Okuqukethwe
Intukuthelo, ukwesaba, injabulo, injabulo… Izingane ziyizipontshi ezingokomzwelo! Futhi ngezinye izikhathi, sibona sengathi bazivumele ukuthi bagajwe yilokhu kuchichima. Catherine Aimelet-Périssol *, udokotela kanye ne-psychotherapist, sisize sibeke amagama ezimweni eziqinile zemizwa… futhi inikeza izixazululo ngenhlalakahle yezingane, kanye nabazali!
Akafuni ukulala yedwa ekamelweni lakhe
>>Wesaba izilo...
I-DECRYPTION. “Ingane ifuna ukuphepha. Kodwa-ke, ikamelo lakhe lokulala lingaba indawo yokungazethembi uma eke wabhekana nesimo esibi lapho, waba namaphupho amabi lapho… Ube esezizwa engenakuzisiza futhi efuna ukuba khona komuntu omdala ”, kuchaza uCatherine Aimelet-Périssol *. Yingakho amaphupho akhe echichima: uyesaba impisi, wesaba ubumnyama… Konke lokhu kungokwemvelo futhi kuhlose ukuheha umzali ukuba aqinisekiswe.
ISELULEKO : Indima yomzali ukulalela lokhu kwesaba, lesi sifiso sokulondeka. I-psychotherapist iphakamisa ukuqinisa ingane ngokuyibonisa ukuthi konke kuvaliwe. Uma lokho kungenele, mphelezele ukuze yena ngokwakhe asabele esifisweni sakhe sokulondeka. Ngokwesibonelo, mbuze ukuthi angenzenjani uma ebona isilo? Ngaleyo ndlela uzofuna izindlela “zokuzivikela”. Umcabango wakhe ovundile kufanele ube senkonzweni yakhe. Kumelwe afunde ukuyisebenzisa ukuze athole izixazululo.
Uyamenqabela ukuthi abone ikhathuni
>> Uthukuthele
I-DECRYPTION. Ngemva kwentukuthelo, uCatherine Aimelet-Périssol uchaza ukuthi ngaphezu kwakho konke umntwana unesifiso sokuqashelwa: “Izitshela ukuthi uma ikuthola ekufunayo, ifuna ukuqashelwa. uzobonwa njengomuntu ophelele. Nokho, kunesibopho sokuzithoba nabazali bakhe. Uncike kubo ukuze azizwe eqashelwa ”. Ingane izwakalise isifiso sokubuka ikhathuni ngoba ithanda, kodwa nesifiso sayo sokubonwa.
ISELULEKO : Ungamtshela ukuthi, “Ngiyabona ukuthi le khathuni ibaluleke kangakanani kuwe. Ngiyabona ukuthi uthukuthele kangakanani. »Kodwa uchwepheshe uyagcizelela ukuthi kumele sibambelele kumthetho obekiwe : ayikho ikhathuni. Xoxa naye ukuze akutshele ukuthi yini ayithanda kakhulu ngale filimu. Angakwazi kanjalo ukuveza akuthandayo, ukuzwela kwakhe. Uduna indlela athole ukuthi uyaziwa (buka ikhathuni), kodwa ucabangela isidingo sokuqashelwa wengane, futhi iyamthoba.
Uhlele uhambo lokuya ezu nabazala bakho
>>Uqhuma injabulo
I-DECRYPTION. Injabulo ingumzwelo owakhayo. Ngokusho kochwepheshe, kumntwana, kuwuhlobo lomvuzo ophelele. “Ukubonakaliswa kwayo kungaba nzima kakhulu. Ngendlela efanayo ukuthi umuntu omdala uhleka, akukwazi ukuchazwa, kodwa lomzwelo ukhona. Asiyiphathi imizwa yethu, siphila ngayo. Zingokwemvelo futhi kufanele zikwazi ukuziveza, ”kuchaza uCatherine Aimelet-Périssol.
ISELULEKO : Kuzoba nzima ukumelana nalokhu kuchichima. Kodwa uchwepheshe uhlongoza ukubekela ingane inselele ku-nugget evusa injabulo yakhe futhi ivuse ilukuluku lethu. Mbuze ukuthi yini emjabulisa ngempela. Kuyiqiniso yini ukubona abazala bakhe? Ukuya ezu? Kungani ? Gxila esizathwini. Ngaleyondlela uzomholela ekucaciseni, asho, ukuthi yini emthokozisayo. Uzowukhomba umzwelo wakhe futhi ehlise umoya lapho ekhuluma.
