Okuqukethwe
Kusukela ku-0 kuye ku-2 ubudala: izingane azithobekile
Kusukela ekuzalweni kuya eminyakeni emi-2, ingane idlula enkathini ecebile ngoshintsho. Uma ekuqaleni, engazihlukanisi nonina, phakathi nezinyanga, uzokwenza qaphela umzimba wakho ngokushukuma komzimba kuye. Ithwalwe, igonwe, igoqwe yizingalo ezisimbozile, umntwana uyakhula futhi ubuhlobo bakhe nabanye buyashintsha: uba isilwane esincane esihlukene ngokuphathelene nomhlaba omzungezile.
Selokhu azalwa, uthanda ukuba nqunu. Ngesikhathi sokugeza nangesikhathi sokushintsha, ngaphandle kwe-diaper yakhe, ukhululekile ukuhamba futhi anikine imilenze yakhe emincane ejabule kakhulu! Ubunqunu abubeki nkinga kuye, akasazi isizotha! Bese kufika isikhathi semilenze emine, futhi akuhlangani ukuthi uhamba izinqa emoyeni endlini noma, uma esehamba, ugijima enqunu ehlobo engadini. Akukho okuxakayo kuye nakubantu abadala, akukho okuphazamisayo, yebo! Futhi nokho, kusukela ezinyangeni zokuqala ukuthi kubalulekile ukuhlonipha ubumfihlo bakho ngoba isizotha asizalwa (ngisho noma ezinye izingane zinesizotha kunezinye), futhi yilapho kufanele uqale khona ukufunda. Onisibonelo ugwema ukuyishintsha ebhentshini lomphakathi… “Lesi sikhathi sokuqala akukabi yileso sokuthobeka ngokwaso, kuchaza uchwepheshe wethu, nokho isigaba ngasinye sokuhlukaniswa (ngesikhathi sokulunyulwa, inkulisa…) kufanele sihambisane nokulungiswa kwebanga, kothintana naye. , imfundo yabanqatshelwe. “
Izingane ezineminyaka emi-2 kuye kweyisi-6: sisekela ukufunda kwazo ngesizotha
Okwabafundi abaneminyaka engaphezu kwengu-2, izingane ziqala hlukanisa abafana namantombazane. “Lesi sikhathi ngokwemvelo siholela abazali ekushintsheni izenzo zabo. Ngokwesibonelo, ubaba angase atshele intombazanyana yakhe ukuthi ngeke isakwazi ukugeza nayo ngenxa yokuthi iyakhula. Kodwa lokho ngeke kubavimbe ekuzijabuliseni ndawonye ehlobo emanzini echibini lokubhukuda noma olwandle, ”kuchaza uPhilippe Scialom.
Cishe iminyaka engu-4 ubudala, ingane ingena enkathini ye-oedipal engahlanganisi kuphela isimemezelo sothando kumzali wayo wobulili obuhlukile, kodwa ehambisana nokungaboni ngaso linye, ukubuyisana, ukwenqatshwa kanye nokuhlangana nomzali ngamunye kulaba ababili. Iqhaza lakho libalulekile kulesi sikhathi ngoba yisikhathi sokubeka phansi umthetho ovimbela ukuzalana kwezihlobo.
Uma esimweni sakhe sengqondo, isifiso sokuthatha indawo yomunye umzali sibonisa ngokucacile, kungcono ukucaca kakhulu futhi hlela kabusha isimo ngamagama afanele : cha, asiziphathi kanjalo nomama noma nobaba, ngokufanayo nomalume, umalumekazi ...
Imvamisa kule minyaka lapho izingane zikhombisa isifiso sokugqoka zodwa. Mkhuthaze! Uyoziqhenya zuza ukuzimela, futhi uzokujabulela ukungawuvezi umzimba wakhe phambi kwakho.
Ubufakazi bukaCyril: “Indodakazi yami isiba nesizotha. ”
Lapho esemncane, uJosephine wayehambahamba ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokuthi unqunu noma cha. Kusukela eneminyaka engu-5 ubudala, siye saba nomuzwa wokuthi lokhu sekushintshile: uvala umnyango lapho esendlini yokugezela futhi angaba namahloni okuhamba engagqokile. Okuxakayo ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi uchitha isigamu sosuku endlini izinqe zakhe zivuliwe, egqoke isikibha esilula. Kuyinto engaqondakali. ” UCyril, ubaba kaJoséphine, oneminyaka emi-5, u-Alba, oneminyaka emi-3, noThibault, oneminyaka engu-1 ubudala
Iminyaka engu-6 ubudala: izingane sezithobekile
Kusukela eminyakeni engu-6, ingane ephumelele lezi zigaba ilahlekelwa isithakazelo kule mibuzo futhi iqondise ukunaka kwayo ekufundeni. Uqala ukuba nesizotha. Nakuba phambilini ubehamba enqunu efulethini ngaphandle kwenkinga, uyaqhela futhi kwesinye isikhathi aze akucele ukuthi ungamsiza endlini yakhe yangasese. “Kuwuphawu oluhle kakhulu uma engasakufuni endlini yangasese lapho egeza noma egqoka,” kuphawula uchwepheshe. Lesi simo sengqondo sibonisa ukuthi wayeqonda ukuthi umzimba wakhe ungowakhe. Ngokuhlonipha isifiso sakhe, uyambona njengomuntu ngokwalo. »Isinyathelo esikhulu sokuzimela.
Isizotha: abazali kufanele basebenzise imikhawulo nengane yabo
Abazali kufanele futhi bazivumelanise nokukhula kwengane yabo
lokho kukhula. Umama angabonisa intombazanyana yakhe indlela yokuhlanza, futhi ubaba angafundisa umfana wakhe omncane ukugeza. “Kukubazali futhi ukuthi bahlukanise phakathi kwengane egulayo edinga ukuba seduze nabo, ikakhulukazi ngobusuku obubodwa, naleyo engena embhedeni njalo kusihlwa, noma enye evula iminyango yewodi. okugeza noma izindlu zangasese, ngenkathi ecelwa ukuba alinde, ”kuphawula isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Ngaphezu kokulungisa, ukufunda isizotha nakho kumayelana amalungelo abekwe ngokucacile, ukuvinjelwa kanye nemingcele mayelana nomzimba kanye nokusondelana kwawo. Sikhohlwa ibhodwe noweyi phakathi kwendlu yokuphumula ngokumchazela ukuthi ngalokho, kukhona indlu yangasese noma yokugezela. Ucelwa kakhulu amboze umzimba wakhe lapho ephambi kwabantungisho uzungezwe abathandekayo. Ngoba ukufunda nesizotha nakho imfundo yokuhlonipha wena nomzimba womuntu: "Okwenqatshelwe kuwe kunqatshelwe nakwabanye, abangenalo ilungelo lokukulimaza, ukukuthinta". Ingane ihlanganisa ngokwemvelo ukuthi kufanele siyihloniphe. Uzofunda ukuzivikela, ukuzivikela futhi abone izimo ezivamile nezingavamile.
Umbhali: Elisabeth de La Morandière