Ukutholwa kwengane kuletha injabulo enkulu, kodwa akuyona inganekwane ngaso sonke isikhathi. Nazi ezinye izakhi zokwazi ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nezikhathi ezijabulisayo kanye nezinzima.

Ukutholwa kuyinqubo ende futhi eyinkimbinkimbi: abazali besikhathi esizayo badlula ezingxoxweni ezingenakubalwa, ukulinda ngezinye izikhathi kuthatha iminyaka eminingana, njalo ngosongo lokuthi konke kuzokhanselwa ngomzuzu wokugcina.

Phakathi nalesi sikhathi sokubambezeleka, isimo sokutholwa singase sibe sihle. Uma ingane isiphenduke eyakho, futhi ihlala nawe, kungazelelwe kufanele ubhekane nobunzima. Umndeni owakhiwe ngokutholwa uhlanganisa ndawonye amaphrofayili amabili ayinkimbinkimbi: abazali, ngokuvamile abaphumelelanga ukukhulelwa ngendlela yezinto eziphilayo, kanye nengane, eshiywe.

Akumelwe sizithathe kancane izinkinga ezingase ziqukethwe yilo mkhaya omusha, ngisho noma zingenakugwenywa. Nokho, ukuqaphela nokulindela izinkinga ezinjalo kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokuzizungeza.

Ukutholwa kungaphezu kwakho konke umhlangano. Futhi njengakho konke ukuhlangana, okwamanje kuyadlula noma kuyalenga. Umuntu ngamunye ohilelekile udinga ngokuphelele omunye, kodwa nokho ukubopha kungathatha isikhathi. Ngezinye izikhathi uthando lubagqilaza abazali nengane ngokufanayo. Kuyenzeka futhi ukuthi ubudlelwano bokuthembana nobumnene bakhelwe kancane.

Ayikho imodeli eyodwa, ayikho indlela eya phambili. Isilonda sokulahlwa sikhulu. Uma kukhona ukuphikiswa ngokomzwelo engxenyeni yengane, zama ukugcina ukuxhumana naye okungokwenyama, ukuze ujwayele ukuba khona kwakho. Ukwazi ukuthi impilo yakho injani nakho kungakusiza ukuqonde. Ingane engakaze ibonise uthando ngeke isabele ngendlela efanayo neyokwanga nokunakwa okuningi kusukela yazalwa.

Kuzo zonke izinhlobo zokukhulisa izingane, ukutholwa kanye nemvelo, ubudlelwano bomzali nengane budlula ezikhathini zokuzola nenjabulo, kanye nezinkinga. Umehluko wukuthi abazali bakushaya indiva okwedlule kwengane ngaphambi kokutholwa. Kusukela ezinsukwini zokuqala zokuphila, usana luqopha ulwazi mayelana nendawo ezungezile. Ezimweni zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba, izingane zokutholwa zingase zibe nokuphazamiseka kokunamathela noma ukuziphatha okuyingozi njengoba zikhula.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abazali bokutholwa, lapho bebhekene nezimo eziyinkinga, bayothambekela kalula ekungabazeni ikhono labo lokukhulisa umntwana. Kunoma yikuphi, khumbula ukuthi akukho lutho olunyakazayo: iziphepho ziyadlula, ubudlelwano buyashintsha.

Kuvame kakhulu ukuthi abazali bokutholwa bathuthukise inkimbinkimbi engenangqondo: icala lokungabi khona kwengane yabo ngaphambi kokutholwa. Ngenxa yalokho, banomuzwa wokuthi kufanele "balungise" noma "banxephezele", ngezinye izikhathi baze benze okuningi kakhulu. Ngasohlangothini lwengane yokutholwa, futhi ikakhulukazi phakathi nenkathi yobusha, ukukhethekile kwendaba yakhe kungaphawulwa njenge-alibi: uyafeyila esikoleni, wandise umbhedo ngoba uthathwe. Futhi uma kwenzeka ingxabano noma isijeziso, uphikisa ngokuthi akazange acele ukutholwa.

Qaphela ukuthi ukuhlubuka kwengane kuhle: kuyindlela yokuzikhulula entweni “yesikweletu” lapho ezibona ebhekene nomndeni wakhe wokutholwa. Kodwa-ke, uma ikhaya lakho linamathele kulokho okuguquguqukayo, kuyasiza ukuthola usizo kumelaphi, okhuluma nabazali kanye nezingane ngokufanayo. Ukuhlangana nomlamuli womndeni noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kungakusiza ukuxazulula izingxabano eziningi.

Ngaphezu kwakho konke ukutholwa kwengane kuwumthombo wenjabulo engenakulinganiswa: ndawonye niqala umndeni oweqa imithetho yezinto eziphilayo. Phendula ngaphandle kokungabaza imibuzo ingane ekubuza yona, ukuze ikwazi ukuzakha ngendlela enempilo. Futhi khumbula ukuthi ukwazi ukuthi ivelaphi kubaluleke kakhulu: akufanele uphikise. Impilo ephilwa abazali nengane ndawonye imnandi kakhulu. Futhi naphezu kwezingxabano eziyovela nakanjani, isikhathi nokuvuthwa kuyosiza ukubaxosha… njengomndeni ohlanganiswe igazi!

Ubudlelwano babazali bokutholwa kanye nengane bugcwele injabulo nobunzima: lo mndeni "owenziwe kabusha" unezinsuku zawo ezinhle nezinsuku ezimbi, njengayo yonke imindeni. Ukulalela, ukulondoloza ukukhulumisana okuhle, ukuba nozwela, ngaphandle kokubala yonke into ngendaba yokutholwa, kuyizihluthulelo ezibalulekile zokuphila komkhaya okuvumelanayo.