuyini nokuthi kungani ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo buyingozi abukaqondwa yiwo wonke umuntu. Abanye baze bathi lokhu akuyona into edlula ukumaketha (izincwadi ezinegama elithi «ukuhlukunyezwa» esihlokweni ziphula wonke amarekhodi okuthengisa, kanye nezifundo eziku-inthanethi zezisulu zokuhlukunyezwa ziphindaphindwa ngezigidi zokwethulwa).
Kodwa empeleni, igama elisha lanikeza igama lalo into endala futhi enezimpande emphakathini wethu.
Buyini ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo
Ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo yilabo lapho umuntu oyedwa ephula imingcele yomuntu siqu yomunye, ehlazisa, evumela unya ekukhulumeni nasezenzweni ukuze acindezele intando yesisulu. Ngokuvamile ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo - kumbhangqwana, phakathi kwezihlobo, abazali nezingane, noma umphathi kanye nabangaphansi - bukhula. Okokuqala, lokhu kuwukwephulwa kwemingcele kanye nokuncane, njengokungathi ngengozi, ukucindezelwa kwentando, bese ukuhlukaniswa komuntu siqu kanye nezezimali. Ukuhlambalaza nokubonakaliswa konya kungamaphuzu adlulele obudlelwane obuhlukumezayo.
Ukuhlukunyezwa kumasinema nemibhalo
"Kodwa kuthiwani ngothando oluhlanyayo, njengoRomeo noJuliet?" - uyabuza. Lobu futhi ubuhlobo obuhlukumezayo. Futhi noma yiziphi ezinye izindaba zothando zivela ku-opera efanayo. Lapho ephumelela kuye, futhi enqaba kuye, bese enqotshwa ingcindezi yakhe, bese eziphonsa eweni, ngoba othandekayo wakhe ushonile noma uye kwenye, lokhu futhi akuhlobene nothando. Imayelana ne-codependency. Ngaphandle kwayo, bekungeke kube khona inoveli ethokozisayo noma ifilimu ekhumbulekayo.
Imboni yamafilimu ithande ukuhlukumeza. Futhi lesi ngesinye sezizathu zokuthi kungani ubudlelwano obungenampilo bubonakala ngathi yilokho kanye ebesikufuna kuzo zonke izimpilo zethu.
Izindaba ezinjengoJuliet, uJohn no-Elizabeth ezivela emavikini angu-9 ½, u-Daenerys no-Khala Drogo ezivela ku-Game of Thrones, ezenzeka kubantu bangempela, zikhathaza izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo. Umphakathi, kunalokho, uyabajabulisa, ubathole bethandana, bejabulisa futhi befundisa.
Uma ubudlelwano bomuntu bukhula ngokushelela, busekelwe ebudlelwaneni obulinganayo kanye nokwethembana, kwabaningi bubonakala buyisicefe noma esolisayo. Ayikho idrama ethinta inhliziyo, izimvemvane esiswini, ulwandle lwezinyembezi, owesifazane akalwi nge-hysterics, indoda ayibulali umphikisi ku-duel - isiphithiphithi ...
Uma ubudlelwano bakho buthuthuka njengefilimu, cishe sinezindaba ezimbi ngawe.
"Ukuhlukumeza kuyimfashini"
Kunemibono eminingi mayelana nokuthi kungani ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo bubonakala ngokuzumayo. Imvamisa baphikisana kakhulu. Njengenhlalayenza, iqiniso lisendaweni ethile phakathi.
Imvamisa ungezwa umbono wokuthi abantu banamuhla sebetotoswa kakhulu - bathanda inkanuko futhi basengozini. Noma yisiphi isimo esingavamile singaholela ekucindezelekeni, ngisho nasekuzibulaleni. “Uma bezama ukukhuluma ngohlobo oluthile lokuhlukumeza ngeMpi Yezwe Yokuqala noma Yesibili noma ngesikhathi sikaStalin. Futhi ngokuvamile, ngesimo sengqondo esifana nesentsha yanamuhla, ayikho impi enganqotshwa.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lo mbono ungase uzwakale unonya kangakanani, kuneqiniso elithile kuwo. Ngekhulu lesi-XNUMX, ikakhulukazi ekuqaleni namaphakathi, abantu "babenesikhumba esiminyene". Yebo, bezwa ubuhlungu - ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo, abanolwazi, ukulahlekelwa abathandekayo, bathandana futhi bacasulwa, uma umuzwa wawungahambisani, kodwa hhayi njengehaba njengesizukulwane sanamuhla. Futhi kunencazelo enengqondo yalokhu.
Ngaleso sikhathi, abantu basinda ngokoqobo - iMpi Yezwe Yokuqala, inguquko ka-1917, indlala ka-1932-1933, iMpi Yezwe Yesibili, incithakalo yangemva kwempi kanye nendlala. Izwe laphinde lalulama kulezi zenzakalo kuphela ngokubusa kweKhrushchev. Ukube abantu bangaleso sikhathi babezwela njengathi, babengeke basinde kuzo zonke lezo zigemegeme.
Umhlukumezi omdala uyingane ehlukumezekile
Izimo zokuphila zanamuhla azinalo unya futhi zinzima, okusho ukuthi imizwa yomuntu ingakhula. Lokhu kwaholela eqinisweni lokuthi abantu baqala ukuzalwa nengqondo esengozini. Kubo, izimo ezicishe zifane nalezi ezenzeke ekuqaleni namaphakathi nekhulu lesi-XNUMX ziyinhlekelele yangempela.
Ngokukhulayo, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zihlangana nabantu "abanokungathandi" okujulile ebuntwaneni ngezikhathi. Nakuba, kubonakala sengathi, umama wanamuhla unesikhathi esiningi namandla engane kunomama ovamile phakathi nekhulu leminyaka elidlule.
Lezi zingane zikhula zibe abantu abadala abalimele, futhi ngokuvamile abahlukumezi. Amaphethini akudala akhuthaza ukuba bathole uthando ngezindlela ezithile, ezingezona ezemvelo, noma babe izisulu ezingakwazi ukuphuma ebuhlotsheni obunonya. Abantu abanjalo bahlangana nomlingani, banamathele kuye ngayo yonke inhliziyo yabo futhi baqale ukuba nomhawu, ukulawula, ukunciphisa ukukhulumisana, ukuqeda ukuzethemba, nokufaka ingcindezi.
Imithombo yokuhlukumeza okusemthethweni
Kodwa ukuhlukunyezwa bekulokhu kukhona futhi mancane amathuba okuthi kunyamalale ezimpilweni zethu. Ngaphambili nje babengekho ochwepheshe ababengalokotha baphakamise lesi sihloko. Futhi lokhu kuwumkhuba womhlaba wonke.
Ubudlelwano obungenampilo phakathi kwabantu bugcwele yonke indawo. Abaholi abahlukunyezwayo phakathi kowesilisa nowesifazane ngamazwe aseMpumalanga Ephakathi, lapho besakhulisa izingane ngaphansi kohlaka lwamasiko nezivumelwano eziphelelwe yisikhathi, bafaka imibono engalungile ngomshado namalungelo kuwo emakhanda abo.
Esikweni laseRussia, ukuhlukunyezwa nakho kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokuphila. Khumbula nje i-"Domostroy", lapho owesifazane eyisigqila somyeni wakhe, elalela, ezithoba futhi ethule. Kodwa kuze kube manje, abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi ubuhlobo Domostroevsky kulungile. Futhi kukhona ochwepheshe abasakaza kubantu abaningi futhi bathola impendulo enhle evela ezilalelini (futhi, ngokumangalisayo, kwabesifazane).
Ake sibuyele endabeni yethu. Ingxenye yesibili yekhulu lama-XX. Inani elikhulu lamasosha alibuyanga empini, emadolobheni nasemizaneni kukhona ukushoda okuphelele kwamadoda. Abesifazane bamukela noma ubani - kokubili abakhubazekile, nabaphuza, nalabo abahlukunyezwa yingqondo.
Indoda eyayisendlini yayiyisiqinisekiso sokusinda ezikhathini ezinzima. Ngokuvamile wayehlala emindenini emibili noma emithathu, futhi obala
Lo mkhuba wawusakazeke kakhulu ezindaweni zasemakhaya. Abesifazane babefuna izingane nomndeni kangangokuthi baze bavumelana nezimo ezinjalo, ngoba kwakunezindlela ezimbili kuphela: “ngale ndlela noma cha.”
Ukufakwa okuningi kwesimanje kusekelwe lapho - kusuka kogogo bethu nokhokho bethu. Okwakubonakala kuwumkhuba phakathi nenkathi yokushoda okukhulu kwamadoda akwamukelekile namuhla, kodwa abanye besifazane basaqhubeka bephila kanje. Phela nogogo wagcina esethi: “Hhayi-ke akashaye ngesinye isikhathi kodwa akaphuzi ungenisa imali endlini. Kodwa-ke, ungakhohlwa ukuthi umhlukumezi akaboshelwanga ngokobulili besilisa - owesifazane angakwazi futhi ukwenza njengomhlukumezi emndenini.
Namuhla sinazo zonke izinsiza zokuphila ukuphila okuvumelanayo nokujabulisayo. Ekugcineni umhlaba ukhuluma ngama-codependencies, abahlaseli kanye nezisulu. Noma ngabe ungubani, akudingekile ukuba uphile ngendlela yezizukulwane eziyisikhombisa ngaphambi kokuba uphile. Ungaphuma embhalweni ojwayelekile emphakathini namadlozi futhi uphile ngenhlonipho nokwamukela.