Ukuze uzuze inhliziyo yomlingani ongase abe khona kunoma yikuphi ubulili, udinga ukuhleka amahlaya akhe.
Lokhu kutholwa kwenziwa abacwaningi baseNorwegian University of Science and Technology, okubhalwe kubo encwadini ethi Evolutionary Psychology.
Ukudlala ngothando kuyithuluzi elibaluleke kakhulu lokusungula ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo nomuntu ongase abe umaqondana noma ocansini naye. Amaqhinga abantu abawasebenzisayo lapho bedlala ngothando angaba ngamazwi (njengokuncoma) futhi angakhulumi (ulimi lomzimba).
Ososayensi banqume ukuqhathanisa ukuthi yimaphi amaqhinga abantu bobulili obuhlukene abawasebenzisayo lapho bedlala ngothando. Cishe inkulungwane yabafundi basemanyuvesi abavela eNorway nase-USA babambe iqhaza ocwaningweni.
Abahlanganyeli bacelwe ukuthi baphendule uchungechunge lwemibuzo mayelana namaqhinga okudlala ngothando abawathandayo ezimeni ezahlukene.
Abacwaningi baklama ngokukhethekile izinguqulo ezine zohlu lwemibuzo: owesifazane odlala ngothando nowesilisa ngobuhlobo besikhathi esifushane noma eside, futhi, ngokufanayo, indoda edlala ngothando nowesifazane ngokulindeleke ukuba alale isikhathi esisodwa noma isikhathi eside- ubudlelwano besikhathi. Ngamunye wabahlanganyeli, kuye ngobulili, uthole enye yezinguqulo zohlu lwemibuzo.
Ekugcineni, kwavela ukuthi amadoda nabesifazane ngokuyisisekelo basebenzisa amasu afanayo okudlala ngothando, kodwa, kuye ngomgomo, amanye amasu asebenza kangcono kanti amanye amabi kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, ukubonakaliswa kokutholakala kocansi (izingubo ezifanele, ukubonisa izingxenye ezivulekile zomzimba) ngokusekelwe ebuhlotsheni besikhathi esifushane kusebenza kuphela uma abesifazane beziphatha ngale ndlela, hhayi amadoda. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abesifazane abafuna ubulili besikhathi esisodwa kuphela nomuntu ojwayelene nabo akufanele balindele ukuthi ukuziphatha kobungane kuzobasiza ukuba basondele kulo mgomo - ukugona, ukumanga esihlathini, amahlaya.
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, emadodeni, amahlaya, kanye nokubonakaliswa okuvulekile kokuphana nokungathi sína kwezinhloso zabo, kusiza ukusungula ubuhlobo besikhathi eside nowesifazane.
Kodwa-ke, njengoba abacwaningi bathola, kuneqhinga lokudlala ngothando elisebenza ngokulinganayo kubo bobabili ubulili kuzo zonke izimo. Uma ugigitheka futhi uhleka amahlaya ongase abe umlingani wakho, unethuba elihle lobudlelwano besikhathi esifushane nobesikhathi eside naye.