Okuqukethwe
Ingane ejabule inakho konke ekufunayo
Injabulo ayikona neze ukwaneliseka kwazo zonke izifiso, zonke izazi zefilosofi ziyavumelana ngalokhu! Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uneminyaka emingaki, ukuthola okufunayo kuletha impumuzo yesikhashana ebukeka njengenjabulo, kodwa akuyona injabulo yeqiniso. Njengokuthi uma unwaya lapho ukulunywa khona, uthola impumuzo emnandi, kodwa ukuzizwa ujabule ngempela kuhlukile! Futhi lapho usudlulile ukwaneliseka ngokushesha kwesifiso, ezintsha zidaleka ngokushesha, azicimeki. Umuntu wenziwa kanjalo, ufisa lokho angenakho, kodwa uma esenakho, uphendukela kulokho angakabi nakho. Ukuze wenze ingane yakho ijabule, ungamniki konke akufunayo, mfundise ukukhetha izinto eziza kuqala kuye, ukubekezelela ukukhungatheka, ukunciphisa izifiso zakhe. Mchazele ukuthi kunezinto esingaba nazo abanye bangabi nazo, yimpilo leyo! Mtshele ukuthi nina bazali ningaphansi komthetho ofanayo, okufanele nivume ukubeka imingcele ezifisweni zenu. Imvula imanzi, asikwazi ukuthola konke esikufunayo! Lapho zibhekene nabantu abadala abacacile nabanobumbene, izingane ezisacathula ziyawuqonda ngokushesha umqondo womhlaba.
Ingane ejabule yenza lokho ekuthandayo
Kunemindeni emibili yenjabulo. Injabulo ehambisana nenjabulo - isibonelo, ukushwiba, ukwamukela ukwangiwa, ukudla amaswidi nezinto ezinhle, ukuzwa imizwa emnandi ... Futhi injabulo ehambisana nokuba nekhono lokutholwa okusha, ekuthuthukeni esikwenzayo nsuku zonke emisebenzini yethu, isibonelo ukuqonda indlela yokwenza iphazili, ukwazi ukugibela ibhayisikili ngaphandle kwamasondo amancane, ukubhaka ikhekhe, ukubhala igama lakho, ukwakha umbhoshongo wase-Kapla, njll. Kubalulekile ukuze abazali basize ingane yabo encane ithole ukuthi kumnandi ukufunda, ukuthi kudinga umzamo, ukuthi kungaba nzima, ukuthi kufanele kuqalwe kabusha, kodwa kuyafaneleka ngoba, ekupheleni kosuku, ukwaneliseka kukhulu.
Ingane ejabule ijabule ngempela
Ngokuqinisekile, ingane ejabule, elinganiselayo, eyenza kahle ekhanda lakhe, oqinisekayo ekuphileni, uyamomotheka futhi uhleka kakhulu nabazali bakhe kanye nabangane bakhe. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungumuntu omdala noma osacathula, awukwazi ukujabula amahora angu-24 ngosuku! Ngosuku, futhi siyadumala, sikhungathekile, sidangele, sikhathazekile, sithukuthele ... ngezikhathi ezithile. Okubalulekile ukuthi izikhathi ezinhle lapho ingane yakho ipholile, ijabule, yanelisekile, idlula izikhathi ezingezinhle. Isilinganiso esifanele yimizwa emithathu eyakhayo yomzwelo owodwa ongemuhle. Imizwa engemihle ayilona uphawu lokwehluleka kwezemfundo. Ukwamukela ukuthi ingane ibhekana nosizi futhi ikwazi ukuzitholela yona ukuthi ukudabuka kwayo kungaphela futhi akuholeli ezinhlekeleleni kuyisisekelo. Kumele enze eyakhe "i-psychological immunity". Siyazi ukuthi uma sikhulisa ingane ngenhlanzeko eqine kakhulu, sandisa ubungozi bokungezwani komzimba nezinto ezithile ngoba ayikwazi ukwenza amasosha omzimba wayo. Uma uvikela ingane yakho ngokweqile emizwelweni engemihle, isimiso sakhe sokuzivikela ezingqondweni asikwazi ukufunda ukuzihlela.
