Ukukhala noma ukuklabalasa komntwana kungabadina futhi kudide abazali. Ukwenqaba ukulala, ukukhala lapho nje ukubeke phansi, noma ukukhala ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka, ngezinye izikhathi kunzima ukulawula isithuthwane sakho kanye nokukhulula ingane yakho. Kodwa kukho konke lokho, singakhuluma “ngamazwi”?

Lokho umzali osemncane angakaze akuzwe nakanye empilweni yakhe “akakhale embhedeni, kumane nje kuyiwashi”. Uma ujwayele izingalo zakho, ngeke usaba nempilo. “? Nokho, ngaphambi kwezinyanga ezingu-18, ingane ayikayazi ukuthi iyini inkanuko futhi ayikwazi ukuzenzela yona ngokuzenzakalelayo. Ngempela, ingane kumelwe ifune okuthile kuqala ukuze ikwazi ukuveza ukukhungatheka kwayo. Kodwa ngaphambi kwalesi sikhathi, ubuchopho bakhe abukathuthuki ngokwanele ukuqonda isithombe esikhulu.

Uma umntwana ekhala ngokushesha nje lapho efakwa embhedeni wakhe, incazelo ilula kakhulu: idinga ukuqinisekiswa, ilambile, ibanda, noma idinga ukushintshwa. Ekuqaleni kokuphila kwayo, umntwana uzwakalisa ngokukhala kwakhe futhi ekhala kuphela izidingo ezingokwenyama nezingokomzwelo ezaziyo.

Kusukela eminyakeni emi-2, ingane iyaziqinisekisa futhi ithola ukuzimela. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, uqala ukuveza izifiso nezifiso zakhe, ezingadala izingxabano nezingxabano phambi kwabantu abadala. Uvivinya abahambeli bakhe kodwa futhi nemingcele yakhe, ngakho-ke kuvame ukuba kule minyaka lapho ekunikeza khona intukuthelo yakhe enkulu.

Ngakho-ke, ukuze bahlukanise phakathi kokufisa nesidingo sangempela, abazali kumelwe balalele futhi baqonde ukusabela kwengane yabo. Ukhalelani noma ukhalelani? Uma ekhuluma kahle ngokwanele, mbuze futhi umsize aqonde indlela asabela ngayo kanye nemizwa yakhe, noma zama ukuqonda umongo okwenzeka kuwo isimo esibucayi: ingabe wayesaba? Ingabe wayekhathele? njll.

Uma wenqabela isenzo esithile noma wenqaba ukuvumela esinye sezicelo zaso, chaza ukuthi kungani. Uma edumele noma ethukuthele, ungathukutheli futhi umbonise ukuthi uyayiqonda imizwa yakhe kodwa ngeke uvume. Kumele afunde ukwazi imingcele yakho neyakhe, futhi kufanele abhekane nokukhungatheka ukuze akuhlanganise nemizwelo yakhe.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuze amnike inkululeko ethile futhi ajwayele ukulawula izifiso zakhe, mvumele enze izinqumo lapho kungenzeka.

Ngaphambi kweminyaka engu-5, kunzima ukukhuluma mayelana whim real. Ngempela, kuleli gama, kuqondwa ngokucacile ukuthi ingane ikhetha ukucasula abazali bayo ngenhlekelele ayihlela kusengaphambili. Kodwa ezinganeni zale minyaka, kuwumbuzo wokuhlola imingcele ukuze uzazi futhi uzivumelanise nezinye izimo. Ngakho uma uhlela ukuvumela isifiso sakhe sokuzola, zitshele ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakho kungaba yingozi ekuphileni kwakhe kwesikhathi esizayo nokufunda kwakhe ukukhungatheka.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukumvumela kaningi futhi ahambisane nezicelo zakhe ukuze agweme izinkinga, kuzomfundisa ukuthi udinga ukuklabalasa nokukhala kuphela ukuze athole lokho akufunayo. Ngakho uzifaka engozini yokuthola umphumela ophambene nalokho obukufuna ekuqaleni. Ngamafuphi, hlala uqinile kodwa uzolile futhi ngaso sonke isikhathi uzinike isikhathi sokuchaza nokuthethelela ukwenqaba kwakho. Asisho yini ukuthi “imfundo iwuthando nokukhungatheka”?

Enye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokwehlisa umoya nokusiza ingane noma ingane ukuthi iqhubeke iwukudlala futhi kumnandi. Ngokuhlongoza omunye umsebenzi noma ngokumtshela i-anecdote, omncane ugxilisa umzwelo wakhe esithakazelweni esisha futhi akhohlwe izizathu zenkinga yakhe. Isibonelo, esitolo, uma ingane icela ithoyizi ongafuni ukumnika yona, yima uqine futhi wenqabe ukuvuma kodwa kunalokho unikeze ukukhetha i-dessert.

Okokugcina, khumbula njalo ukuthi ingane yakho encane ayizami ukukucasula noma ukukucasula phakathi nesiqephu esithi "whim". Ukukhala kwakhe nezinyembezi kuhlale kuhumusha kwasekuqaleni, izidingo ezisheshayo noma ukungakhululeki okufanele ukucabangele nokuthi kufanele uzame ukukuqonda nokukhulula ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka.