"Dokotela, zilaphe": indlela izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezibhekana ngayo nokucindezeleka

Akekho ogonywe ukucindezeleka nemiphumela yako. Kungaba nzima kakhulu kochwepheshe bezengqondo ukugcina ikhanda elicacile kunamakhasimende abo, ngoba kudingeka babe nozwela, ukuzinza kwemizwelo, nokugxila ngesikhathi esisodwa.

“Abantu bacabanga ukuthi noma isiphi isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo singumuntu onezinzwa ze-iron noma umuntu ohlakaniphile ongakwazi ukulawula indlela azizwa ngayo lapho ethanda. Ngikholwani, ngezinye izikhathi kulula kimi ukusiza abanye kunami,” kukhononda uJohn Duffy, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esisemtholampilo nombhali wencwadi ethi Parents in Access: An Optimistic View of Parenting Teens.

Iyakwazi ukushintsha

“Ngaphambi kokubhekana nengcindezi, udinga ukuqaphela ukuthi unayo. Futhi lokhu akubonakali ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngizama ukulalela izimpawu zomzimba wami, kusho uJohn Duffy. Isibonelo, umlenze wami uqala ukuthuthumela noma ikhanda lami liyahlukana.

Ukuqeda ukucindezeleka, ngiyabhala. Ngibhala phansi imicabango yezihloko, ngigcine idayari, noma ngimane ngibhale amaphuzu. Kimina, lokhu kuwukuzivocavoca okusebenzayo kakhulu. Ngingena ngamabomu enqubweni yokudala, futhi ikhanda lami liyasuswa, futhi ukushuba kuyadamba. Ngemva kwalokho, ngiyakwazi ukukubheka kahle lokho okungikhathazayo futhi ngibone ukuthi ngingabhekana kanjani nakho.

Ngizizwa ngendlela efanayo ngemva kokuya ejimini noma ngokugijima. Kuyithuba lokushintsha."

Lalela imizwa yakho

UDeborah Serani, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esisemtholampilo nombhali wencwadi ethi Living with Depression, uzama ukulalela umzimba wakhe futhi awunikeze lokho okufunayo ngesikhathi. “Imizwa idlala indima enkulu kimina: imisindo, iphunga, ukushintsha kwezinga lokushisa. Ikhithi yami yokucindezeleka ihlanganisa yonke into ethinta izinzwa: ukupheka, ukwenza ingadi, ukudweba, ukuzindla, i-yoga, ukuhamba, ukulalela umculo. Ngithanda ukuhlala eduze kwefasitela elivuliwe emoyeni omusha, futhi ngigeze nge-lavender enephunga elimnandi nenkomishi yetiye le-chamomile.

Ngidinga isikhathi sami nje, noma ngabe kusho ukuhlala ngedwa emotweni imizuzu embalwa, ngincike esihlalweni sami ngilalele i-jazz emsakazweni. Uma ungibona nginje, ungasondeli kimi."

Sicela ngokwabo

UJeffrey Sumber, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, umbhali, nothisha, usondela ekucindezelekeni ngokwefilosofi…kanye namahlaya ambalwa. “Uma nginengcindezi, ngithanda ukudla kahle. Kufanele kube ukudla okunempilo. Ngikhetha ngokucophelela imikhiqizo (yonke into kufanele ibe freshest!), Yisike ngokucophelela, ngenze isoso futhi ujabulele isidlo esiphekiwe. Kimina, le nqubo ifana nokuzindla. Futhi ngihlala ngikhipha i-smartphone yami, ngithatha isithombe sesitsha esiqediwe bese ngisithumela ku-Facebook: (inhlangano eyeqisayo evinjelwe eRussia) bavumele abangani bami bangimonele.

Dweba imingcele

“Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuzivikela ekucindezelekeni iwukubeka imingcele,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uRyan Howes. — Ngizama ukuqala nokuqeda amaseshini ngesikhathi ukuze kube negebe lemizuzu eyishumi. Ngalesi sikhathi, ngingabhala inothi, ngishaye ucingo, ngidle ukudla okulula ... noma ngibambe umoya futhi ngiqoqe imicabango yami. Imizuzu eyishumi ayinde, kodwa kwanele ukubuyisela futhi ulungiselele iseshini elandelayo.

Yiqiniso, akwenzeki ngaso sonke isikhathi ukulandela ngokuqinile lo mthetho. Namanye amaklayenti, ngingakwazi ukuhlala isikhathi eside. Kodwa ngizama ukunamathela esimisweni, ngoba ekugcineni kuyangizuzisa - ngakho-ke amaklayenti ami.