Ingane ethandwayo ihlale ijabule
Uthando olungenamibandela nolungenamkhawulo lwabazali bakhe luyadingeka, kodwa akwanele ukwenza ingane ijabule. Ukuze akhule kahle, udinga nohlaka. Ukwazi ukwenqaba lapho kudingekile kuyinkonzo engcono kakhulu esingamnika yona. Akudingekile ukuba uthando lomzali lube yedwa. Izinkolelo ezinjengokuthi “Yithina kuphela esikwaziyo ukukuqonda, thina sodwa esaziyo ukuthi yini elungele wena” kufanele zigwenywe. Kubalulekile ukuthi abazali bakwamukele ukuthi abanye abantu abadala bangangenela emfundweni yabo ngendlela ehlukile kweyabo. Ingane idinga ukuhlikihla amahlombe nabanye, ithole ezinye izindlela zobudlelwano, izwakale ikhungathekile, ihlupheke ngezinye izikhathi. Kumele wazi ukuthi ukwamukeleka kanjani, yimfundo leyo eyenza ukhule.
Ingane ejabule inabangane abaningi
Ngokuqinisekile, ingane ephile kahle ngokuvamile ikhululekile emphakathini futhi ikuveza kalula lokho ekuzwayo. Kodwa lokhu akuwona umthetho oqinile futhi osheshayo. Ungaba nesitayela sobuntu esihlukile futhi ube muhle ngawe. Uma ukuxhumana nomphakathi kukhathaza ingane yakho ngaphezu kwabanye, uma iqaphile, igodliwe kancane, noma ngabe yini, inamandla obuhlakani kuyo. Okubalulekile kuyena ukuthi ajabule ukuthi azizwe emukelekile njengoba enjalo, unezindawo zenkululeko. Ingane ekhaliphile enjabulweni ethule, ecula, egxumagxumayo, ethanda ukudlala yodwa ekamelweni layo, esungula imihlaba futhi inabangane abathile, ithola ekuphileni kwayo lokho ekudingayo futhi iphumelele njengoba kwenza umholi. “edume” kakhulu ekilasini.
Ingane ejabule ayidinwa
Abazali besaba ukuthi ingane yabo izoba nesithukuthezi, ijikeleze imibuthano, ihlale ingenalutho. Kungazelelwe, bamhlelela izimiso zenkonzo, baphindaphinde imisebenzi. Uma imicabango yethu izulazula, lapho singenzi lutho, uma sibuka indawo ngefasitela lesitimela njengesibonelo, izindawo ezithile zobuchopho bethu - ososayensi abazibiza ngokuthi "inethiwekhi ezenzakalelayo" - ziyasebenza. Le nethiwekhi idlala indima ebalulekile enkumbulweni, ukuzinza kwemizwelo kanye nokwakhiwa kobunikazi. Namuhla, le nethiwekhi isebenza kancane kancane, ukunaka kwethu kuhlala kubanjwa izikrini, imisebenzi exhunywe ...
ukuminyana kubangela ingcindezi futhi kunciphisa umuzwa wenjabulo. Ungagcwalisi ngemisebenzi yangoLwezithathu nangezimpelaviki zengane yakho. Akakhethe lezi azithandayo ngempela, ezimjabulisa ngempela, azihlanganise nezikhathi lapho kungekho lutho oluhleliwe, ame kancane azomthoba, amehlise futhi amkhuthaze ukuthi asebenzise ubuhlakani bakhe. Ungayijwayeli imisebenzi ye-"continuous jet", ngeke esayijabulela futhi usezoba umuntu omdala oncike emjahweni wokuzijabulisa. Okungukuthi, njengoba sesibonile, okuphambene nenjabulo yeqiniso.
Kumelwe avikelwe kukho konke ukucindezeleka
Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ezinganeni ukuchayeka ngokweqile ekucindezelekeni kuyinkinga, kanjalo nokuvikela ngokweqile. Kungcono ukuba umntwana aziswe ngokwenzeka emndenini wakhe, ngamazwi alula nalulazayo abazali bakhe, futhi aqonde ukuthi bona laba bazali babhekana nakho: isifundo sokuthi usizi lukhona nokuthi kungenzeka ukubhekana nalo. liyoba yigugu kuye. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kusobala ukuthi akusizi ukuveza ingane ezindabeni zethelevishini, ngaphandle uma kuyisicelo sayo, futhi kulokhu, ngaso sonke isikhathi ube seceleni kwakhe ukuze uphendule imibuzo yakhe futhi umsize ahlaziye izithombe ezingaba namandla.
Kufanele umtshele ukuthi "ngiyakuthanda" nsuku zonke
Kubalulekile ukumtshela njalo nangokucacile ukuthi uyamthanda, kodwa hhayi nsuku zonke. Uthando lwethu kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi lubonakale futhi lutholakale, kodwa akufanele lube lukhulu futhi lube yonke indawo.
* Umbhali wencwadi ethi “Futhi ungakhohlwa ukujabula. I-ABC ye-positive psychology ”, ed. Odile Jacob.