Izimpawu Eziyisi-7 Zokudivosa

Izinkinga ezibangelwa izimo ezicindezelayo - ukushintsha umsebenzi, ukuthutha, izimo zokuphila ezimpintshana, ukwenezela emndenini - kulula kakhulu ukuzixazulula. Kodwa uma zinganakwa, zizophumela ezinkingeni ezinkulu kakhulu ohlwini olungezansi. Lezi zimpawu aziwona umusho wedivosi. Uma nje nobabili nigxile ekugcineni ubudlelwano, likhona ithemba.

1. Akukho ukuzwana empilweni yocansi

Ubulili obungavamile akusona isizathu sezinyathelo zesehlukaniso. Ukungafani okuyingozi kwezidingo. Uma udinga ucansi oluningi noma oluncane kunomlingani wakho, kuvela izinkinga. Kuzo zonke ezinye izimo, akunandaba ukuthi abanye benzani noma abangakwenzi. Into eyinhloko ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho nijabule. Uma kungekho ukungqubuzana kwengqondo noma kwezokwelapha kumbhangqwana, ukuntuleka kocansi ngokuvamile kubonisa izinkinga ezijulile ebudlelwaneni.

2. Akuvamile ukuba nihlangane

Izinsuku zakusihlwa ziyisici ozikhethela sona sohlelo. Ukuthi awuqomi akusho ukuthi ubuhlobo buphelile. Nokho, ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye kubalulekile. Ningahamba nihambe, nibuke amamuvi noma nipheke ndawonye. Ngalokhu utshela oshade naye ukuthi: "Ubalulekile kimi." Kungenjalo, nizifaka engcupheni yokuqhela komunye nomunye. Uma ningasichithi isikhathi ndawonye, ​​awazi ukuthi kwenzakalani ngomlingani wakho. Ugcina ulahlekelwe ukusondelana ngokomzwelo okwenza nithandane.

3. Ungabongi ngomlingani wakho

Ukwazisana nokubonga kubaluleke ngokufanayo. Uma lezi zimfanelo zinyamalala noma bezingekho ekuqaleni, uzoba senkingeni enkulu. Akukona ukuthinta okukhulu okubalulekile, kodwa amathokheni amancane ansuku zonke. Tshela umyeni wakho, “Ngikwazisa ngempela ukuthi usebenza kanzima kangaka usebenzela umkhaya,” noma umane umenzele inkomishi yetiye.

Ochwepheshe bezengqondo e-Gottman Institute abasebenza ngokukhethekile ekwelapheni imibhangqwana bahlonze "Abagibeli Bamahhashi Aba-4 Be-Apocalypse" okubalulekile ukwazi ngabo. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zinaka lezi zimpawu ngesikhathi sokwelashwa, zijwayelekile kubabhangqwana abanezinkinga ezinkulu. Ukuze banqobe lobu bunzima, imibhangqwana kumelwe ibuvume futhi isebenze ukuze ibunqobe.

4. Gxila umlingani wakho

Ukugxekwa kaningi kozakwethu kuthathwa njengokuthuka komuntu siqu. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu kubangela ukucasuka nokucasuka.

5. Bonisa ukudelela umlingani wakho

Ukubhekana nale nkinga kunzima, kodwa kungenzeka. Kuzodingeka ukukhombe, ukuvume, futhi ulungiselele ukusebenza kukho. Uma omunye wabalingani ehlala ebukela phansi omunye, engawunaki umbono wakhe, ehleka usulu, ebhuqa futhi ededela ama-barbs, owesibili uqala ukuzizwa engafaneleki. Ukudelela kuvame ukulandela ukulahlekelwa inhlonipho.

6. Ungawavumi amaphutha akho

Uma ozakwethu bengakwazi ukuvumelana ngenxa yokuthi oyedwa noma bobabili bashintshela ekuziphatheni okuzivikela, lokhu kuyinkinga. Ngeke nilalelane futhi ekugcineni nilahlekelwe isithakazelo sobabili. Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo sokusebenza kunoma yiziphi izinkinga zobudlelwano. Ukuziphatha kokuzivikela kuholela ekufuneni abanecala. Wonke umuntu uphoqeleka ukuthi azivikele ngokuhlaselwa: "Wenze lokhu" - "Yebo, kodwa ukwenzile lokho." Uyacasuka, futhi inkhulumomphendvulwano iphenduka impi.

Umatasa uzivikela uze ukhohlwe ukuxazulula inkinga yangempela. Ukuze uphume embuthanweni ononya, udinga ukuma, ubheke isimo ohlangothini, unike omunye nomunye isikhala nesikhathi sokukhuluma futhi uzwakale.

7. Ukungazinaki Izinkinga

Omunye wabalingani uyahamba, wenqaba ukukhuluma nowesibili futhi akavumeli inkinga ukuba ixazululwe. Ngokuvamile asifuni ukuzwa lokho okushiwo kithi ngoba sesaba ukuvuma inkinga, ukuzwa iqiniso, noma sesaba ukuthi ngeke sikwazi ukuyiphatha. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, umlingani wesibili uzama kanzima ukukhuluma. Angase abangele nokulwa ukuze aphendule owokuqala. Ngenxa yalokho, abantu bazithola besendaweni embi kakhulu. Umuntu onganakwa uyesaba noma iyiphi ingxabano, ukuze nje angabangeli ukuduba okusha. Ngemva kwalokho, ithemba lokubuyiselwa kobudlelwane liyafa.

Umthombo: The Guardian