Okuqukethwe
- 1. Abantu abaseduze nengane abayibonisi imizwa yabo yangempela.
- 2. Abazali benza konke ukuze baqinisekise ukuthi izingane zabo azibekezeleli ukudumazeka.
- 3. Esikhundleni senduduzo yangempela, abazali bayayiphazamisa ingane.
- 4. Abazali baziphatha ngendlela engalindelekile
- 5. Abazali bamane baziba izingane zabo '"cha"
Ingabe ingane yakho ingundlovukayiphikiswa? Kuyethusa ngisho ukucabanga! Kodwa-ke, uma ungathuthukisi ikhono lokuzwelana naye, lesi simo kungenzeka kakhulu. Uzwela luvela kanjani futhi yimaphi amaphutha emfundweni okufanele agwenywe?
1. Abantu abaseduze nengane abayibonisi imizwa yabo yangempela.
Ake sithi ingane encane ishaya enye ekhanda ngefosholo. Kuyoba okuphambene uma thina, abadala, naphezu kweqiniso lokuthi sithukuthele, simamatheka futhi sithi: "Kostenka, ungakwenzi lokhu!"
Kulokhu, ingqondo yengane ayikhumbuli kahle ukuthi enye izizwa kanjani lapho ingane ilwa noma ikhuluma izinto ezidelelayo. Futhi ukuze kuthuthukiswe uzwela, ukukhumbula ngekhanda isenzo kanye nokusabela kuso kudingekile kakhulu.
Izingane kufanele zivunyelwe ukuba zihlupheke ngokuhluleka okuncane kusukela ekuqaleni.
Ukuzwelana nokuziphatha komphakathi akunikezwanga kusukela ekuzalweni: ingane encane kufanele ikhumbule kuqala ukuthi yimiphi imizwa ekhona, ukuthi ivezwa kanjani ngokushukuma komzimba kanye nesimo sobuso, indlela abantu abasabela ngayo ngokwanele kubo. Ngakho-ke, lapho igagasi lemizwa liphakama kithi, kubalulekile ukuyiveza ngokwemvelo ngangokunokwenzeka.
"Ukuwohloka" okuphelele kwabazali, ngendlela, akuyona ukusabela kwemvelo. Ngokubona kwami, leli gama lisetshenziswa ngokweqile abantu abadala abathethelela ulaka lwabo olungalawuleki: «Kodwa ngenza nje ngokwemvelo…» Cha. Imizwa yethu ilele endaweni yethu yesibopho. Ukwenqaba lo mthwalo wemfanelo nokuwudlulisela enganeni akuyena umuntu omdala.
2. Abazali benza konke ukuze baqinisekise ukuthi izingane zabo azibekezeleli ukudumazeka.
Izingane kumele zifunde ukubekezelela ukwehluleka, zikunqobe ukuze ziphume ezimeni ezahlukene zempilo ziqine. Uma impendulo evela kubantu ingane enamathele kubo, ithola isibonakaliso sokuthi bayakholelwa kuye, ukuzethemba kwakhe kuyakhula. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukuziphatha kwabantu abadala kubaluleke kakhulu kunamazwi abo. Kubalulekile ukusakaza imizwa yakho yangempela.
Kunomehluko phakathi kokududuza ngokubamba iqhaza kanye nokududuza ngokuphazamiseka.
Kuyadingeka ukuvumela izingane ukuba zihlupheke ukwehluleka okuncane kusukela ekuqaleni. Asikho isidingo sokususa zonke izithiyo ngaphandle kokukhetha endleleni yengane: ukukhungatheka ukuthi kukhona okungakenzeki okubangela ugqozi lwangaphakathi lokukhula ngaphezu kwakho.
Uma abazali bevimbela lokhu njalo, khona-ke izingane zikhula zibe abantu abadala abangavumelani nokuphila, behluleka ukwehluleka okuncane noma ngisho nokungakwazi ukuqala okuthile ngenxa yokwesaba ukungakwazi ukubhekana nakho.
3. Esikhundleni senduduzo yangempela, abazali bayayiphazamisa ingane.
Uma kukhona okungahambi kahle futhi njengenduduzo, abazali banikeza ingane isipho, beyiphazamisa, ubuchopho abufundi ukuqina, kodwa bujwayele ukuthembela ekufakeni esikhundleni: ukudla, iziphuzo, ukuthenga, imidlalo yevidiyo.
Kunomehluko phakathi kokududuza ngokubamba iqhaza kanye nokududuza ngokuphazamiseka. Ngenduduzo yangempela, umuntu uzizwa engcono, uzizwa ekhululekile.