Ekhaya, ngizama ukunqamula umsebenzi: Ngishiya wonke amaphepha ami, idayari, ucingo lwezingcingo zebhizinisi ehhovisi ukuze kungabikho isilingo sokuphula umbuso.

Landela amasiko

“Njengesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nomama wezingane eziyisithupha, ngibhekana nokucindezeleka ngaphezu kwalokho ebengingathanda,” kuvuma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nesazi sangemva kokubeletha uChristina Hibbert. Kodwa njengoba iminyaka ihamba, ngiye ngafunda ukuqaphela izimpawu zayo futhi ngibhekane nazo ngaphambi kokuba ngithuke. Ngiyihlele kahle impilo yami ukuze ukushuba nokukhathala kungangithusi. Ukuzivocavoca kwasekuseni, ukufunda iBhayibheli, ukuzindla, umthandazo. Ukudla okunempilo okunomsoco, ukuze amandla anele isikhathi eside. Ukulala okuhle (lapho izingane zivuma).

Ngiphinde ngiqinisekise ukuthi ngibekela eceleni isikhathi sokuphumula phakathi nosuku: ngilale isikhashana, ngifunde amakhasi ambalwa, noma ngiphumule. Ukuze nginciphise ukungezwani emzimbeni wami, ngiya ukuyobhucungwa ngokujulile okungenani kanye ngesonto. Ngiyakuthanda nokugeza okushisa ngosuku olubandayo.

I-stress angiyiphathi njengenkinga. Kunalokho, kuyithuba lokubheka kabusha ukuphila kwakho. Uma ngicophelela kakhulu, ngiwela ekufuneni ukuphelela, bese ngibuyekeza izibopho zami. Uma ngicasuka futhi ngikhetha, lokhu kuwuphawu lokuthi ngithatha kakhulu. Lesi isignali ye-alamu: thatha isikhathi sakho, yiba mnene, uqalaze, uzizwe uphila.

Gxila esenzweni

Yini okufanele uyenze uma ukucindezeleka kukukhubaza futhi kukuvimbela ukuba ucabange ngokwanele? Umelaphi uJoyce Marter usebenzisa izindlela ezivela kunqolobane ye-Alcoholics Anonymous: «Zinalo mqondo -» into elandelayo efanele. Lapho ngigajwe ukucindezeleka, ngicishe ngihluleke ukuzibamba. Bese ngenza okuthile okukhiqizayo, njengokuhlanza indawo yami yokusebenza ukuze ngizizwe ngikhululekile. Akunandaba ukuthi isenzo sami esilandelayo sizoba yini. Kubalulekile ukuthi kuyasiza ukushintsha, ukususa ukugxila kokuhlangenwe nakho. Lapho nje ngibuyela ezingqondweni, ngokushesha ngichaza uhlelo: yini okufanele yenziwe ukuze kuqedwe imbangela yokukhathazeka.

Ngenza imikhuba yomoya: ukuphefumula kwe-yoga, ukuzindla. Lokhu kukuvumela ukuthi uthulise imicabango engaphumuli, ungagxili esikhathini esedlule nekusasa, futhi uzinikele ngokugcwele enkathini yamanje. Ukuze ngithulise umgxeki wami wangaphakathi, ngiphinda buthule i-mantra, “Ngingumuntu nje. Ngenza konke okusemandleni ami.” Ngilahla zonke izinto ezingenasidingo futhi ngizame ukuphathisa abanye lokho engingakwazi ukukwenza mina.

Ngineqembu lokusekela - abantu abasondelene engibelana nabo ngemicabango yami nokuhlangenwe nakho kwami, engicela kubo usizo, izeluleko. Ngizikhumbuza ukuthi i-stress iyafika futhi idlule. "Nalokhu kuzodlula". Ekugcineni, ngizama ukukhipha ekuhlangenwe nakho kwami, ukufunda inkinga ngama-engeli ahlukene. Uma kungeyona indaba yokuphila nokufa, ngizama ukuthi ngingabi sína kakhulu: ngezinye izikhathi amahlaya asiza ukuthola izixazululo ezingalindelekile.

Akekho ongakugwema ukucindezeleka. Uma isidlula, sizwa sengathi sihlaselwa nhlangothi zonke. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuthi ukwazi ukusebenza nayo ngendlela efanele.

Mhlawumbe ungasebenzisa izindlela ezichazwe ngenhla. Noma mhlawumbe uzogqugquzelwa yizo futhi uzenzele isivikelo sakho ezivunguvungwini ezingokomoya. Enye indlela noma enye, uhlelo lokusebenza olucatshangelwe kahle luyi-"airbag" enhle ezosindisa ingqondo yakho lapho ubhekene nokucindezeleka.