Okuqukethwe
Mhlawumbe wonke umbhangqwana uphupha ubuhlobo obunempilo nobujabulisayo. Kodwa kungani eminye imifelandawonye ikwazi ukunqoba noma ibuphi ubunzima, kuyilapho eminye ihlukana lapho ihlangana okokuqala nezithiyo? Amathuba omshado ohlala njalo anda kakhulu uma bobabili abashadile benezimfanelo ezithile, kusho umqeqeshi kanye nomxhumanisi ekuthuthukiseni komuntu siqu kanye nobuciko bobudlelwane uKeith Dent.
Uma ufunde izincwadi eziningi nezindatshana mayelana nobudlelwano, cishe uye waqaphela ukuthi kunamaphuzu amabili aphikisanayo embuzweni wokukhetha umlingani. Abanye ochwepheshe baqinisekisa ukuthi "abaphikisanayo baheha", abanye ukuthi, ngokuphambene nalokho, kufanelekile ukufuna umuntu ofana nathi ngangokunokwenzeka.
“Kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuntu bakho buhambisana yini noma abunandaba kangako,” kusho umqeqeshi uKeith Dent. Noma yikuphi ukuphila komndeni kugcwele ubunzima, futhi uthando akuyona into kuphela egcina ubuhlobo obunempilo. “Kweminye imindeni abantu abathandanayo bayafana ngesimilo, kweminye abafani nhlobo. Ngokwami isipiliyoni ngingasho: bobabili bangahlala ndawonye ngenjabulo kuze kube phakade.
Okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi abalingani banezimfanelo ezithile.
1. Ikhono lokwamukela ngaphandle kokwahlulela
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukwazi ukuqonda nokwamukela umlingani nazo zonke izici zakhe, kuhlanganisa nezimnandi kakhulu.
Uma uzama ukwenza kabusha umngane wakho wokuphila, umshado wakho uzoqala ukubhidlika. Akukhona nje ukuthi uke wakhetha lo muntu nakho konke ukushiyeka kwakhe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, akekho othanda ukulalela ukugxekwa, futhi abanye baze bakuthathe njengenhlamba yomuntu siqu.
2. Ukwethembeka kumlingani
Ukwethembeka kuwuphawu lokuxhumana okuqinile ngokomzwelo phakathi kwenu. Kubalulekile ukuthi nifune ukusindisa umshado - hhayi ngomuzwa wokuzibophezela, kodwa ngoba niyiqembu elilodwa futhi nizimisele ukwenza konke okusemandleni ukuze nihlale ndawonye.
I-3. Ithemba
Wake wahlangana nombhangqwana ojabulayo lapho umlingani oyedwa engenza zonke izinqumo zabo bobabili? Lokho akwenzeki. Ngamunye wabashadile kufanele aqiniseke ukuthi umlingani uzomsekela kunoma yisiphi isimo futhi uzohlale ehlonipha imicabango yakhe, imibono nemizwa yakhe. Kulokhu, ukwethemba kanye nekhono lokulalela abanye kubalulekile.
4.Ukwethembeka
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ukwazi ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile mayelana nolwazi lwakho. Ngokuvamile sinobuqili noma sifihla imizwa yethu yangempela, ngoba, ukwazi umlingani, siyaqonda ukuthi umbono wethu noma izeluleko zizohlangatshezwa nokungavunyelwa. Ezimweni ezinjalo, ungaqambi amanga noma ufihle okuthile, zama ukuthola indlela yokusho lokho okucabangayo, kodwa ngendlela ozoyibona ngayo oshade naye.
5. Ikhono lokuthethelela
Kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo, ukungaqondi kahle, amaphutha, ukuxabana, ukungezwani akunakugwenywa. Uma abashadile bengakwazi ukuthethelelana, umshado ngeke uhlale isikhathi eside.
6. Ikhono lokwazisa
Kubalulekile ukukwazi ukwazisa konke othandekayo akunika kona, ngaphandle kokukuthatha kalula, futhi uthuthukise umuzwa wokubonga kuwe.
7. Ukuhleka
Kuhle njalo ukukwazi ukuhleka ukungaboni ngaso linye nokungavumelani kwakho. Ukuba namahlaya okuhle kusiza ekugcineni intshisekelo efanayo futhi kudambise izimo ezishubile ngesikhathi. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukudlula ezikhathini ezinzima ebudlelwaneni.
Mayelana nombhali: U-Keith Dent ungumqeqeshi, umeluleki wokuthuthuka komuntu siqu kanye nobudlelwano bobuciko.