Abantu banesidingo esiyisisekelo sokwakheka nokuhleleka ekuphileni kwabo.
Induduzo yomgunyathi iguga ngokushesha, ngakho udinga okwengeziwe. Yiqiniso, ngezikhathi ezithile, abazali bangakwazi "ukugcwalisa igebe" ngale ndlela, kodwa kungaba ngcono ukugona ingane futhi bezwe ubuhlungu bayo naye.
4. Abazali baziphatha ngendlela engalindelekile
Enkulisa, nganginomngane omkhulu, u-Anya. Ngangimthanda kakhulu. Nokho, abazali bakhe babengenakubikezelwa ngokuphelele: ngezinye izikhathi babesiqhumisa ngamaswidi, bese—njengebhawodi elivela eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka—baqala ukuthukuthela futhi bangikhiphela ngaphandle emgwaqweni.
Ngangingazi ukuthi senzeni kabi. Igama elilodwa elingalungile, ukubukeka okungalungile, futhi yisikhathi sokubaleka. Kwakuvame ukwenzeka ukuthi u-Anya angivulele umnyango ekhala futhi anikine ikhanda uma ngifuna ukudlala naye.
Ngaphandle kwezimo ezingaguquki, ingane ngeke ikwazi ukukhula inempilo.
Abantu banesidingo esiyisisekelo sokwakheka nokuhleleka ekuphileni kwabo. Uma isikhathi eside bengakwazi ukubona kusengaphambili ukuthi usuku lwabo luzohamba kanjani, baqala ukucindezeleka futhi bagule.
Okokuqala, lokhu kusebenza ekuziphatheni kwabazali: kufanele kube nohlobo oluthile lwesakhiwo oluqondakalayo kumntwana, ukuze azi ukuthi yini echazwe futhi ingaqondiswa yilo. Lokhu kumsiza ukuthi azethembe ngokuziphatha kwakhe.
Kunabafundi abaningi esikoleni sami ababhalwe "nezinkinga zokuziphatha" ngumphakathi. Ngiyazi ukuthi abaningi babo banabazali abafanayo abangalindelekile. Ngaphandle kwezimo ezingaguquki neziqondiso ezicacile, ingane ngeke ifunde imithetho yokuhlalisana "okuvamile". Kunalokho, uyosabela ngendlela engalindelekile.
5. Abazali bamane baziba izingane zabo '"cha"
Bayanda abantu abafunda iqiniso elilula elithi “cha kusho cha” mayelana nobudlelwano bocansi babantu abadala. Kodwa ngesizathu esithile, sasakaza okuphambene nezingane. Ifundani ingane uma ithi cha kodwa kusafanele yenze lokho abazali bayo abakushoyo?
Ngoba onamandla njalo enquma lapho «cha» ngempela kusho «cha». Inkulumo yabazali ethi "Ngikufisela okuhle kuphela!" empeleni awukude kangako umyalezo womdlwenguli othi: “Kodwa nawe uyakufuna!”
Ngesinye isikhathi, lapho amadodakazi ami esemancane, ngaxubha amazinyo enye yawo engafuni. Ngangiqiniseka ngempela ukuthi lokhu kwakudingeka, kwakuzuzisa yena kuphela. Nokho wamelana kwangathi kumayelana nokuphila kwakhe. Wadazuluka wamelana, kwadingeka ngimbambe ngawo wonke amandla ami.
Kukangaki singakunaki "cha" kwezingane zethu ngenxa nje yokunethezeka noma ukungabi nesikhathi?
Kwakuyisenzo sobudlova sangempela. Lapho ngikubona lokhu, ngamyeka futhi ngafunga ukuthi ngeke ngiphinde ngimphathe kanjalo. Angafunda kanjani ukuthi “cha” wakhe ubalulekile, uma ngisho nomuntu osondelene naye, othandekayo emhlabeni engakwamukeli lokhu?
Yiqiniso, zikhona izimo lapho thina, bazali, kumelwe futhi sinyathele phezu «cha» izingane zethu. Lapho umntwana oneminyaka emibili ubudala eziphonsa phezu kwe-asphalt phakathi nomgwaqo ngoba engafuni ukuqhubeka, akukho mbuzo: ngenxa yezizathu zokuphepha, abazali kufanele bamthathe bamthwale.
Abazali kufanele futhi babe nelungelo lokusebenzisa «amandla okuvikela» maqondana nezingane zabo. Kodwa kwenzeka kangaki lezi zimo, futhi kukangaki sikuziba «cha» izingane zethu ngenxa nje lula noma ukungabi nesikhathi?
Mayelana nombhali: U-Katya Zayde unguthisha wesikole esikhethekile