"Isu elihle lendodana yami yokwehlisa umoya"
Lapho u-Ilie ecasukile, uyangingiza. Ukuze amehlise umoya, umelaphi wenkulumo watusa indlela “yonodoli onogwaja”. Kufanele aqhume, bese ecindezela imilenze yakhe kakhulu, imizuzu engu-3, futhi aphumule ngokuphelele. Isebenza ngaso sonke isikhathi! Ngemva kwalokho, ukhululekile futhi uyakwazi ukuveza imizwa yakhe ngomoya ophansi. ”
U-Noureddine, ubaba ka-Ilie, oneminyaka engu-5 ubudala.
Inja yakhe isifile
>> Udabukile
I-DECRYPTION. Ngokufa kwesilwane sakhe esifuywayo, ingane ufunda usizi nokuhlukana. “Usizi lubangelwa nomuzwa wokungabi nakuzisiza. Akukho angakwenza ngokumelene nokufa kwenja yakhe, ”kuchaza uCatherine Aimelet-Périssol.
ISELULEKO : Kumele simphelezele osizini lwakhe. Ngalokho, amduduze ngokumanga nokumgona. “Amagama awasho lutho. Udinga ukuzwa ukuthintana ngokomzimba kwabantu abathandayo, ukuze azizwe ephila naphezu kokushona kwenja yakhe, ”kwengeza uchwepheshe. Ningacabanga ndawonye ngokuthi nizokwenzani ngebhizinisi lenja, nikhulume ngezinkumbulo eninazo nayo… Umqondo uwukusiza ingane ithole ukuthi inethuba lokuthatha isinyathelo sokulwa. umuzwa wakhe wokungabi nakuzisiza.
Uhlala ekhoneni lakhe enkundleni yakhe yethenisi
>> Uyesaba
I-DECRYPTION. “Umntwana kayenelisi ukwesaba lapho ebhekane lesimo sangempela. Umcabango wakhe uyasebenza futhi uyathatha. Ucabanga ukuthi abanye abantu bakhohlakele. Unokuzimelela kwakhe okwehlile, ”kusho i-psychotherapist. Ngakho ucabanga ukuthi abanye banezinhloso ezimbi, ngakho uzivalela ezinkolelweni zakhe. Uyakungabaza nokubaluleka kwakhe uma eqhathaniswa nabanye futhi ukwesaba kuyamqeda amandla.
ISELULEKO : “Awuyishintshi ingane enamahloni ibe ingane ecashile ehlekisa umhlangano wonke,” kuxwayisa udokotela. “Kumele uyihlanganise nendlela yayo. Amahloni akhe amvumela ukuthi azinike isikhathi sokukhomba abanye. Ukuqonda kwayo, ukusetha kwayo emuva kuyinani langempela futhi. Akudingekile ukuthi uzame ukuphuma kukho. Kodwa-ke, kungenzeka ukunciphisa ukukhathazeka kwakho ngokuya ngokwakho kumfundisi noma ingane, isibonelo. Umxhumanisa nabanye ukuze azizwe ekhululekile. Umphumela weqembu ungaba umxhwele ngempela. Umntanakho ngeke esabe kakhulu uma ezwelana noyedwa noma ababili abancane.
Akazange amenywe ephathini yosuku lokuzalwa lukaJules
>> Udumele
I-DECRYPTION. Kungumzwelo osondelene kakhulu nokudabuka, kodwa futhi nentukuthelo. Enganeni, ukungamenywa yisoka layo akumele ibonwe, ithandeke. Uzitshela ukuthi akanasithakazelo futhi angabhekana nakho njengokulahlwa.
ISELULEKO : Ngokusho kochwepheshe, kufanele kuqashelwe ukuthi ubelindele okuthile ngokwenani. Mbuze ngesimo senkolelo yakhe: “Mhlawumbe ucabanga ukuthi akasakuthandi? »Buza ukuthi kukhona yini ongakwenza ukuze umsize. Mkhumbuze ukuthi isoka lakhe alikwazanga ukumema wonke umuntu ngosuku lwalo lokuzalwa, ukuthi bekufanele likhethe. Njengengane yakho lapho imema abangani. Lokhu kuyomsiza aqonde ukuthi kukhona nemibandela yezinto ezibonakalayo echaza ukuthi kungani engamenywanga, ukuthi isizathu singase singabi ngokomzwelo. Shintsha ingqondo yakhe futhi umkhumbuze ngezimfanelo zakhe.
* umsunguli wesayithi: www.logique-emotionnelle.com