Lapho abantu esibathandayo beza kithi nobuhlungu babo, senza konke esingakwenza ukuze sibaduduze. Kodwa ukwesekwa akufanele kubhekwe njengesenzo sokuzinikela okumsulwa. Ucwaningo lwakamuva lufakazela ukuthi ukududuza abanye kuyasizuzisa thina.
Imizwa engemihle ivame ukuba nomuzwa womuntu siqu kakhulu futhi isenze sihoxe kwabanye, kodwa indlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nayo ukufinyelela abantu. Ngokusekela abanye, sihlakulela amakhono angokomzwelo asisiza ukuba sibhekane nezinkinga zethu. Lesi siphetho safinyelelwa amaqembu amabili ososayensi lapho efingqa imiphumela yocwaningo olwenziwa ngokuzimela komunye nomunye.
Sizisiza kanjani
Ucwaningo lokuqala lwenziwa iqembu lezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zase-Columbia University eliholwa nguBruce Dore. Njengengxenye yocwaningo, ababambiqhaza abangu-166 baxhumane amasonto amathathu kunethiwekhi yokuxhumana nabantu abayidalele ngokukhethekile ukusebenza ngesipiliyoni. Ngaphambi nangemva kokuhlolwa, ababambiqhaza bagcwalise uhlu lwemibuzo olwaluhlola izici ezihlukahlukene zempilo yabo yemizwa kanye nempilo enhle.
Engosini yokuxhumana nabantu, ababambiqhaza bathumele okufakiwe futhi babeka amazwana kokuthunyelwe kwabanye ababambiqhaza. Bangashiya izinhlobo ezintathu zamazwana, ahambisana nezindlela ezahlukene zokulawula imizwa:
Ukuqinisekiswa kwe - lapho wamukela futhi uqonda okuhlangenwe nakho komunye umuntu: "Ngiyazwelana nawe, ngezinye izikhathi izinkinga ziwela phezu kwethu njengezigaxa, ngokulandelana."
Ukuhlaziya - uma unikeza ukubheka isimo ngendlela ehlukile: «Ngicabanga ukuthi sidinga ukucabangela futhi ...».
Inkomba yephutha — lapho udonsela ukunaka komuntu emaphutheni okucabanga: «Uhlukanisa yonke into ibe mhlophe futhi ibe mnyama», «Awukwazi ukufunda imicabango yabanye abantu, ungacabangeli abanye.
Abahlanganyeli abavela eqenjini elilawulayo bangathumela kuphela amanothi mayelana nokuzizwisa kwabo futhi ababonanga okuthunyelwe kwabanye abantu — njengokungathi bagcina idayari eku-inthanethi.
Ngokusiza abanye balawule imizwa yabo, siqeqesha ikhono lethu lokulawula imizwa.
Ekupheleni kokuhlolwa, iphethini yembulwa: lapho umuntu eshiya amazwana amaningi, wajabula kakhulu. Isimo sakhe sengqondo saba ngcono, izimpawu zokucindezeleka kanye nokuthambekela kokuzindla okungenazithelo kwehla. Kulokhu, uhlobo lwamazwana alubhala lwalungenandaba. Iqembu lokulawula, lapho amalungu athumele khona amaposi awo kuphela, alizange libe ngcono.
Ababhali balolu cwaningo bakholelwa ukuthi umphumela omuhle ngokwengxenye ubangelwa ukuthi abahlaziyi baqala ukubheka izimpilo zabo ngendlela ehlukile kaningi. Ngokusiza abanye ukuba babhekane nemizwelo yabo, baqeqeshe ikhono labo lokulawula imizwelo.
Akunandaba ukuthi babasiza kanjani abanye: babesekela, baveze amaphutha ekucabangeni, noma banikeze ukubheka inkinga ngenye indlela. Into esemqoka ukusebenzisana kanjalo.
Indlela esibasiza ngayo abanye
Ucwaningo lwesibili lwenziwa ososayensi bakwa-Israel - isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo emitholampilo u-Einat Levi-Gigi kanye nesazi se-neuropsychologist uSimone Shamai-Tsoori. Bameme amapheya angama-45, ngalinye lawo akhetha isifundo sokuhlola kanye nomlawuli.
Izihloko zabuka uchungechunge lwezithombe ezicindezelayo, njengezithombe zezicabucabu nezingane ezikhalayo. Abalawuli babone izithombe kafushane kuphela. Khona-ke, umbhangqwana wanquma ukuthi yimaphi amasu amabili anikeziwe okuphatha imizwelo okufanele asetshenziswe: ukuhlaziya kabusha, okusho ukuhumusha isithombe ngendlela eyakhayo, noma isiphazamiso, okusho ukucabanga ngenye into. Ngemva kwalokho, isihloko senza ngokuhambisana neqhinga elikhethiwe futhi sabika indlela esizizwa ngayo ngenxa yalokho.
Ososayensi baqaphele ukuthi amasu abalawuli asebenza ngempumelelo futhi izifundo eziwasebenzisayo azizwa engcono. Ababhali bayachaza: lapho singaphansi kokucindezeleka, ngaphansi kwejoka lemizwelo engemihle, kungaba nzima ukuqonda ukuthi yini engcono kakhulu kithi. Ukubheka isimo ngaphandle, ngaphandle kokubandakanyeka ngokomzwelo, kunciphisa amazinga okucindezeleka futhi kuthuthukisa ukulawulwa kwemizwelo.
Ikhono eliyinhloko
Uma sisiza omunye ukuthi abhekane nemizwa yakhe engemihle, sifunda nokuphatha kangcono ukuzizwisa kwethu. Enhliziyweni yale nqubo yikhono lokubuka isimo ngeso lomunye umuntu, uzicabange usendaweni yakhe.
Ocwaningweni lokuqala, abacwaningi bahlole leli khono ngokungaqondile. Abahloli babale ukuthi abahlaziyi basebenzise kaningi kangakanani amagama ahlobene nomunye umuntu: “wena”, “yakho”, “wena”. Lapho amagama engeziwe ehlotshaniswa nombhali wokuthunyelwe, kulapho umbhali elinganisela phezulu ukubaluleka kwamazwana futhi wabonisa ukubonga ngenkuthalo.
Ocwaningweni lwesibili, ababambiqhaza bathathe ukuhlolwa okukhethekile okwahlola amandla abo okuzibeka endaweni yomunye. Uma abalawuli bethola amaphuzu engeziwe kulokhu kuhlolwa, kulapho amasu abawakhethile esebenza ngempumelelo kakhulu. Izilawuli ezingabheka isimo ngokombono wesihloko zazisebenza kahle kakhulu ekudambiseni ubuhlungu bomlingani wabo.
Uzwela, okungukuthi, ikhono lokubona umhlaba ngeso lomunye umuntu, luzuzisa wonke umuntu. Awudingi ukuhlupheka uwedwa. Uma uzizwa kabi, funa usizo kwabanye abantu. Lokhu kuzothuthukisa hhayi isimo sakho somzwelo kuphela, kodwa nesabo.